struggling with emotions

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ELP1
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 1:21 pm 
Post subject: struggling with emotions
my lil man was born a week ago after 3 years of ttc and 4 mc. i love him to bits but i was not prepared for the emotions that hit me! i feel scared (i dont know of what) over whelmed and panicy! i keep looking at him and thinking i am responsible for you for the rest of my life.

i cant get my head around the fact i have gone from wanting him to being preg to now having a newbirn!

also really bad sleep deprivation because he does not sleep at night and is very unsettled!

is what i am feeling normal! you never hear people talk about this part!

xx
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hoping4number2
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 1:24 pm 
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Just wanted to say this is totally normal!! I remember looking at my son when he was 2 weeks old and panicking about how we would ever leave the house! All he did was feed and I think no-one or nothing can prepare you for this total life change. Everything is made harder by lack of sleep! I think I crawled through the first 6 weeks with him and then started to come out of the darkness so to speak. He slept better and I'd got the hang of being a new mum by then.

Don't worry at all, if people tell you it's all roses when they first had a baby... They're lying!!!

Good luck, you'll be fine Hun.

Xx
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RacheynHarry
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 1:46 pm 
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Totally normal hun and they say you get the 'baby blues' about a week after the baby is born.

Once everything has calmed down and you can have a bit more sleep then you will feel a bit better. xx
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Clairebell29
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 2:17 pm 
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Completly normal, I felt just like this. I had never held a Baby before George arrived so was so overwhemled and cried a lot. My Mum took George out for me when he was newborn and instead of sleeping like I should have done I just sat and cried. It does get easier I promise.

I am rubbish without sleep and I think thats what got me to begin with. Your body is still recovering from giving birth.

Make sure you eat well as this really helps. Get someone else to make things for you. Take up any offers of help you get and if you don't get offers then ask for it some people feel like they don't want to intrude. Sleep whenever you can.

Are you making an obvious difference between day time and night time? We did this with George and he although he still woke for feeds he started getting the hang of going back to sleep after at around 4-6weeks.
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Weasleywannabe
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 2:24 pm 
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Hello,
Please do not worry. You are doing brilliantly. For the first two weeks of my son's life I barely even knew my own name. I remember changing his nappy for the first time and my hands were shaking so hard I could not hold the cotton wool.

Don't forget that although women having been giving birth since the beginning of time child bitth is still a physically traumatic event. It is not surprising that you feel the way you do.

It gets better and easier, I promise. Just concentrate on loving and caring for your lovely baby and before you know it everything will feel calmer and more relaxed.
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libertytmk
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 3:29 pm 
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Totally normal. I had a c section and a lo that didn't sleep (he slept 3 hours in 24) and found the first 6 weeks really tough and I was so emotional. Then it suddenly got better despite the fact he still didn't sleep. I suspect a lot of it is where your body is trying to heal
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Jup
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 4:22 pm 
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Hi, as the others have said this is completely normal. I can remember those first few weeks and I used to feel bad for feeling the way I did . I love my baby to bits, it took us 4 years to get pregnant so I thought I should be happy ALL the time, but I wasn't and cried about the smallest things. Sometimes I wondered why I wanted a baby so much as I was never going to sleep again and my life had totally changed.

It's hormones and lack of sleep that do this to us.

8 months later I don't cry anymore, I have sleep, and I have started to do some of the things I used to do before baby was born and am now doing new things with baby.

It does help if you can have a few hours to yourself and a lay-in once a week. So take any help that is offered to you.

Honestly you will feel 'normal' again.
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Banoffee
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 5:11 pm 
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As already said completely normal. It took me nearly 5 years to conceive my little man and I still have days where I feel like that. it's a massive change and you are never prepared for parenthood until after they are born. give it time and you will start to feel more at ease. Sleep deprevation is hard but you will find you get used to it and will eventually get more sleep as you get a routine going.

Congratulations to you both.
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ELP1
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 6:43 pm 
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thanks girls it is so nice to know it is all.normal! it does not help that oh is in the forces so.we live 2 hours from family which has made me feel trapped and lost.

i look at him and think omg this is so scary. i feel guilty even thinking it as i have wanted this for so long and did not think in a million years i woukd feel like this¡

i dont feel depressed. i dont really know what i feel which is scary. it has been me and oh for so long and we were a bit crazy and spontaneous and now all of a sudden there is this tiny lil man who we are totally responsible for forever.

as u can tell i am a bit all over the place. i do want ro point out tgat i love him to bits and i am so grateful and i know hoe lucky i am which i guess i am ecen more confused as to why i feel like this. i feel guilty for thinking it¡¡ xx
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pepperpot
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 10:16 pm 
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Yes it is normal. Your situation was similar to ours when we had our first baby, hubby in the forces and family two hours away. I felt very overwhelmed and there never seemed enough hours in the day to do anything other than look after Oliver.

I felt guilty for not knowing what I was supposed to be doing with him and he was our miracle baby after a mc.

It will get easier and it's never easy when you're sleep deprived anyway. Just try and sleep when baby does and try and keep things dark and quiet at night, not many babies are born with their body clocks the right way round. Smile
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michelletv
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Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 5:32 am 
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Hi Elp

You need to try and sleep when baby sleeps, although its not always easy. they grow so quickly and before you know it, the worst is over.
take carexx
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MrsOz
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Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:40 am 
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Give it another week and you will forget what it was like as just the two of you and wonder what you did with all your time before you had him!

Hope you are having a more relaxed day and resting as much as you can so you can enjoy him during his awake times

xx
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