Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 2:58 pm
Post subject: just want bit of a rant
Hi ladies (no need reply, im sure we all feel the same but having a bit of a moan day)
I posted yesterday about wanting to get a reversal or would it be better to try IVS as im 39 in May thanks for all the advice x
I feel soooooooooo angry and upset/regretful as i feel i was in no frame of mind to make such a huge discision i was suffering a.n.d and had been scared to death with talk of expected extensive bleeding as was 3rd CS and warnings about having a fourth ect
i can't even remember signing anything? im so annoyed and let down by my experiences
sorry rant over
Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 7:07 pm
Post subject: thankyou
Hi thank you soo much for the ((HUGS)), Sorry i dont know your story but im really sorry to read of your loses x
Wishing you all the luck in the world in your future attemps x x
I must sound v ungrateful as i do have children, but i do honestly feel i was treated wrongly and someone should have made sure i was in the correct mindframe/had a long time to think about it before going ahead with the Sterilization, its all a blur tbh..
I wish i could fight them as your wouldnt let anyone sign a form for any other major lifechanging op without thorough consultation and time to think first
Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 8:37 am
Kerry I totally feel your pain on this one , as I literally had the form handed me on the way to theatre, I was actually being prepped at the time and I'd been given some pain killer directly into my drip without my consent that made me feel almost drunk, I couldn't even see the numbers to ring my OH and yet she thought it was fine for me to sign this consent form and have been told since that would never happen over here now (mine was in germany as my OH was in the forces ) the NOW tells me that they did do it over here as well up until recently and it is disgusting that they make it sound like you're getting a 2 for 1 deal or something and we might as well while we're there and that they're doing you a favour etc. !
I'd never even had it mentioned to me before that night and I obviously hadn't planned it as I'd planned a natural birth ! The english army midwives at the time said I should have sued the hospital but I was told that sterilisations weren't reversible then (11yrs ago in March) plus I had a baby in special care, was in a foreign country and didn't then speak the language and had the other kids to look after so I left it,which I now regret as I thing getting the fact that it was wrong acknowledged would have helped me deal with it but this was recent for you , and you have a good case , I would do as Angel said and speak to your GP about it , I'd get copies of all the paperwork, the consent for it was probably on the c section consent form, as mine was ,the fact they used scare tactics as well to push you into it is totally out of order , as if you hadn't had severe bleeding with the others there's no reason to suspect you would for a fourth ,
I'd personally like to see this op banned full stop, the doc who gave me the results in October was lovely and said she never arranges sterilisations while women are pregnant, she won't do them at c section and never asks women if they want one if only more doctors were like her then there would be a lot less women in the reversal forums As many of us have been sterilised during c sections
Maybe getting a reversal on the NHS would help take some of the anger away ? They won't pay for IVF as you have children but will sometimes do the reversal if you have a good enough case, at least then if you didn't have to pay for it then if you did later need IVF anyway to conceive you haven't paid out twice ?
I would say though my anger (and depression) about feeling less of a woman because of the sterilisation was part of what drove me to need to be "fixed" and have the reversal over IVF , which I now regret doing as there are no guarantees with the reversal ,with hindsight IVF might well have been the better route to get to have a baby which after all was what i wanted most of all but I let the way I felt cloud my judgement and now i'm neither fixed or have a baby , so my advice to anyone else would be try and seperate the two if you can, you have a right to feel angry and upset and fight to get them to admit they were wrong and to put it right, but if what you want even more than that is to get pregnant again then IVF might be the better option , Good luck xxx
Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 10:13 am
Post subject: thanks for all the advice
Hi, thank you so much for taking the time to reply
I actually feel quite upset reading it reminding myself that in my right mind (like now, as at the time i was also suffering anti natal depression, which i feel stems back to the first up CS) like i send i dont even remember being asked .. Sorry but i feel so so angry and let down for many reasons, i feel they took the joy of having a natural birth then the experience left me depressed and to top it i feel in a way violated/tricked/robbed into being sterilized without any imo real consent..
At the time i was just happy i had no complications during my SC and was like in a dream/not myself due to the depression (i actually cried all through my CS and shook with worry re what i had been told and my frame of mind) i just wanted to get my baby get out of there and forget it never happened..
TBH i think i should have got therapy not just handed anti D`s!, i tried talking but felt no one really understood and i should just block it away and concentrate on my new baby and kiddies..
I would like to fight them but i feel it will bring up all stresses from the past and i should just concentrate on my discission re IVF or reversal..
Sorry i went on, it was like opening a shaken pop bottle it all shoots out lol til you firmly put the lid back on..
Im sorry your attemps didnt work out and for all your problems/bad luck that accured xx