Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 2:17 pm
Post subject: Toddler hitting, biting and pulling hair.
My son is 2 and a half and has started to hit and pull hair (he also bites sometimes-usually if someone takes a toy he's playing with!).
He will hit and pull hair for no reason at all which is concerning me. I have noticed that he seems to do it when he gets excited. (He's not doing it nastily) tho obviously it's hugely embarrassing though and needs to stop.
Nursery have pulled me aside saying they are worried about his speech and to contact my health visitor. I have done that and the health visitor came out and did a development check and says he is absolutely fine as he's speaking lots at home. I told nursery this and they have asked can the health visitor observe him at nursery.
I'm sure I'm just panicking but I feel that they are trying to say there's something wrong with him. I really think that it's too young to be putting all this pressure on him at this age.
Just wondered if anyone had any advice or had had anything similar with their toddlers?!
Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 8:00 pm
I cant say much about the hitting as my little boy doesnt do it very often and when he does he gets put in the naughty corner till he says sorry..
With regards to nursery my little boy wouldn't speak to anyone at his nursery till the last couple of week's really and hes been there since Feb. To the point the nursery staff are telling me they actually got him to talk to them as though it's a surprise. Hes warming up now though and started to speak more but hes shy. If he doesn't know the staff well maybe he just doesnt feel comfortable speaking to them?
Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 9:29 pm
Thanks Hun. That's interesting. He's been there since April so maybe he might come out of his shell in a couple of months! He still cries when I leave him so yes maybe he just doesn't feel comfortable yet. Also there's lots going on I suppose so he just feels he doesn't need to talk! Maybe it's just a bit overwhelming!
Maybe I'm just reading into it too much as she kind of dismissed it when I asked if he was behaving saying he's just a bit feisty! They don't use naughty corner/time out with him yet as she says he's too young. I use it at home and he seems to respond to it though.
He's starting to say sorry too when he does hit so it is sinking in slowly!
Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 9:29 pm
My lo is getting a bit like yours with the behaviour. I can't stand it when a child bites. He has bitten his sister a few times and he always pulls her hair, but I think that is him getting his own back in her for constantly being at him. I use the naughty step at home. My childminder says he is fine with her he doesn't like to share but doesn't bite or hit.
With regard to the nursery, if you think his speech is fine and he's had his 2 yr check then I would tell nursery that the Hv is happy with his speech. I have children in our nursery who don't speak to us but as soon as they see their parent they chat away.
Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2012 9:17 am
My friend's son is the same with regards to behaviour and she is at her wits end because she doesn't know where it is coming from, where he 'learnt' it from, and he is the only one who is not responding to the discipline at nursery.
I also think speech is a hard one to measure because when Evie is in a new place she will barely talk, but she is where she is happy she does not stop. Maybe they want the HV to compare his behaviour and speech at nursery with home?
Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 10:45 pm
Thank you. Some great advice.
Yes, I do think its more about him not being comfortable talking at nursery (either because he doesn't know them that well or because there's just too much going on!) or maybe a bit of both! Hes talking lots at home now. The behaviour is a really hard one because he does it in an excited way but I still have to tell him off. The message just doesn't seem to be going in though! although he is now saying sorry after hes hit. I guess it will just take time.