Dreading taking clomid again

Post new topic Reply to topic
KazM
AskBaby Star
AskBaby Star
Joined: 21 Aug 2011
Posts: 2132
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 3:07 pm 
Post subject: Dreading taking clomid again
Took it for the first time this cycle and got hot flushes which I could easily cope with...
The main issue was the moods. Day 8 was the peak of it going from Tearful to depressed to aggressive(verbally, not violently) and to be honest it was emotionally exhausting on me AND the husband.(He actually said to me at one point "I want you off those tablets, I want my wife back").

Thing is, we need to up our game. Any advice on how to persuade him on this? I've tried talking to him about it and not talking to him about it. They're all up for the sex until it becomes important aren't they?

Pretty sure af about to arrive too so will need to make decision on this^.
_________________
TTC1stbaby
Senior Member
Senior Member
Joined: 08 Jan 2012
Posts: 295
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 4:55 pm 
Post subject:
You might try explaining to him that if he doesn't let you take clomid that you may still experience the same moods realizing that you can do something to help your chances but aren't for him. I would be afraid that if I were in your situation each month that I wasn't doing something to help myself because of his request I would become angerier and hurt more and even a bit resentful that he could be holding you back a little. I go through several moods a month and my husband has come to realize this is a new norm. He hates the fact that I beat myself up about not conceiving and has helped me cut down on things that could increase added stress. I think there are times we as women overlook our husbands needs, insecurties and their strengths when we ttc. Alot of men really do suffer in silence bc they feel it is their duty to protect us from anything negative even if it is their own fears.

I would reccomend a weekend away with him if you can afford it and toward the end of your weekend just sit down and explain to him that you love him more than anything but you desperately want a child. During your weekend try to focus on just the two of you and let him know you love him. I know my DH worries abt me but I have come to realize that even though he isn't moody, he worries abt my disappointment and tries to hid so much of his own frustations from me. He worries abt financing our ttc journey and has so much on his own shoulders. When I am weepy and angry it makes him feel like he is failing me. We are still ttc but the last month I have been focusing more on him. I have been more attentive making him special snacks, watching sports with him, buying new lingirie. Simple things. It doesn't take much. He has started taking me on dates when we have a mutual day off (nothing fancy as we are trying to save money but it's sweet). It saves dishes needing washed Smile He'll massage my back and shoulders if we are watching tv. It has really helped my moods realizing that yes the medicenes make me wacky but I shouldn't take it out on him and that I may not be blessed with a baby but I have been blessed with an amazing man and I have been making sure he knows it. I am not the only one on this ttc journey. Everyone around me has been commenting how much more relaxed I have been lately.

Hope this helps. I know how it feels. Wishing you baby dust!! Smile
susanjosh
AskBaby Star
AskBaby Star
Joined: 22 Mar 2009
Posts: 2250
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 5:17 pm 
Post subject:
I feel your pain... I hate clomid , but on the other hand love it.

Right now I have a cold so my immune system is down , a side effect I get is mouth ulcers and this month I seem to have more, cuts to my lips and a sore throat .
It's that bad that I've phoned in sick to work, I'm currently in bed . The hot flushes are horrible .
My headaches aren't too bad, ie not constant lately, but this month it's been very sore on 1 side for about 10 seconds .

On the other hand though I love it as it makes me ovulate ... I would do anything .

I have took it for over a year now
_________________
Least I have my fur babies x
DL05
AskBaby Legend
AskBaby Legend
Joined: 30 Jun 2010
Posts: 13374
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 5:21 pm 
Post subject:
Kaz I feel your pain, not taking clomid, but the dong quai seems to have made me a lunatic around ov time this month maybe because it made me ov super early so i'm presuming it must have really boosted my Oestrogen Question was totally fine up until just before my surge was starting then turned into a moody b*tch Embarassed Laughing had to bite my lip a lot ! Shocked Laughing and was either wanting to cry or start an arguement all weekend Rolling Eyes
I agree with TTC1stbaby though, if you don't take it you could end up moody around ov time anyway because you feel like you haven't done all you can Confused its a tricky one, but because you know how it affects you can you not try and agree that you'll try and not snap and if you do then he'll agree not to snap back so it doesn't escalate Question
and if you feel something building then walk away and have a few minutes to yourself ,
I blame stupid Oestrogen Rolling Eyes , for some women it just seems to have a bad effect unfortunately , but if you know its going to happen and you can be prepared for it, then it might not be so bad this month Question
I know what you mean though about them wanting all the fun but none of the side effects and it is easy to start to resent them for it , maybe you could plan some nice couple stuff to do this month for around ov time Question
Things that make you feel closer Question xx
KazM
AskBaby Star
AskBaby Star
Joined: 21 Aug 2011
Posts: 2132
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 5:34 pm 
Post subject:
Thanks for the reply. Well AF has arrived so looks like I'm going to have to talk to him tonight as tomorrow would be the day I need to start taking it again.
That's the trouble - on the one hand the moods affected both of us - on the other hand, it's my body and my choice as I see it.

