Today I found out my baby has died...

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OvenReady
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 4:00 pm 
Post subject: Today I found out my baby has died...
I'm heartbroken.

I would have been 12 weeks pregnant this week. On Friday I started bleeding, only lightly, no cramps, but in panic I went to hospital. Anyway, to cut a long story short I had to last the whole weekend with no news - no scans happen over the weekend (i.e. don't get ill in pregnancy over the weekend). I was told to go back Monday am - that's today. So I did...

After being told I wasn't booked to have a scan (wtf!) and I would have to come back another day, I broke down and argued my case, insisting I needed to know if my baby was still alive... And it's a good thing I insisted.

So they squeezed me in, and the worst was confirmed: my baby died at 8 and a half weeks.

I'm home now, quite numb, mulling things over. I can't bear the thought of surgery, and I want the chance to say goodbye properly to my little one. I've decided to try and sit it out and wait till he decides he's ready to leave me (I'm convinced it's a boy).

Does anyone have experience of this - delayed miscarriage - and waiting to lose the baby naturally? I don't know anyone who has so have no-one to talk to.

Also - I want to do something, or have something, in remembrance of my baby - can anyone give me some ideas?

I have one son already, 21 months old, so I know I should be grateful, but I long to have more kids, my little one would love a playmate. It was all set in my mind, plans made, my perfect little family.
Sad
simmysim
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 6:48 pm 
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aw honey Sad im so so so sorry Crying or Very sad i knwo exactly how ur feeling right now!
i went for my 12 week scan and baby had died (11+2)! i too didnt want op either, and they told me they would only leave it 2 weeks, but it happen early hours that morning.
i so wish i could say somethingto make you feel better, but there are no words!
has anyone explained what will happen? only that was my 1st MC and the nurse explained how it would feel and the bleeding etc and im soo glad she did!
i walked home on my own after my scan feeling exactly how u felt, just numb Sad and i tried talking to OH about it and all i got from him was "theres no point in talking about it, it wont chnage anything!" Crying or Very sad but i felt i needed to!
xXx
ctinso
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Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 3:20 pm 
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aw hun so sorry for you loss there is nothing worse i went thru the same thing without the bleeding all i can say is time is a great healer i know you prob dont wanna hear that i know i didnt and even afetr 7 years i still sit and wonder
hope your ok take care and rest hun xxxxxx
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Jolly
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Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:54 pm 
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I'm so so so sorry honey. That's awful I feel for you at this hard time. I lost one at 11 wks and had to wait a couple of days, in fact I ended up back in A&E because I was bleeding so badly. I got the op the next day after spending the night in hops on a drip. It's heartbreaking at the time. The hospital gave me the option of taking the remains home so I did and we buried them in a relatives grave, so at least I have somewhere to go. It just takes time and try to talk to someone about ur feelings. Let yourself cry. I also have a friend who has suffered 2 miscarriages this year and it's hard to see her suffering. I hope & pray u feel better soon. Sending you love, hugs and prayers. Xxx
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LianneJane5687
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Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2012 9:19 pm 
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So sorry for your loss hun.
I lost a baby in Oct 2010, I had been for a scan at 5 weeks as had been getting a bit of pain and they said all was well with the baby, I went to Wales for 4 weeks and they said they wanted to scan me when i got back. The whole time i was in Wales i barely got out of bed as was so ill and had bad sickness couldn't keep anything down and didn't have any energy but didn't have any bleeding so when i got back home i went for the scan which i should have been 9 weeks but they said baby had died at 5 weeks so around about the time i had my first scan. I was absolutely heartbroken as i wanted the baby so much.
They told me to go back the next week just to see if the dates had got messed up (which wouldnt have worked out) that week was the longest ever as a part of me was clinging onto some hope even though i knew what the outcome would be so i went for the scan and they asked me if i wanted to have the D&C or wait for it to come away naturally so i chose the op as don't think i would have coped as well seeing all the blood knowing what it was from
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LianneJane5687
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Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2012 9:22 pm 
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Sorry forgot to post this next bit.

My OH had a tattoo in memory of our Angel Baby and it's weird as our daughter is only 8 months old yet she cuddles the arm with the tattoo on and puts her lips on it as though she's kissing it Shocked

Also on the anniversary that we found out we lost the baby and on the due date we let 2 balloons go up to our Angel
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michelletv
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Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 11:03 am 
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Miscarriage is such a traumatic experience. i had 2 miscarriages before i had Lily. i knew though that i had to pick myself up and carry on especially if i was determined to have another baby.
i always remember my babies due dates and it makes me sad, but i try not to dwell on it too much. Cause if i had not had those miscarriages, then i would never had known our daughter Lily. She is the blessing that we so long waited for, and it was worth it.
Good luck to you all who are trying....never give up!
lotsa love.
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OvenReady
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 6:43 pm 
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Thanks ladies...

The bleeding *finally* settled down at the weekend, and I am ready to try again. In fact, DH and I dabbled in a spot of BBD last night. I know there are diff opinions as to when to try after mc, but I ain't getting any younger (43 next month) so I'm ttc now.

Of course, this won't replace the little one we lost, but it will be steps nearer to me having the complete family I so crave.

Good luck to all who are trying.
xxx
michelletv
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Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 4:42 am 
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Hi oven ready, I had Lily before my 43 rd birthday. Don't give up trying, its never too late. Wishing you all the best God bless xx
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Angelcake71
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 4:51 pm 
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Sad so sorry hunni.. I have had an ectopic and 2 m/c..
and having had the due dates go by it doesnt get any easier..

To remember them.. I bought a ring with each of their birth stones in from the date they would have been born.. one was May( so I got an emerald ring.. one january, an amethyst ring and one june.. so I got a Ruby ring..hubby also bought me a ruby amethyst and emerald pendant..I am thinking of having a tatoo done as well.. 3 butterflies maybe??

take it easy ((HUGS)) XX
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