Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2016 10:56 am
Post subject: Still remember
It's terrible to live with such feellings. But I still live. I remember everything! I can't get rid of my memory. I still have in my mind, that my baby will move in the abdomen or knock with his foot. Was I able to hear his heartbeat or is this only my imagination?
Now I have nothing.
I want to adopt. But I am afraid that I can't substitute my own not born child.
Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2016 11:31 am
I'm sorry...I know the feeling.
First...you need to grieve the loss of a bio child. That may take some time, and that's ok. Don't rush. Adoption isn't for the faint of heart...you and DH need to be 100% on board to explore adoption. That can only be done once you get through the infertility stuff.
Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 8:20 am
Counseling helps me a little bit with this.
I understand that I need to separate my need/desire of being pregnant to my need/desire of being a parent, bit it is so difficult. I'm still grieving the idea that I would not be genetically related to my child.
Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 9:52 am
My friends are also seeking adoption in part due to infertility. However, they were lucky enough to have been able to get pregnant with fertility treatments and have one biological child who just turned 2. And they still talk about adopting a child.
Don't give up, nobody knows what will be tomorrow.