Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:02 pm
Post subject: My toddlers making life such a battle...help!!
Hi everyone, just need to offload this cause its really getting to me.
My son is 2 years and 4 months now and he is being so so naughty. Me and hubby are trying SO hard, we really are. We try to be patient, explain to him why hes naughty, threaten removal of sweets and tv programmes etc etc. We put him in his room for timeout and even shout at him to which he laughs and carrys on....aarrrghhhh!!! What else can you do!!! I'll list below a few examples of what he does..
Refuses point blank to get out of the bath after all the water has gone...everynight!!
Splashes daddy constantly soaking him whilst in the bath regardless of him telling him to stop
Constantly picking up things that hes not allowd, depsite being asked to leave them
Wont have his coat, shoes put on....runs away and wont come back
Now these might seem like simple one off toddler misbehaviour but this is everyday, all the time he just wont do anything you ask him or tell him to stop doing. Its making everyday such a stressful, miserable battle and really causing me and hubby to disagree alot. When will it end!!! Everything that should be fun or happy just turns into stress!!
Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:06 pm
Unfortantely sounds like you're going through what a lot of us are going through. Terrible twos is a stressful time but it will pass (or so i'm told! Lol ) with regards to some things like splashing in the bath, have you tried just ignoring the behaviour? He prob does it more cos you tell him to stop so he thinks its funny and/or enjoys the attention it brings. Also, if my two wont get out the bath i just lift them out, they dont have much choice. Dont give him a choice or he'll think its his decision to get out when he wants x
Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 6:48 am
i was told sometimes you just have to pick your battles.
if he wont get out the bath, leave him, he will soon want out when he gets cold. same with his coat and shoes.
sometimes they just keep doing things they have been told not to. i am fed up of telling sam not to leave toys on the stairs/in the hall/behind doors.
Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 10:33 am
I agree with the picking of the battles but you have also got to make sure you follow through, no matter what and try not to shout as it shows loss of control.
Is he bored? After your attention? (Not saying this is the case but defo worth a thought).
I use time out and it really does work. Come down to his level explain that if he keeps doing what he is doing he will be going in time out (be specific make sure he knows what he is doing like, if you keep shouting you will go in time out). It may be easier to get a step from ikea (other stores are available ) or somewhere and use that as its easier then the bedroom and you also know he isn't playing while in time out. No matter what he does in time out ignore it, even if he is screaming the house down. If he gets off the step though just place him back on it. If he gets off and on, still go over and calmly readjust him without saying anything, this will let him know his 2 mins has been re-set. Make sure he apologises (else its back in time out) and always give him kisses and cuddles after to show all is forgiven.
With regards to the bath thing, make sure he knows it is coming and count it down so its not a shock. We are getting out in 5 mins, then again at 3 and 1 min. Also let him be the one to pull out the plug. Try and make it a little ritual/game. Lift him out at the end and if the tantrum starts then start with the time out warning.
Remember only warn once with regards to time out. Like the other lady said though, pick your battles. If he is doing something annoying but not necessarily naughty just take a deep breath and let him get on with it. If his goal is to annoy you and its not working he'll get bored and if he is doing it just because he is playing, let him get on with it as at that age they get bored with the games they are playing quickly anyway.
Even with this advice it probably won't stop bad behaviour it'll just limit it.
Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 10:56 am
All that your lo does mine does too. He's 2 years and 3 months. Eoin has older sisters and a brother to copy naughty things from too.
When he says no to getting out of the bath I tell him I'll put the big tap on him. (Which is the shower head thing). I did do it once with the cold water and he went mad and jumped out. Either that or I say for him to sort himself out and I go out of the bathroom and turn out the light. He hates that too.
When he soaks the place I throw some bath water in his face and he hates that too. I sound like a right cow!!!
I use the naughty step with him and that's great. I give him his warning and when he does it again he goes on it for his two minutes. He has to tell me he's sorry and give me a hug and a kiss then he goes off to play again.
Eoin likes to try and put on his own shoes now. He is very fussy about his coat and will only wear his fleece at the moment and its getting colder. Every time I try and put his warmer coat on he won't do it so that's a battle I'm gonna be up against.
I would use the naughty step if he keeps touching things he shouldn't.
Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 7:38 pm
Hello thank you all for sharing your tips, some useful advice there! Me and hubby have decided to try not to shout (not that we yell at him just raise our voices) and try to ignore the behaviour more. Its just frustrating especially when we need to be somewhere or go to work and he just will not do the simplest of things hes asked and we have to battle to even get his shoes on.
Ignoring the behaviour more all together has worked really well today so I think he is just doing it for reactions. I can't think he is bored because we are constantly keeping him amused with different activities in the house or garden and we go out alot, even if just to feed the ducks or walk the dog. Often his bad behaiour and reluctance to do anything to get ready is shooting himself in the foot cause were often trying to get out to do something fun for him. Reminding him of this doesnt seem to work. Good advice about 'picking your battles though', hopefully some new techniques are gonna work before mummy and daddy go potty Thanks again x
Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 11:42 am
Regarding bath time, I dont have the problem with noah getting out, but I do make things seem exciting lol. Like when I pick him out he like to turn the light off, then its dry and snow time, noah loves snow time ( with the talc) i know its a bit messy but i put the towel down and I let him snow himself down he finds it exciting. But putting on his bed time clothes sometimes is a pain if he is tired but I just tend to grab him and put them on.
If he were to splash constantly, well i would give him a firm warning, then a second chance then out the bath.
If he decided he doesn't want to wear shoes or is playing around I walk out the front door he soon comes crying wanting his shoes on (obviously I wouldn't really just pretend).
It is a patience testing stage, but it will pass.
My beautiful little men filling up my world x
Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 2:42 pm
Hi. Eish, sounds like my LO. My trick is also to try and make things as exciting as possible.
For e.g. if I'm getting him dressed and he has a fit because he wants the green t-shirt with cars on the front on (and its freezing outside), I get him to wear the warmer blue one, by saying very excitedly "look - the BLUE shirt Carlo"... Gets him every time
Otherwise with things like refusing to let me put his shoes on he goes straight to the naughty corner.
Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 10:22 am
I agree with picking your battles. Also make things fun. When Jamie won't sit down for his shoes in the morning we turn it into a race to see who can get them first and things like that. We've also found giving him a choice helps but a choice of two things you want him to do eg 'do you want the red towel or the blue towel when you get out of the bath' so that he feels like he has some control. We count to three as well although we may have to stop because he waits until we get to three until he does something and counts for us