Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 10:53 am
Post subject: potty training problem
I think I posted a while back how the boys won't sit on the potty without a nappy. So til now potty training was on hold. But apart from this fear, Craig seems really ready so I stuck some pull ups on him this morning (thought I'd ease him in) and said to tell me if he needs to go. He kept saying "potty tomorrow" but I said "no today". So after that I said do you need pee pee? And he didn't say anything so I suggested he try. He got the potty and went over to it but as soon as I pulled down the pull ups, he started screaming "nappy on" and no matter how I tried he refused to sit down. I feel like I'm never going to. Get them on the toilet at this rate Any experiences or advice?
Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 11:16 am
I have the exact same problem with my 2 and half yr old boy he won't go near the Potty so got him a loo seat with cars on and that hasn't worked I was thinking the same as u until the hv said if hes getting in such a state over it then he isn't ready and forcing him will make him worse and scared to go. My 5 yr old girl was so easy and I just expected my boy to be too but no complete opposite. It's hard having two in nappies and bloody expensive!
Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 12:20 pm
I'm finding that Thomas the tank engine pants are working well because he wants to wear them. Also never had any success with him on the potty, literally wouldnt sit on it at all so he went straight to the toilet with a little trainer seat on. X
Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 12:47 pm
in my opinion (from experience with lo at 2.5 yrs old) you have to put the cotton pants on
so they know what it feels like to have wet pants on. They are not going to like it but it
is something have to learn and deal with.
I built the idea up about being a big girl over a week took her shopping for her new pants she chose what she wanted. And over three weeks she is now dry in the day and now goes straight tot hte toilet. Yes we have been lucky but i have had episodes with using pullups etc
but you are just confusing them.
The only advice i can give you is go cold turkey if it doesnt work for a few days then try again in a few weeks. It will click i supported my friend with the same problems and in 4-5 weeks of consistency her lo is now dry.
Its extremely hard work but so worth it.
Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 3:43 pm
Thanks for the replies everyone. Tbh I don't think they would take much notice if I took them to pick their own pants lol not enough to care if they got wet or not. But sue, I will give ur idea of going cold turkey a go and try getting him right onto the toilet rather than the potty. Once I get the ball rolling with him I can try encouraging Liam (who so far hasn't shown much interest) x
Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 8:01 pm
Not advice but I'd say try not to worry. Oliver is 3 and a half and still not completely cracked it!
Thanks hun, how does he get on at nursery? That is one of my main concerns tbh. They start on Feb 19th so I was praying I could have them at least dry during the day by then. My mum is forever telling me how the nursery will frown upon them still being in nappies and if they were to poo at nursery I would need to go over which I don't doubt as its only a council run nursery for 2 and a half hours a day. Also I don't want the teachers thinking I haven't bothered to potty train them.
Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 8:23 pm
Oliver has been in Private nursery since he was 5 and a half months. I send him in pants and they make sure to take him to the toilet between every 30-60 mins however poos are a different story and he definitely hasn't cracked that. He probably poos himself around 3 times per week at nursery and wees himself 1-2 times per week. Nursery are totally fine with it, I just make sure there is at least 2 changes of clothes in his bag along with some wipes.
Thats just kids at the end of the day, I can't stop now as he has been in pants for 6 months. Some kids get it in a week some take a year, I get so frustrated at times but try to not let it show as its not like he is doing it on purpose (I do wonder sometimes though!). Nursery have said they've known some 4 year olds to go to school in nappies (although this is rare) and some primary schools may refuse to take them if they are 4 and in nappies but they have no choice once the child is 5 as school is then mandatory.
I'd say if he hasn't steadily grown out of nappies by the age is 3 then do what we did and decide that the day after his 3rd birthday the nappies go (except at bed time - make sure you whip the nappy off as soon as they up, no exceptions as its so hard to get lazy for an easy life). You'll go through a mountain of washing but it eases off after a bit as long as you take him to the toilet regular and you will throw away loads of pants (sometimes that poo is not worth the cleaning hassle). You will get there. Promise.
Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 8:24 am
I never used pull ups for toilet training as I thnk they can just create confusion, most kids see them as still being nappies and just carry on as they were
Pants with pictures on worked well for us, even if they don't want to pick some out they might still want to wear them and once they're in pants they feel different so i think they're more aware of when they need a wee, with boys i'm sure they're aware that they need a wee sooner than girls as well, but all mine seemed to be lazier about going So at first it was a matter of watching them closly and taking them to the toilet as soon as I suspected they were about to wee, they often seem to grab that area just before
I did find the toilet with a step and seat better than a potty though, a lot of boys seem to find something really amusing about standing up to wee , although they're not very good shots at first
You may well have to be firm though about no nappies during the day now though if they're getting attached to their nappies, just explain its a big boy thing the same as you would with getting rid of bottles or dummies
Also do they see adults or other kids using the toilet ? As that can be very helpful as kids learn best from copying , I know my oldest was the hardest to toilet train and the others would want to try because they'd seen the others use the toilet , so even if they don't get it just yet being at nursery might help
Reward charts can be good too, I used stars and so many stars meant a little toy , like a car or some crayons or similar , I don't mind using bribery if it works
Good luck xx
Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 9:53 am
Hun don't be too hard on yourself, I had a nightmare time (posted about it quite a few times in the One-Five Years section). I started properly training her in August last year (I'd been trying her with no nappy on and off for a couple of months prior to that).
The hardest part for me was getting her to understand what a wee actually was. Sounds really silly but she had to learn to understand what that urge meant. Then when we got to that stage and she new she needed a wee I then had to stop her from just weeing all over the place (she did very good at telling me when she'd done a wee very quickly ha!).
It took me what felt like forever but by the end of November she was dry. I'm having a terrible time at the mo trying to get her to poo on the loo. She insists on a pull-up, I havent had her in nappies during the day since about May last year as I wanted her to get used to the idea of having to pull pants up and down to go to the toilet but like the other girls have said, she just uses them as a nappy so they really don't offer any kind of benefit and if I were you steer clear from them.
I found in the end that just putting her in knickers and leggings helped so much more. We had an accident or 2 but I was constantly telling her that if she wet herself everyone would see her pants and leggings were wet and they'd know so she had to tell me if she needed the toilet! It seems really mean but it really did work and touch wood we really haven't had that many accidents. Even when she refuses to poo she holds it in (which is a total nightmare in itself as I've had terrible trouble with and constipation over the last 18 months and this makes it worse!) until she can get a pull-up on.
As for nursery, my LO goes to a private one 3 days a week now and they mentioned to me coming up to her 3rd birthday last November that when she came back after the Christmas break she'd be in the big girls and boys room which has its own little loo block and they like to children in that room to be able to use the toilet however I think this might be because its a private nursery as my friends LO is going to a school nursery and they don't mind that he's still not completely out of nappies. Do you know what nursery the boys will be going to in February? To stop you from working yourself up extra why not pop in for a chat and explain your trying to get them out of nappies and ask if they need to be completely out of them before they can start. My nursery was actually great and offered to help me and roll out whatever I was doing at home. You'll also find that once they start nursery they'll be seeing the other kids going to the loo and will prob learn a lot from them and want to 'join in' if you get me, I think this was a big help with my LO.
You sound like your in the same boat I was, I hated toilet training and dreaded it from when she was born but really hun you will get ther (if I did then anyone will haha!).
Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 11:07 am
Thanks for all the advice everyone. Really appreciated, I'll be taking it all on board.
Lilly thanks for the reassurance. I have been the same as you, from they were born the thing I dreaded most was potty training.
I wish you could just wake up one day and find them sitting on the toilet haha x
Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 11:55 am
I wish you could just wake up one day and find them sitting on the toilet haha x
I'm NEVER going through this again....no more babies or puppies EVER!!!!!!
I know, at times I get broody and think I want another baby but times like this make me think again lol x