Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 12:27 am
I just can't risk it , my youngest didnt sleep longer than half hour at a time for over 2 months as a new born so i completely understand the desperation ,but i don't trust myself not to roll on him and its just not worth it , i have always had cot or basket close to bed ass poss and let them hold my finger while we slept for comfort and even that frightened me lol, however my toddlers when they are so poorly that they wake constantly i have them in with me but get oh to crash on sofa so theres more space and put then above my duvet and bring theres in so they dont get to hot, think i am a worrier though xx
Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 11:18 am
I never did the co-sleeping thing, from the very beginning all the advice I received off family and friends was to let the baby learn to settle him/herself as it will only get harder to do it as they get older. My friend is now in this boat, her LO is nearly 20 months and she cannot get him to sleep in his own cot for longer than 2-3 a night, he wakes up and can't settle again unless he's in there bed.
I know its so hard, when your tired you'll do anything to get some sleep but really try to persavere with it hun. Do you have a spare room? Me and my OH learnt in the first couple of weeks that if he slept in the spare room and got a goods night sleep then if I'd had a bad night with the baby he could then take over and I could sleep for a little bit in the day.
I used to lay LO in her moses basket during the day, wide awake. She didn't always like it and would cry but after a while she would settle and again at bedtime, after her milk and a cuddle I'd place her in the basket and let her drift off. Babies are basically robots being programmed for the first couple of weeks/months (not meaning to sound completely emotionless....I don't mean literally ha!) and they have to learn all the routines - if they dont like something they will very quickly learn how to make you change your mind haha!
Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 2:31 pm
I have to say I do accept that everyone has a different opinion but I think its odd how humans are the only animal that is more happy sleeping separate from its newborn
I have to say I agree, I didn't co sleep with George because he wouldn't settle like that plus I didn't trust OH who is a heavy sleeper and we had no spare room. I used to and still do soemthing wish he was snuggled all safe next to me. It still feels alien for him to sleep in another room.
Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 3:44 pm
Thank you for all your replies.
I have tried swaddling. He hates it, he does not like his arms being restricted and always has them on top of the covers but then he jumps himself awake.
When he is in our bed he has to be on me or touching me - i think this is the problem.
He also does not self-sooth. If i put him anywhere he will not go to sleep on his own and eventually just crys. i have left him to cry for a few minutes but he just gets worse and worse and he is to young for cc.
I have tried many times to put him down when he is just doozing off and on the odd occasion i can stroke his head until he goes off but 9 times out of 10 he just wakes up.
I keep putting him in his cot during the day but after a few minutes just crys.
He is a very happy content baby as long as he is with one of us. I can put him in his chair whilst i do a bit of housework 10/20 mins max before he kicks off but he is getting a bit better with this but nightimes he just wont have being put in his cot. I have even tried having my arm around him whilst he is there and i am in my bed (not comfy) but he wants to be snuggled against me.
I really dont know what to do! i hate that he is our bed because i am so scared of something happening. the more the nights go one he does not even want to be on my chest (which i did not mind as much) he wants to be cuddled into my side which means i have the covers pulled right down and end up waking every half hour and i am also very cold!!
I am sooo tired from not sleeping properly and plus i really want to start trying to get him into a routine and into his cot. It would also be nice for me and oh to have a cuddle on the sofa! sex is totally out of the question at the mo (although it would be nice it is the least of my worries!)
I am really at a loss as to what to do next xx
Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 4:08 pm
Have you spoke to anyone about this, like your health Visitor. I know a lot of ladies on here have problems with them but ours had a sleep counciller that was really helpful with George? I agree he is too young for controlled crying the sleep counciller said they didn't advise this till at least 6 months and weaning had to be well established but they may have other ideas
Does he have a cot mobile or anything. This was enough of a distraction with George to help him fall asleep (sometimes). I was super strict about night time being night time and whilst he is still difficult to get to nap in the day he is now an angel at night.
Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 1:37 pm
The hv are useless and just say he will grow out of it! they cant advise to much because it is not in their "guidlines" so they have to be careful. they just told me how to co sleep safely!
He has gone in his cot for 45 mins today so i will keep going with it. I let him fall asleep on me then put him down otherwise he wont. If he wakes up tonight i will pick him up until he falls asleep again and put him down - and i guess i will just have to keep going with it until it works.
He has been very restless on me the last two nights so hardly any sleep so i dont have anything to lose
He does have a mobile but he just stares at it, it doesnt help him sleep. He also has a seahorse music thing but that doesnt help either xx
Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 9:42 pm
Erin, I totally feel for you as I'm going through it myself with Naia. when i had Sebastian he was perfect - had his bottle, fell asleep and stayed in his moses basket until his next feed (reminds me of his father lol), but Naia, totally different story. She does not like to stay asleep and will only fall asleep on my chest. Even after 15 minutes snoring on my chest, as soon as she is put down she wakes up and will not sleep again.
I've tried swaddling her but she escapes. I tried controlled crying but she woke up my son next door as well as my mum who works (I'm staying at my mum's for a while whilst OH is away) and didn't work. So a couple of times I have just held her on my chest and fell asleep without realising it. Two nights ago I laid down with her in my arm next to me and we both slept for three hours straight. It was so nice to actually get some sleep.
Sorry, I'm not helping but just wanted you to know there's someone else dealing with it with you.
Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 9:49 pm
My boy was awful day and night! I still shudder when I think about it! He's still very young, I don't think I had a proper routine going until at least 10-12 weeks and by 4 1/2 months he just suddenly started sleeping through in his cot. So sorry no advice but just do what you have to do right now to get some sleep or you will send yourself crazy xx
Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 10:35 pm
We used to put hot water bottle in Georges moses basket so it was warm for him. He also slept on a very thin pillow which is a big no no but I think it helped him feel cradled. I had a muslin cloth that I fed with/stuffed down my bra for 2 days then we laid this where his head went. He also seemed to sleep better when we put more blankets on and when big enough when he changed to a sleeping bag. When we moved him to his cot we slept with his bedding for a couple of nights first.
I found OH was better at settling him as he got a lot less stressed than me. I used to get so upset with lack of sleep.
Have you tried Baby massage? This did help George a bit as he had awful colic.
I know it doesn't help you know but he is still very tiny really. A friend was moaning that her 8 week old was waking twice a night for feeds. I would have been really happy with that if it was George. George started to get better around 4 months then got worse again then cracked it at 7 months and now sleeps so well. Interestingly since he has been able to he has turned himself on to his side or tummy to sleep.
I do feel your pain.xx