Maybe it will be better this month as won't take me/us by surprise. We will chill out in Feb when we have a week off together - can't wait 'til then to have the discussion though.

Just going to have to find ways to get him to do the every other day thing. Rolling Eyes Kind of essential to our baby dreams. We'll get referred for IVF in October if not but would rather it didn't come to that.
_________________
DL05
AskBaby Legend
AskBaby Legend
Joined: 30 Jun 2010
Posts: 13374
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 5:39 pm 
Post subject:
Kaz there's always a way to get them to do the necessary Wink Laughing and the best way is make them think it's their idea , flirty texts, best underwear , and being nice to them ,I think sometimes we forget men can just switch it on and off either so a bit of romance or just good old flirting all evening can work wonders Smile
Good luck with the clomid chat, i'm sure he'll be fine if you tell him how much it means to you xx
TTC1stbaby
Senior Member
Senior Member
Joined: 08 Jan 2012
Posts: 295
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 5:45 pm 
Post subject:
Good luck!!! Smile
KazM
AskBaby Star
AskBaby Star
Joined: 21 Aug 2011
Posts: 2132
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 5:48 pm 
Post subject:
susanjosh wrote:
I feel your pain... I hate clomid , but on the other hand love it.

Right now I have a cold so my immune system is down , a side effect I get is mouth ulcers and this month I seem to have more, cuts to my lips and a sore throat .
It's that bad that I've phoned in sick to work, I'm currently in bed . The hot flushes are horrible .
My headaches aren't too bad, ie not constant lately, but this month it's been very sore on 1 side for about 10 seconds .

On the other hand though I love it as it makes me ovulate ... I would do anything .

I have took it for over a year now


I didn't realise it lowered your immune system.. I've been off work with a chest infection and also had a Bartholins cyst. That would probably explain it as I don't normally get ill.

As you say, at least it makes us ovulate. Only any good if you can get the BDing in though. Rolling Eyes

Hope you feel better soon.
_________________
KazM
AskBaby Star
AskBaby Star
Joined: 21 Aug 2011
Posts: 2132
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 5:52 pm 
Post subject:
DL05 wrote:
Kaz I feel your pain, not taking clomid, but the dong quai seems to have made me a lunatic around ov time this month maybe because it made me ov super early so i'm presuming it must have really boosted my Oestrogen Question was totally fine up until just before my surge was starting then turned into a moody b*tch Embarassed Laughing had to bite my lip a lot ! Shocked Laughing and was either wanting to cry or start an arguement all weekend Rolling Eyes
I agree with TTC1stbaby though, if you don't take it you could end up moody around ov time anyway because you feel like you haven't done all you can Confused its a tricky one, but because you know how it affects you can you not try and agree that you'll try and not snap and if you do then he'll agree not to snap back so it doesn't escalate Question
and if you feel something building then walk away and have a few minutes to yourself ,
I blame stupid Oestrogen Rolling Eyes , for some women it just seems to have a bad effect unfortunately , but if you know its going to happen and you can be prepared for it, then it might not be so bad this month Question
I know what you mean though about them wanting all the fun but none of the side effects and it is easy to start to resent them for it , maybe you could plan some nice couple stuff to do this month for around ov time Question
Things that make you feel closer Question xx


Thanks for reply Nat. I am just going to have to talk to him about it. He claimed he forgot. Will talk to him about making sure we BD enough too(tonight when there's nothing to be done so he knows but the pressure isn't on him then and there). I think I will take a few mins to myself when needed but pre-warn him now that it might happen.
_________________
KazM
AskBaby Star
AskBaby Star
Joined: 21 Aug 2011
Posts: 2132
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 5:59 pm 
Post subject:
DL05 wrote:
Kaz there's always a way to get them to do the necessary Wink Laughing and the best way is make them think it's their idea , flirty texts, best underwear , and being nice to them ,I think sometimes we forget men can just switch it on and off either so a bit of romance or just good old flirting all evening can work wonders Smile
Good luck with the clomid chat, i'm sure he'll be fine if you tell him how much it means to you xx


Yes, there's one surefire way to get him in the mood - but I've heard it's not good for his swimmers as saliva kills sperm...lol(Not that that makes it obvious what I'm talking about or anything..lol) Mind you, half a chance is better than no chance I suppose!

