Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 8:29 pm
Post subject: No more nighttime Milkcafe!
Just some help needed really ladies!
Went to see my HV today to get little man weighed and measured and she said 'growing fine, if he's still having a cheeky nighttime feed, you should stop that now'.
You can imagine the look on her face when I told her that he was fed at 7pm, 11.30pm, 1.30am, 4am and 6.30am can't you?!
She was horrified and especially now I am pregnant again she was very stern in telling me that it had to stop and that he was taking the biscuit - which I kind of knew anyway.
Anyhow - she's given us a new bedtime routine to stick to which means bath and feed ealier than usual, so that we have 20-30mins of quiet time before settling him in his cot AWAKE (he usually feeds to sleep, which I know is a no no but I always did it) and then getting him to sleep by patting him or soothing him but not rocking or feeding him - then when he wakes in the night, settle him back to sleep the same way, without feeding, so that he learns to go to sleep and soothe himself and not need feeding, and eventually he'll learn not to wake up in the night at all as he will know it is bedtime only and no food will come.
I get it - I do. But how can I make it easier, for both of us? I'm a real softy but I know I have to be strong to make this work... just after some hints/tips to make me feel less guilty and make him less traumatised by it!
Any advice much appreciated before I embark on what will surely be 1-2 weeks of no sleep for any of us!
Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 9:24 pm
A few things that helped with George. Although slightly different as he had slept through so I knew he could do it but started waking repeatedly at around 6 months and then got worse when we moved him into his own room.
I spent all day with his comfort teddy in my bra and even squirted it with some breastmilk so he had my smell with him. He seem to settle better with the radio on very low and his mobile music on.
Even though we gradually brought his bedtime an hour earlier he still falls asleep on the boob but I do try and stir him slightly an take him off as soon as asleep.
It may well take a couple of weeks but stick with it and it will work.
Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 4:07 pm
May I have been doing this for ages and I can drag the feed out for a few hours, but ultimately Charlie still want's his feed. He's always gasping by the time I give it to him. But he does only have bedtime feed at 6:45, one in between 2-5am and then morning bottle at 7am. Do you wake Samuel for his 11:30 feed or does he just wake for that himself. You could try dropping that one if you wake him for it? A dummy is a great help for soothing them back to sleep. Many people don't agree with them but we couldn't manage without one. Let me know how you get on x
Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2012 10:08 am
Well ladies - I can proudly say that I've now had two nights of non-waking! The first three nights of the routine I didn't dreamfeed and he woke at 4-4.30am each time and cried until I got him up at 6.30am. Then the fourth and last night I gave him a dream feed at 10.30pm-10.45pm, which I pick him up for - he didn't actually wake up, just drank in his sleep, but I have to do that, he doesn't wake to ask for it, but it buys us the extra hours and the last two mornings he's woken up at 6.45-7am So happy it is working!
Thanks Claire for the advice and I'd definitely recommend it Bobski! I had tried a dummy before but like bottles, he won't have them in his mouth - he clamps down on it and screams!
But - seems we've solved it without! Am definitely more in the know for the next baby! xxx
Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2012 8:42 pm
Sorry but I have to add... Have to say I do think it's bad of your HV - 6 months old and not "needing" a night feed? I've always thought if they wake and have a full feed, you can't and shouldn't stop that. Maybe I'm the one who is too soft but George is 9 months old and as I say if he wakes for food, it means he needs it. They are only babies once!! xx
Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 7:23 pm
If I am honest Stacey - our HVs and I haven't always got on. In fact - one of them I refuse to see and if she attempts to coerce me into consulting with her and not the nursery nurse, I walk out. I had a bad experience with her the first time I met her at my home, two days after I got home, and haven't recovered our relationship since. The other one that gave me the advice about sleeping can be quite harsh and I am glad that I have reintroduced a dreamfeed for Samuel now as the routine that she suggested without any feed between 7pm and 7am was TOO long for him, bless his cottons!
I would love to have gone with it for a few more weeks or even months, but being pregnant again, and having such bad sickness last time which I am anticipating this time as well - I just cannot afford to be as tired as I have been, because I can't nap in the daytime, so the night sleep is the only sleep I get and if it is in 3 or 4, 1-2 hour bursts it is just too much. Plus I do think that the longer stretches of sleep at night are making Samuel more settled in the day - he used to nap three or four times a day in 15 minute bursts but now will sleep an hour in the morning and 3-45mins in the afternoon - which is nicer for him as it means we have longer together to play before he tires!
Thank you for your advice too though hun - and love that George is a 'boob boy' x