DianeBedtime4BabyUSA
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Joined: 05 Dec 2012
Posts: 1

Secret 1: Babies need to learn to soothe themselves
Secret 2: Babies can learn limits
Regarding the above secrets, I ask parents two questions:
(1) how does "love" act when raising a baby?
(2) what does "modesty" mean?
These questions may at first seem irrelevant to getting a baby to sleep but are crucial to babies soothing themselves and recognizing limits is the foundation of sleep training.
Here's the answers:
(1) Love is gentle but firm. It is not indulgent to every kind of cry the baby makes. And love does not indulge every emotion the mother feels. Love does what's best for the baby. And sometimes that means let them cry. And sometimes that means mama cries. Mothers should respond to their yearnings to cuddle baby during the pre-sleep routine, but must be firm by putting the child in its own bed before it falls asleep in her arms. The baby can comfort itself with a small blanket or stuffed animal. There will be crying during the transition, so have short pats and shhh-ing every 15 - 20 minutes and leave the room. Lengthen the crying time a little each time. This is not a time for mother to let sentimentality take over. Stay consistent. If the baby spits up, clean up and gentle it with words and a pat, and but put it back down alone. Watch baby while out of sight.
(2) Modesty means to recognize your limits and that of others. Babies begin to learn this with proper sleep training. Being loving but firm sets limits. If done consistently, baby learns through the months and years to recognize its limits and that of others. These children do not depend on people or substance to soothe them as they grow up. The child grasps the modesty principle behind social norms such as politeness. A child who is not overly indulged understands respect, empathy, and the appropriate actions in different situations. The child will grow to be a kind but strong adult who is well-liked.
Think of the children you like. Aren't they caring, modest, recognizing limits. And don't they grow up to be adults who are successful in society at large? Train your child from infancy. Be firm. Be kind. And they will be, too.