That's the trouble, all I seem to do is tell him what it means to me and try and guess what it means to him/what he's thinking/what he's feeling because he doesn't talk about it. All I could get out of him when we thought he was infertile was "well it is what it is". Sure that's just a venus/mars thing.
_________________
DL05
AskBaby Legend
AskBaby Legend
Joined: 30 Jun 2010
Posts: 13374
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 8:17 am 
Post subject:
Men are hopeless with the feelings side of things aren't they Rolling Eyes
I thought my OH wasn't bethered when he just said well never mind maybe next month when I told him AF had arrived, then he suddenly stopped drinking altogether and started trying to be much more healthy going for runs and stuffactually taking his vits without me reminding him Shocked when I asked him about it he admitted he'd done some research and thought his "boys" might not be up to the job so he was worried about it too, but was just hiding it better than me Rolling Eyes Laughing
I don't know why they feel they can't just tell you Rolling Eyes
I wouldn't worry about the saliva thing if its just to get him in the mood , thats more if things went all the way its an issue Laughing like they say on the SA sample letter to not get the sample that way Shocked Laughing but just to "warm him up" should be fine Laughing xx
KazM
AskBaby Star
AskBaby Star
Joined: 21 Aug 2011
Posts: 2132
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 9:20 am 
Post subject:
Haha, didn't read his SA letter. Didn't know that's what they said. Laughing (We knew not to do it, just not that they wrote it down).

He will be pleased he still gets his "warm-up" then and at least I have a trick that works!

I chatted to him last night. Pre-warned him I'd be starting the tablets again tonight.

Said to him that I might have to take myself in a different room sometimes if I could feel I was approaching boiling point. Also, at least we knew now so I could try to keep a bit of control on my moods if possible and he knew why so could try not to bite.

He seemed agreeable so we have good plan in theory. Just have to make it work in practice now.

Good that your OH took it upon himself to start to get healthy etc. Smile . It is all too easy to start to wonder if they actually want a baby sometimes. The moment when I understood that my hubby definitely did was when we were almost a year and a half into trying. He'd told me he did before that but to my mind, how could he and still not make the effort.
Anyway, about 3 months before we started "trying", I had a weird issue that made me wonder if I might be pg. Anyway, I did a test the next morning and it was negative. I was gutted. Turned out the issue was a side-effect of the pill I was on. I decided that was it - I wasn't playing about like that any more and told him if he wanted to be careful he'd have to take charge of things. Anyway...all that time after the event, we were talking in the car and he told me that he was as gutted as I was that the test had been negative, but he didn't want to rush into anything so that why it took 3 months after that to suggest that we try. xx
_________________
susanjosh
AskBaby Star
AskBaby Star
Joined: 22 Mar 2009
Posts: 2250
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 4:33 pm 
Post subject:
KazM wrote:
susanjosh wrote:
I feel your pain... I hate clomid , but on the other hand love it.

Right now I have a cold so my immune system is down , a side effect I get is mouth ulcers and this month I seem to have more, cuts to my lips and a sore throat .
It's that bad that I've phoned in sick to work, I'm currently in bed . The hot flushes are horrible .
My headaches aren't too bad, ie not constant lately, but this month it's been very sore on 1 side for about 10 seconds .

On the other hand though I love it as it makes me ovulate ... I would do anything .

I have took it for over a year now


I didn't realise it lowered your immune system.. I've been off work with a chest infection and also had a Bartholins cyst. That would probably explain it as I don't normally get ill.

As you say, at least it makes us ovulate. Only any good if you can get the BDing in though. Rolling Eyes



Hope you feel better soon.



Sorry I think I maybe haven't explained properly .

I don't think the clomid lowers my immune system .

I think it's lowered due to my cold and its made the mouth ulcers worse than normal.
I do believe the clomid causes these though

Hope you feel better soon
_________________
Least I have my fur babies x
DL05
AskBaby Legend
AskBaby Legend
Joined: 30 Jun 2010
Posts: 13374
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 4:53 pm 
Post subject:
Susan I read an article earlier that said studies have shown taking high dose Vit C alongside clomid improves its effectiveness for some women Question Not really sure why as it didn't explain could be to do with it being an antioxidant
http://www.marilynglenville.com/womens-health-issues/infertility/
but Vit C is very good for your immune system and since taking high doses while TTC I've not even had a cold and I used to have a constant cold and usually chest infections too all winter , now I might get a bit of a sniffle for a day like one starting then its gone again Question
Since my OH started taking it he's had hardly any mouth ulcers and he used to get loads , his dentist said a vitamin deficiency can cause tham too (iron and B12 ) but he was taking a multi vit and still got them, since the Vit C though he rarely gets them , its totally fine for when you're TTC as well, I get the fizzy ones that dissolve in water as its supposed to be the quickest way to absorb them and they taste ok too Smile xx
KazM
AskBaby Star
AskBaby Star
Joined: 21 Aug 2011
Posts: 2132
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 8:09 pm 
Post subject:
susanjosh wrote:
Sorry I think I maybe haven't explained properly .

I don't think the clomid lowers my immune system .

I think it's lowered due to my cold and its made the mouth ulcers worse than normal.
I do believe the clomid causes these though

Hope you feel better soon


Oh, sorry! I'm being a bit thick!
_________________
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    AskBaby Talk -> Trying to Conceive All times are GMT
Page 1, 2  Next
Page 1 of 2

 
Jump to:  

Community

Popular