court battle

Post new topic Reply to topic
Maiyasmummy17
Active Member
Active Member
Joined: 24 Feb 2009
Posts: 135
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 12:03 pm 
Post subject: court battle
ok so my ex has sent me a letter from a solicitor basically saying he wants to see our child when hes off. he works 6 days on 4 days off. i have said that he can see her when she doestn have a class (mon-wed) so he can have her on a thurs/fri/sat/sun and pick her up from nursery (mon-fri every pm). he is saying this is unacceptable and i should plan her life around his shift pattern. classes arent important for her education and they shouldnt impact on his time with her as thats more importnant. i think she needs a stable rountine and stability as her behaviour is all over the place and she doesnt know if shes coming or going. hes also tried to make it so she would prefer goin g to his rather than being here almost like competition. he also wants to see her for 2 hours every day after school when she goes. he also wants to have her on xmas day bring her back on 29th and then pick her up on 30th and bring her back jan 1st at 5pm then after he wants to change the xmas routine so it goes back to his work pattern and have her when hes off. he also wants a shared residency order but how is this possible if he doesnt have set days during the week? all i want is for her to have a stable routine and to see her dad when she doesnt have her classes and he can pick her up from nursery and have her overnight. he wants me to go to mediation but when i said this he didnt want to and otherwise hes taking me to court. i feel that he is being quite selfish and not putting her first. has anyone been through anything similar to this?

thanks!!
_________________
rachelle79
Senior Member
Senior Member
Joined: 25 May 2010
Posts: 411
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 1:55 pm 
Post subject:
Yup. My ex tried it on but I soon sent him packing. I received a letter from his solicitor with his List of demands. I simply wrote a letter back and went through every one of his demands with my point of view and how it would affect mia. I stated that I had no problems with him having access whenever he wanted when she was free but that I felt her extra ciricular activities, such as dancing and swimming, were an important part of her education. I said I was concerned about her giving up these activities to fit in with his schedule because his schedule might change and then she would miss out.
They also tried to get me to go to mediation, which I had to pay for! I simply told them I couldn't afford it and had no way to get there.
I haven't heard anything else from the solicitor and that was months ago now. My ex is being much nicer too. I think you just need to sit down and write out your argument and opinions in a calm, reasonable, logical manner. I find it amazing that blokes think they should be able to do as they please when we spend our lives running the kids around and trying to.fit into their schedule.
Good luck x
_________________
Maiyasmummy17
Active Member
Active Member
Joined: 24 Feb 2009
Posts: 135
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 2:39 pm 
Post subject:
yeah this letter says he wants me to go to mediation, funny thing is when i suggested going when we first broke up he ignored now he wants to go and im meant to agree?! to be honest i think he thinks that i am in control and wants to change that. i think even if it does go to court it wouldnt be too bad i personally dont think a judge is going to say ok let maiya give up her classes etc to be with daddy when there are days when she doesnt have a class and she can see him then!
_________________
rachelle79
Senior Member
Senior Member
Joined: 25 May 2010
Posts: 411
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 4:19 pm 
Post subject:
No of course they won't. He won't stand a chance if he does take it to court but maybe if you write a letter it won't get that far. Keep a copy too and then you have proof and can refer back to it. The amount of clubs and extra curricular activities they do only gets worse as they get older, so he better get used to it now lol x
I also had the arguement that he wants to be a dad when it suits him but he wasn't so forth coming when I tried to get CSA out of him x
_________________
Maiyasmummy17
Active Member
Active Member
Joined: 24 Feb 2009
Posts: 135
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 5:00 pm 
Post subject:
exactly ive said that to him and my mum said that and what about when she wants to go to friends after school etc. ha ha omg this sounds exactly the same as me!! he refused to pay for her then when i went to the CSA they gave him 3 chances before they done an attachment to earnings and he done it on the last chance and hes since stopped paying me twice so he has one more chance or it goes to attachment of earnings. ive asked him if he wants to have her sunday night and bring her back monday at 10am but he is refusing to bring her back so now i have to refuse contact until its sorted in court. he could pick her up from nursery and keep her then i have to get an emergency residence order and he has to bring her back to me which will obviously then make him look really bad if he decides to take me to court and his solicitor must surely tell him thats not the right way to go about it!
_________________
rachelle79
Senior Member
Senior Member
Joined: 25 May 2010
Posts: 411
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 7:09 pm 
Post subject:
Sometimes i think the soliciters are just out for the money. Keep a record of all this, when youve offered contact etc and any texts or letters you get. I only went to CSA because he refused to bring her back one time. He had her for the weekend and was supposed to bring her back Sunday night. He decided to bring her back monday morning instead, which meant that she had to get up at stupid o clock for a two hour journey home and then go to school. I warned him that if he didnt bring her back on the Sunday then i would go to the CSA but he ignored me. He also ignored the CSA so i had to bug them until they did an attachment of earnings.

I took great pleasure in replying to the solicitor, I think it was a 5 page letter in the end. Men honestly have no idea lol!! I cant believe he is threatening not to bring her back and then expecting you to still let him have her!! Wally!
_________________
steph181
AskBaby Legend
AskBaby Legend
Joined: 27 Jan 2009
Posts: 6029
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2012 4:33 pm 
Post subject:
With regards to the Nursery make them aware there are contact issues with your ex and under no circumstances is he to pick her up. most nurseries are used to this, and at my nursery I had to fill in on the form if there was any contact issues.

im pretty sure if it goes to court they will make sure arrangements fit around your daughters activities as they look at whats in the best interests of the child
_________________


Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    AskBaby Talk -> Your Life All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  

Community

Popular