Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 3:54 pm
Post subject: Feeling a little bit discriminated against.
My partner and I started TTC November 2011, though at the beginning of the year I was diagnosed with PCOS. I'm only 19 and realise that I'm quite young to be starting a family, but my partner and I have been together a while now, and are in a stable living situation, so feel we're ready to take the jump. I went to my doctor and asked if he could give us any advice or help with trying to get pregnant, but the response I got was essentially that we had to wait a year until they would suggest Clomid/Metformin or anything else, so we accepted this and carried on as we were. But recently on returning to the doctors, a different doctor brought up the situation and said that we would have to try naturally for 2 years before any help!!!
I feel like, because of my age, my doctors are trying to put off giving me help, almost as if to make it take longer so I get a bit older before having my child. I appreciate the thought behind it, but I'm a grown up, who knows my own capabilties, and my own body. I'm ready for a baby, and I don't want to be fussed around...
Anybody been through anything similair? Any advice anyone could give on what I should do?
Many thanks in advance xxx
Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 10:40 am
I'd go back and ask what the reasoning behind waiting two years is ?
As normally its one year of TTC before any more help is offered, if it is just purely on your age then thats totally wrong , you should get the same help as anyone else (annoys me too and i'm at the other end of it at 42 I have docs imply i'm too old )
If you have PCOS and are not ovulating then there's no reason to tell you to keep waitng and trying , yes you might get lucky and just happen to conceive but its not likely if you rarely ovulate so there's no reason to delay treatment , its not like with a couple who've had routine bloods and an SA and have no obvious problems , where the odds are good they will conceive before the end of the 2yr mark because they'll be getting about 24 chances you have a diagnosed condition that is stopping you conceiving and can be treated and so should be treated .
I would go back with someone else for support (partner or Mum perhaps), write down the points you want to make and write down the docs answers (makes them less likely to BS you if they know you're keeping a record and have a witness ) and ask for a referral if they say they can't prescribe clomid/metformin and if you ask directly they should put one through ,if they still won't then don't argue with them just ask to see the practise manager and tell her/him that you will put in a formal complaint to the PCT if they refuse to refer you for treatment as you feel you're being discriminated against because of your age , sometimes you have to be pushy and even make a bit of a nuisance of yourself to get them to take you seriously and thats easier to do if you have someone with you on your side
If you don't agree with something you don't just have to accept it xxx
Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 4:05 pm
Thank you so much for your reply! It's a lot easier to know what to do when you hear it coming from someone else haha. My partner and I have had a chat and decided we will wait until our 1 year mark, after all we would PREFER to have our baby without any help, but obviously dont want to wait too long, and as 1 year was the original mark we were told, at least we've stuck to our end of the original agreement we made with the doctor. It's also less than 3 months away now so we don't have much longer to wait!
Then, I'm going to go in there, determined, and not come out again until I'm at least one step towards getting the help we want, using all the things you have suggested. Hopefully this will work and we'll be able to set the ball rolling!
Many thanks again for your response! Best wishes to you and everyone else from AB xxx
Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2012 4:29 pm
I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 22 and I was refused help from the consultant when I moved from Surrey to Birmingham when I was 25, although I had had help from the consultant who diagnosed me initially.
If you want to try things naturally, then I personally found that losing weight helped me concieve my first baby and then the one I'm currently baking But I'm a large lady (fluffy, according to my OH) but I don't know whether that would be something that you'd need. But it could be a starting point naturally wise.