Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 11:46 am
Post subject: Homebirth with second baby?
Just a quick one really. What do I do with Ava? Can i keep her at home. I dont really want OH preoccupied with her leaving me alone to give birth but what if i go into labour in the middle of the night.. is it really ok to wake people up to come and get her and what if they dont hear their phone? Really worried about it xx
Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 4:17 pm
my friend just had a home birth with her 3rd child. She asked people if they would come and collect her 2 (almost 4 and 11 month old) everybody she asked said yes. Even i did and live 4 hours way and knew id not make it. (my friend has very qick labours-longes being 3 hours)
Im sure if you ask your friends and family they wouldn't mind what time of day or night it is.
The only thing i would say is make sure you have LOADS of back up. My friend had 17 people and ALL but 1 couldnt get to her, even then the lady had to get her mum to help coz she had 2 of her own children and couldnt fit my friends 2 car seats in her car.
If its i the night would your dd stay asleep? I know my friend said hers wouldnt but my god daughter was at her dads house when his partner gave birth, she went downstairs in the morning to discover her half sister.
Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 7:50 am
I'd have a plan for all situations, I didn't bother when I was having a home birth my kids had even asked if they could be there ( although i wasn't sure how comfortable I would have been with that ) and then when my waters went at 1:40am I thought this is good the kids will sleep through it, only problem was just over an hour later the midwives discovered she was breech , cue me being bundled into an ambulance and off to hospital and a mad scramble to find someone who lived close enough, had a car and actually would answer their phone which was an issue for us and meant my OH had to wait for them and I was at the hospital alone and feeling vunerable and being pushed into a c section !
I had been totally in denial about having to go to hospital so i just wasn't prepared but it can happen for all sorts of reasons so its worth being prepared for that, or if your labour was in the day time you might be more comfortable with your daughter going somewhere else so you don't feel you need to be quiet
All my sisters other 6 were at home when she had her home birth with her last, it was at night though and none of them woke up, I've seen people have young children in the room whilst giving birth on home birth programmes, but for me I'd be worried a very young child might be confused and distressed and I've seen a few were it was night time and the other kids woke up in the morning with not a clue as to what had gone on
So I'd probably have a few people on stand by either to come to the house just in case she wakes if its night time, or to play with her and maybe take her out if its a daytime labour and then play it by ear when it happens xx
Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 9:28 am
The only person I Can ask is my auntie really. I dont trust anyone to be in the house while I give birth, I know my auntie is the only one that wont think im a wimp when im screaming. I have decided I want Ava at home though just because if something happens to me I will want to say goodbye (morbid I know but that would break my heart if I couldnt say goodbye)
I have this horrible image that something is going to go really wrong though.. dont know why I just do. I think this baby will probably end up in a csection just because i was lcky enough to have a natural birth first time and so many women end up having to have them
Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 9:51 am
no reason why it should end in a section I had 4 natural births all quick no complications etc. etc. my sister had 7 the only reason I had a section with number 5 was because I had PP which was just bad luck, as was number 6 being breech but even then my labour up to that point was going really well that was after my first section as well i'm sure i could have had a natural birth again without interference, just think about all those women in countries were home birth is the norm who have lots of babies with no complications, its what our bodies are designed for and you're at highest risk for a c section statistically with a first baby, once you've given birth naturally once the chances of having a section in subsequent births is much less
You might find you're calmer this time as well because you know what to expect and don't feel the need to scream , plus its generally quicker overall and you don't tend to have hours and hours of that pre labour stage where you're all sore and getting all the period type pain that just drains you , I think its normal to be worried though I was every time xx
Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 10:09 am
Well im going to try hypnobirthing this time but i just rememeber how painful transition was and the only way i could deal with that was to scream lol hopefully it will be less painful this time but i have a feeling it will hurt more, braxton hicks were never paimful with ava but this time they are like those early labour period like pains.. not sure if thats normal for a second pregnancy but they domt seem to be doing any harm xx
Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 10:20 am
I think transitions a massive shock first time round and a lot of women feel out of control at that point, but second time round you know what it means and that you can get ready to push and thats much quicker normally second time round , for me it was over an hour first time and about 2 or 3 pushes max second time can't really comment on more or less painful as my second was massively quicker (23 minutes from 2cms to giving birth) and much more intense, but with 3 and 4 which were about 4 hrs each from first contraction to birth I found them much easier to cope with I also knew once I got to the transition stage that it was almost over so that helped a lot with staying calm I did do my own version of self hypnosis with my first and 3 and 4 though and it really helped me stay calm (along side the gas and air ), my 2nd was just too quick by the time i realised things were happening I was giving birth I've heard the classes are good though and BH's being painful seems to be normal in subsequent pregnancies , I know from my 3rd onwards I had them a lot sometimes from quite early on, and they did hurt xx
Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 8:53 pm
IMO, I would arrange for someone to take LO somewhere else.
If she sees you are in excruciating pain (and I'm sure you won't be able to hide it!) she may get really distressed. The pain of childbirth is not something you can explain to a small child and she may not be able to cope with seeing you like that.
You can't guarantee that she will sleep through it if it's in the night, and if it's the day then she'll be awake anyway. Also, if there are complications, and you have to be hurriedly (SP?) transferred to hospital by ambulance, that may also upset her.
If it was me, the fear of harming her with what she would see/hear would far outweigh any need of mine to have her in the same house.
15.08.09 Gone but never forgotten
An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth, then whispered as she closed the book "Too beautiful for Earth"
Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 11:17 pm
I wanted a me birth this time but hubby wasn't completely comfortable with it. But if I was going to be at home I would have had someone take my daughter away, she is only 3 and in her own words she thinks that her baby sister is going to just 'pop out' so she just wouldn't understand all of the pain and panic etc and she is such a caring little girl I think it would really upset her to see me like that.
How far away from your hospital do u live? If I had concerns like you have, bad feelings etc, then I would be reconsidering if a home birth would be better or just make me more stressed?
Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 2:34 pm
I had my mum to take my son. Obviously had no idea when it was all going to happen but I did end up going into labour early hours and my son was still in bed. I was able to manage contractions easy but when we realised that it was happening very quick whe rung my mum who came round to collect my son. Only he left the house as our daughter was entering the world so heard me in transition and pushing her out as it all happened VERY quick.
Apparently he was very panicked by what he heard (my son had once whitnessed me in pain and rushed off in hospital for surgery on my ectopic and was very distressed by it ) but daddy reassured him and said mummy was feeling a bit sick (we'd all just had a sickness bug that week lol)
Round at nanna's house she had told him his sister was on her way and he soon forgot about what he'd heard and excitement took over him
Not sure he'd have coped well seeing me though.
Are you planning on having your auntie take her to her's or having her remain at home?
Every child is different though, but you really don't want you and your OH worrying about your daughter if she does get distressed in anyway
Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 10:24 pm
Well the plan was to get someone to come round and look after her if she needed it. Obviously I dont want her getting distressed but as morbid as it sounds, what if I died and never got to say goodbye? Shes the most important person to me. It chokes me at the thought.
And I have no reason for having a horrible feeling, there is nothing medically wrong apart from the fact i hemmoraged with ava but they got it under control.
Im sure Ive said it a million times on this site too, I'm scared of hospitals so home birth is the only option.
Ava is also overly caring and I think she would be upset if she saw me in pain.. if I knew for certain everything woud be ok then I would be happy for her to go elsewhere for the night.
Oh i know im being silly.. i have no idea why have I have this irrational fear that I'm going to die xx