Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 12:10 am
Post subject: Advice needed
I'm new to all this and my friend advised me to seek advice from others.
I was recently told by my hospital that I may not be able to conceive a baby of my own as have problems with my ovaries, when I came out of hospital I was very confused and only my mum knew. As I had been in a long term relationship and still am with the same partner it was hard to tell him, but when I eventually found the conscience to do so, he took it ok, and told me there was lots of other options and nothing would change us.
As he is adopted himself into his family he sees this as an option, and says hay to him it doesn't matter whether the child is his own or not as he knows how it feels to be adopted and would like to give that to someone.
So anyway, after a year of trying to conceive nothing has happened and it is beginning to make me think that the doctors were right I haven't told him the extent in my concerns and wouldn't know where to start, I also haven't told anyone.
We have been doing all the right things and we haven't been putting stress into it, as I don't want this to over run the relationship.
However although I know that adoption is wonderful and I have already said when were older I would defiantly think of adoption as this means a lot to him, but to me he is able to have his own child and he should be ale to have them, I have told him this and tell him that if he was to find someone that can give him his own baby as much as it would hurt me, I don't want to hold him back.
Has anyone got any advice for me?.
Should I let him be with someone that can give him something that he wants, or do I just ride this out..
Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 7:29 am
do you know exactly what your problems are? there are lots of medical ways that can help you get pregnant, so dont rule it out.
after a year the doctors would usually start doing tests so might be worth gong back to them. also you say you have problems, but without being tested you would never know if your OH's sperm count was ok, so you could tell him to find someone else then he cant have kids anyway
there are ladies on here who have been trying for 2 or 3 years, then suddenly get pregnant. there are also ladies who have been trying longer then that, with no medical problems and still havnt got pregnant, so its not always a case of 'you cant get pregnant'
Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 8:09 am
As Steph said there are options, first thing I would do is find out exactly what it the problem with your ovaries
If its PCOS then there are treatments and women do get pregnant naturally still with that but its just harder to time things right if you don't ovulate every month .
If you're not ovulating at all there may be drugs that can get you ovulating, or if there's something physically wrong with your ovaries and they just don't work then there's always IVF with an egg donor
I can see why you want your husband to have his own biological child but as he's adopted he might be in a better position to realise that he could still love a child very much even if its not his biological child , if that turns out to be the only option
Don't give up hope though as the doctors only say "may not" some women on here have been told flat out that IVF was the only way and then found out they were pregnant naturally
Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 12:24 pm
I went into hospital and was told I had reflective menopause and the left side of my ovaries were webbed,.
My OH has previously had a child with an ex a few years ago but unfortunately she miscarried, so this leads me to think that he would be fine.
Thanks for the advice think I should just speak to him or my mum and see what they say.
Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 12:51 pm
You both need to go to the doctors I think and tell them about your trying for a baby, they will be able to help you with further tests and establish what exactly your level of fertility is. I cant find anything on google about reflective menopause so no idea what that is :/
Youve talked about adoption but you would be entitled to Ivf on the nhs once youve had necessary tests to confirm infertility or a reason for it not happening.
Ttc since December 2007!