Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 8:34 am
Post subject: Rant alert!!!!
Well I went out on saturday night with the girls as I had arranged for us to go out, so one of the girls I was sat next to I know her really well I said you have to stay out your not going home she said I have a problem I was like what do you mean?!?
She said I am pregnant.... she was drinking wine I said why are you drinking you shouldnt do that she said well I just thought I would have a blow out as her husband doesnt want anymore children she said its an accident so I did talk to her and say they must discuss what they are going to do properly she wants it and to be fair she was ttc without his consent for a bout 6 months before she told me she had stopped (so I think she was maybe trying and hopeing for a response better than what she has got they already have 2)
I literally felt like
I just wanted to scream at her why you, why not me who has no children who is working her effing ass off to get her weight into a reasonable limit to get the go ahead for ivf.
She then went onto say (as she knows all about our situation) that she thought it may be good as we could go through pregnancy together
I said oh I dont think so my oh doesnt want to go ahead with the treatement I dont know why it just fell off my tongue I think because I was so mad about it all, after we left the resturant I just couldt face talking to her at all I was so sad I ended up crying my best friend came with me to calm me down
I just cant beleive it I am getting to the point that its beginining to really really [*CENSORED*] me off..
She is massivley overweight and drinks every night bottle of wine eats what she wants etc and woops look a bfp
Me I work so effing hard to try and get into shape try eveything possible and nothing!
I just couldnt beleive she told me and in such a way over drinking wine!
Am I wrong to feel so mad/sad/fed up?
Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 2:01 pm
As frustrating and angry as it makes you feel just let it go. You can not go through life getting annoyed or angry by irresponsible people. Keep your distance from her and focus on your life. Anger and stress are guaranteed to hinder pregnancy. so many women fall pregnant when drunk!!
I learnt long ago to let things go and to not let things eat away at me.
Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 2:01 pm
Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 2:24 pm
I think thats it claire I am not really arsed about her being pg I really am not, I just found it really insensitive to say it in that way and to me she knows what we have been through and how bad things have been
I dont really hold onto things and dont really let things eat me up but I found in really difficult to be told in that way.
My point was more how peed off I am at getting at literally trying everything and really trying to get fit healthy and I am working really hard at that so it hopefully means a consultant can decide if they see us as being right to even have the opportunity at going for ivf yet other people can just be irresponsible and it just happens I just get really really fed up!
Claire he isnt saying no but I sense from him there may be a serious talk about it when we do get the appointment
He hasnt asked me at all his reply the other day was well we dont try very hard do we and thats what the plan should be bd every day etc... I am like I just give up I really do, his attitude is it will happen when its meant to!
I am so scared about IVF myself after seeing it not working and the problems people can have the last thing I need is him saying he doesnt want to do it, I doubt it but at the minute I think he would, I dont want to push him on it I want to have a nice christmas togehter and then a holiday then hopefully we will be called in for the next step and he will be fine (which I think he will once we go together and see the cons)
How are you claire are you doing another fet in Jan? xxx
Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 2:49 pm
He is probably just scared Terri, its a big thing to realise and come to terms with that it just isnt happening. I think there just comes a point where you have to do whatever it takes though. It would be a foolish thing for him to turn around and not want to go for it. Being scared can do funny things to people. Once you actually get started it doesnt feel pressured or anything I found it a relief even though it didnt work. x
Ttc since December 2007!
Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 3:16 pm
I understand what you are saying. only one thing for it become an alcoholic couch potatoe!!
I wish I had a magic wand for all you ladies still TTC because when I was TTC my little man I'd have eaten a kangaroos testicle if it meant getting that BFP! We also forget the strain it has on our OH's too!!
Good luck ladies.
Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 4:42 pm
Haha I dont actually think I could do the alcohol thing but eating all day every day yes please
I think now claire that I agree you have to try these things as after 3.5 years of ttc and nothing surely the odds are against you?! 41 attempts?? if you understand what I mean?!? really no way thats just coincedence?!
I am pretty sure he will go along with it and we will if of course we get offered the treatment take it, I am jsut fed up now we should have got referred back in April but our stupid local hospital screwed up so we are 3-4 months behind what we could have been already!!
I just want to get the letter and get the appointment so I know how long I feel in limbo!!
I am sure he will be fine he knows why we are being referred its like he chooses to not want to talk about it to much which is good but then when I get things like saturday night I cant talk to him as he just sees it as so what.. then again I think thats just a mans way!
I can honestly say I am not bothered about her pg at I really am not I am quite ok at the minute but it just pees me off when it happens so fast etc and then theres us we look after ourselves and want it more than anything in the world and nothing xx
Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 7:31 pm
oh what a women eh i literally get so angry at people drinking and smoking when pg. I mean there are people that do everything by the book and have a mc and then she will drink all the way through and have a healthy baby, i mean seriously how does this work? x
p.s i hope your referral comes through soon hun xxx