Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 12:46 pm
yes it will i am pretty spiritual and know that our lives are mapped out for us already, god will be send us a baby when its the right time...... am sure if BFN tomorrow i wont feel as calm about it all....
i also knew that the ovarian drilling wasnt going to work and knew we had been on chlomid so long, i just knew we would get to IVF stage.... now am here just not sure how i feel.
today i am doing the following so the day flies by: getting up late helped:
- write an IVF diary going to make note of all apppointments I had. think this be useful if we get BFN i can then work around doing it again around some contract work....
- look at eurostar and hotels for Lille France going saturday - if BFN i can drink mulled wine to my hearts content but if BFP be a lovely little break
- make list of xmas food and presents to buy
- look at next directory - need a new wool coat but been holding off buying one...
i am not really speaking to anyone this week just having some us time...i have forgotten how my partner is feeling too his finding the wait agonising too.....
as u can see i like making lists.xx
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 12:50 pm
and a list of things to do if pregnant of not pregnant - may sound mad to some... i seem to have more on my not pregnant list, guess thats the only way i know,
if BFN i intend to give blood, and call my NHS consultant asap!!!
if BFP i will just cry and smile all day
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 1:48 pm
Lol Nicky @ your lists Youve done so well not testing. I know what you mean about not wanting to see a bfn, on my fet cycle it was weird I was convinced it had worked and when it came to the day I knew I was going to test it just hit me that it hadnt out of no where.
Im very much like you Nicky I believe our lives our mapped out too, in fact I had the chinese symbol for fate tattoed on my wrist and Im now decided on Que sera sera - what will be will be for another tattoo to be added to my collection as thats very much what I believe. I dont know why we havent been blessed with a baby yet and it doesnt make sense as we feel as ready as we can be but I do ultimately believe if its meant to happen itll happen - que sera sera!
Its a very odd feeling being so calm about things, despite all we have been through I still feel really positive. Even feeling good about a natural miracle happening . Oh by the way Nicky what dates your birthday mines beginning of May too. x
Ttc since December 2007!
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 1:54 pm
Hi lovely lady..... my birthday is may 2nd Taurus, strong and determined, probably where we get our strength from clare... dont tell me your same day???
I like the sound of your tatooe i had a feather on my foot to represent spirit..... i believe that my dad is up there along with god and the angels hatching a plan, for all of us waiting for our BFP.....
i am very much like you too in fact that i cant change the outcome and i cant make it happen, it will when its meant to........ as u say we are both so ready too....
my spiritual mentor lady just rang and said she will send out some prayers tonight and healing for tomorrow... i was even thinking of testing later to ensure that there is enough levels for detecting a pregnancy , mad I know.xxx
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:02 pm
Im the 6th and a very typical taurean everything that they say about taurus is true when it comes to me. Also I find the chinese horoscopes very accurate Im a metal monkey lol. My mum cant believe how strong I seem to be and how I havent let any of it get me down I think she expects me to be emotional wreck or something - but thats just how she would be shes an extremely emotional and sensitive person.
I had 3 butterflies tattooed on my foot to represent the 3 babies I never had.
Hey its not silly at all to want to test, do you have any gut feeling on it?
Ttc since December 2007!
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:04 pm
Snap, that is what I believe too! When I was going through my first fet, I went to church each week and there was a visiting priest from africa, he was so inspirational, I had never seen him before or since but listening to him really helped me through it. He was explaining how God has a plan for us all and its not for us to question why or what that is, but to trust that thingswill happen for our best interests. Even if we cant see why things happen at the time, there are reasons. My DH was never 'ready' to have a baby and I wanted one for years, I had to convince him to start ttc. I think if it had happened easily he wouldnt be the great dad he is now and may have taken parenthood for granted. By the time we got our bfp, he wanted it just as much as I did.
I neec to get some of that patience and faith back this time I think!!
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:26 pm
ha ha just checked mine im the tiger this is SOOO me.
Tigers may not be the king of the jungle, but these striped cats are no softies! Magnetic and self-possessed, Tigers are born leaders. They have an air of authority that prompts others to fall in line, which is exactly how they like it. Although they are magnetically charming and fun to be around, Tigers like to go it alone sometimes too. A Tiger's main interest is in following its ambitions -- and maintaining control. Tigers are courageous beyond compare and generally come out ahead in battle
my mum is a strong lady in some ways she coped amazing when dad died, but... she is also very sensitive and scared of change, she isnt as strong as me by far... she worries, ( which is where i get it from) and is a little scared of the world. she just text asking how i was as I havent rang her, told her i am having quiet time until test date. ( nobody knows its tomz)
butterflies sound gorgeous Clare
do i have a gut feeing, NOOOOO i dont...I was so doubtful but now I am on the fence, i know it could be a little miracle and have implanted but i also think its gonna be negative.... i just have no idea.....???
FC I suffered with anxiety for years, a true worrier, ( thanks Mum) and never felt like i belonged, i then joined a church for spirit and now sit in a circle and i belong there so much. i know that my dad and my guides and god are up there, working their magic. we all come to this world with a plan, of how we are going to live it. i have had to overcome so many ups and downs in life and had to fight my way through it... i always come out the other side, guess this was gods plan for me, but for once I DONT want to fight this, i just want to be a mum, so hoping my prayers havent gone un heard.....
FC what a lovely story about your DH... when we started the journey he said i want it more than him but that he wants to be a dad, now 2 years on and after this IVF his so excited and wants a little girl to spoil...
you will get the faith back.... its so hard, today im positive speak to me tomorrow x
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:41 pm
Im a worrier to I worry about the silliest of things, but no one would ever know. To the outside world I must come across as pretty cold and uncaring but I just keep it in my own head and deal with it in my head and thats it , its done. My o/h is very similiar to me in that neither of us see the point in getting upset about it, it wont change anything about the situation and to me its just a waste of energy. Its funny how we are all quite similiar in our thinking and faith of life paths etc.. it almost makes us better equipped for dealing with this a lot better than some others would deal with it.
Ttc since December 2007!
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:46 pm
thing is sometimes i worry and its irrational last night bf was 10 mins late home and was cycling, i heard police car and thought the worst, it annoys him that i worry so much.
im sure i was only like this since dad died... fear of loss i guess.
dya know what i feel truly thankful that i found u ladies on this forum... i never thought it would help so much but think we have all formed a really lovely bond. hope u all agree
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:59 pm
I certainly do agree Nicky its a lovely place to be here and wonderful people too. Thats another thing I believe that people and situations are sent into our lives to teach us lessons whether they be good or bad. Its like my zumba classes, when I started out I went with my only 2 friends and found it really embarassing (Im unbelievably shy). Eventually 1 friend dropped out and my other friend was hit and miss, so I did something completely different for me and started braving the classes by myself. Its taken a fair bit of time (around 14 months) but Ive slowly but surely made my way from the back to the front of class and I started making friends and for me that is amazing. Im still not there 100 % and I struggle with what to say to them but Ive been out on 2 social occasions with them now and actually discovered when I started having a chat that 1 lady has been through Ivf and 2 fets and another lady is embarking on ivf next year. First time Ive actually met someone in person who knew exactly what we'd gone through. It feels like I was meant to go to those classes.
Ttc since December 2007!