Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 5:13 pm
Post subject: DD is a 'nightmare'
Hi. I'm going mental. DS was a piece of cake, really a lovely kid, sure we had our 'issues', controlled crying, not eating etc.. but really a piece of cake.
DD - pretty much from day 1, my nickname for her has been Little Madam. She has a lovely personality, so sweet and quiet, but on the otherhand... she is alot more work.
Don't get me wrong, thats not the problem, its just I feel lately that I don't know how to make her happy.
She crawled at about 11 months, this past weekend she just learnt to stand, she teethed late. She now has 3 bottom teeth and her top 4 teeth all came in at the same time - about 2 weeks ago, but you still only see such a tiny bit of them, so I reckon they are still causing her trouble coming all the way through.
I'm at home with her all day, and I just feel like all she does is moan and cry. Sunday she threw her first actual tantrum, screaming on the floor, arms and legs spinning around.... DS never did this, so it was abit of a shock!
Even dressing her, dressing her is a huge drama, she won't lie or sit still, I can't seem to distract her more then 3 sec's with a toy, singing, blowing bubbles etc.. Everything just seems to be a fight with her.
Why is she so whiny all the time? Is it just everything at once? 4 teeth, standing, wanting to do more and not able to, separation anxiety (maybe?). She used to go down so nicely at night. Now she screams the house down about 10min after I've put her to bed. And when I say scream the house down, I really do mean it. Its hard to know whether to go and check on her or not (makes things worse) because I'm not sure if she has hurt herself or something, the screaming is so bad.
How do I make her happy? Every time she cries, I just want to sit on the floor and cry too.
She eats and drinks really well and for the rest really is a lovely sweet gorgeous little girl.
Is it a phase, am I missing something, doing something wrong? What?
Any advice is very welcome.
Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 5:21 pm
oh sweetheart reading your post it could've been me writing it.my daughter is the same.she was born very small and was late doing everything.same situation with the teeth, just learning to cruise etc etc. she has never slept well I'm 4 nights on the trot with little to no sleep. her crying wakes me ds who I then have to deal with him when I've settled her!!! I'm sure my son was a handful too only with just one at the timemaybe it didn't seems so much.I'm really hoping it's just a phase coz I'm mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted.I don't have any advice as such so I'm pretty useless in that regard but just wanted to say I totally feel your pain and I hope it's just a phase they're going through!!!
Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 6:48 pm
No your not doing anything wrong at all! Remember no two kids are the same! Teething will be causing her to be a little more whingey I'm having the same with my son. He has just got two at the back through abd you can see them all in his gums. As for the tantrums tell me about it my son was such a quiet baby but as soon as he got mobile the tantrums started, nappy changes are a battle and dressing/undressing is a workout in itself. His favourite word is no because all i say is no and he sees everything as a game. I'm trying my best to be consistent hoping eventually he will get the message. The tantrums I'm hoping are just frustration from either him not being able to do/go where he wants and from me not allowing him to do things. I am trying to find ways to engage him
In play and keep occupied but at the moment he is far more interested in investigating where he shouldn't.
As for bedtime my son did that whilst he was getting some teeth and once they were through he stopped. I only go up if he has been screaming for 15 minutes but it very rarely went past this.
Keep strong and I'm sure she will get easier in time. I'm sure the teething is the main cause and she clearly is very strong minded!
Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 10:40 pm
are you doing too much for her i wonder?
what age is she?
my daughter moans moans moans sometimes and it does my head in completely - but when i take a step back - its always the days that i have spoiled her - i.e. shes received gifts or i have done absolutely EVERYTHING for her.
I say call her bluff and start showing her how to do stuff herself - you talk about dressing and washing her - show her how to do it alone. treat her like a big girl and see how she reacts to it - let her try to dress herself.
also - when she whines - ignore it - i know its hard - but try. just go and do something else when she starts and say that you WON´T listen to that whining any more. There´s only so much you can do. i know how annoying that whining for nothing is...
Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 6:11 am
Thanks very much for your replies, I'm feeling better and more positive. I reckon she probably takes after her Mom in her stubbornness!
She is 12 and a half months.
Actually I don't think I do enough for her - it least in sitting down and spending quality time with her. I let her eat her bread, fruit, any food that she can pick up herself, she holds her own bottle etc.. But for the rest - dressing, eating porridge, no way I'm afraid. I know we are not supposed to compare but I am really surprised to see how "behind" she is compared to her brother. Boys are 'meant'to be slow - DS was super fast in everything for a boy, she is taking her sweet time, has no co-ordination, nothing... If I gave her a spoon she would either chew on it for her teeth or bang it. She loves to bang things.
Wherever I can, I let her do things.
Thanks again. xxx
Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 7:30 am
well from personal experience hun I think boys are more physically advanced quicker and girls are quicker at learning to run rings around us! my son was walking at 10 months and Mr independent when he wanted to be off exploring but still wanted me to do everything for him as in feeding etc whereas Maria wants to do it herself but can't yet so is getting frustrated that way but she's much more content to be in the one place which my son would never do.couldn't keep him in a buggy/high chair etc. I guess they're all different but I find my daughter is brighter at working things out than jp was but he was always too busy to sit and figure things out he was always on the go climbing etc. it might bw just frustration that she can't physically do it yet.I think she's probably just at that stage where she is wanting independence but lacks the skills to do what she wants yet and because she's that bit older by the time she's going through it her moaning is more persistent than when our sons were going through it as they were more distractable when they are younger!!!
Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 8:58 am
I could have written this about my son! He's 13months. I feel like all he does is cry/moan/whine at me at the moment. I don't know what i'm doing wrong. I personally feel it's just a phase though and although i'm tearing my hair out i'm trying to stay positive, he had a clingy phase about 4months ago and he's come out of that so hopefully he'll stop moaning soon. He too is teething and also starting to walk so i think it's built up frustration for him of pain in his mouth and getting annoyed he can't get everywhere he wants.
Also although it's hard, you can't compare. i'm constantly comparing my two but it's silly cause they are completely different, even if there are some similarities. I think you drive yourself crazy when you compare them to siblings or other kids.
Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 1:57 pm
Thanks ladies. The past 2 days have been better, DD hasn't been any better, but if she starts acting out I just start singing and that at least keeps me cheerful, most times she stops acting out.
Her lastest since this morning is arching her back and yelling when I try and put her in the car seat... Ohhhh, she likes to try my patience..