Seriously disillusioned

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DL05
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Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 4:28 pm 
Post subject: Seriously disillusioned
Didn't take me long Embarassed
I suppose I was expecting to be excited about TTC for a bit longer than 3 weeks Embarassed Laughing
Only on 10 DPO and was just toying with the idea of maybe testing this morning as I had an appointment for a filling and wasn't sure about the injection and TTC Question , only I woke up to discover a big temp drop Sad not to under the cover line but not far off, normally if I get a drop like that I get AF within hours Sad , so i didn't bother to get a test this morning.
Almost went to get a test while out at the dentist as AF hadn't shown but just as I was about to turn left to the asda changed my mind and came home instead Confused
Not like me to not want to test Shocked , I normally count down the days and have even been known to test at 7 DPO Embarassed Shocked Laughing
I don't know if its because I know deep down there's nothing happening or I don't want to test so i can hold onto hope for a couple more days Question Sad
I already feel as disappointed as I have on other months after getting a BFN Question Rolling Eyes
Anyone else get like that before AF even arrives Question xx
KazM
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Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:27 pm 
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Aww Nat, I'm sorry you're feeling low. It has been a bit of a rollercoaster for you so not surprising you're feeling down.

I think we all have felt disappointed before AF even arrives - I certainly have. It's probably a form of self-preservation to stop it as coming as a shock.

Try and think positive. Hoping it all works out for you. xx
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DL05
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 7:12 am 
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Aww thanks Kaz Smile
I wasn't expecting it to start so soon though Rolling Eyes Laughing was hoping for a couple of months of being all relaxed about it before the craziness began Shocked Laughing and now my temps gone back up this morning Question So not sure whats going on there Question
Ahhh the joys of the 2ww Shocked Rolling Eyes
I've been trying the visualisation thingy Laughing a bit like your post about the book you read, instead of thinking it won't happen I've been trying to think positive and spend a few minutes every day visualising whatever stage things would be at if I had conceived , sound like a loony now I know Embarassed Laughing
and it was helping up until yesterday Laughing
Lets hope neither of us have to go through a 2ww with a disappointment at the end , or any of the Ladies on here come to that , its about time there was a big baby boom Smile xx
KazM
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 8:02 am 
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Oh we definitely need a baby boom on here.

I couldn't believe the book's author actually took time to write back to me on that post. I actually saved her message to my PC - she had some really good points about staying calm and relaxed so I'm going to look into meditation etc. to try and relax a bit more. Might be worth a try for you too? Might not help the situation but help us feel better about the part of the journey we are on.

Have to research exactly how to meditate...I get that you empty your head of all thoughts, just not exactly how you do that. If I figure it out I'll let you know. xx
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DL05
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 8:22 am 
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I dabbled a bit with fertility yoga last year before we stopped trying and thats good for clearing your mind, as you have to concentrate on your breathing and relaxing , it was so good that I nearly feel asleep sometimes Embarassed Laughing
I'm a big believer in stress playing a part in not getting pregnant , it can delay ov and some studies have shown stress affects implantation, your body sees all those stress hormones as a signal that it wouldn't be a good time to conceive Shocked
It's not easy to relax when you are TTC though Rolling Eyes , but look how many long termers on here got BFP's when they least expected them , just before IVF or when having a break from trying Question There has to be something in it Question xx
Pen81
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 10:17 am 
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Def recognise that one. Or when I'm standing in the shop looking at the tests I can sometimes literally feel my body opening the gates! Shocked Laughing
It's all part of it I think. I've finally become a bit more relaxed about it all. We've planned some really fun things for this year, so I'm focussing on them. Smile
I haven't got any tests and plan to not buy any till I am about a week late. Ofcourse that actually happened once a couple of months ago. Did 2 tests on different days and bfn. I was just late! Twisted Evil That did tick me off...haha!
Good luck for the coming months though ladies! Smile I meditate when having acupuncture Kaz. Smile It is quite hard, as your mind seems to want to race when you calm down. I try and focus on my breathing as much as possible. Then slowly all the thoughts leave your mind, till your left with blankness. Smile Lovely... Wink
KazM
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 6:52 pm 
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Yeah, I struggle with the blankness(contrary to popular belief Laughing ).
I'm definitely going to give the concentrating on breathing thing a go then, thanks Pen.
Maybe you should try it too Nat(or start your yoga again).

Anyway, good luck ladies. xx
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dlovebabiest
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Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2013 5:33 am 
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I hate that feeling of guessing yet hoping. The part where you are not sure if you should brace yourself for excitement or disappointment. But head up, heart strong.
DL05
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Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2013 7:34 am 
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Pen its not good is it, so cruel to get your hopes up Rolling Eyes I think thats why even after we stopped trying I was still keeping an eye out for ov signs so at least I would know why AF was late . How are you finding acupuncture ? I know a few people have recommended it but its just the thought of it puts me off Question Laughing xx
Kaz I might have to start the yoga again Laughing I find if I just try to relax all sorts of things pop in my head too Laughing but with the yoga i'm concentrating so much on the breathing (and not falling over with some of it Laughing ) that I can't think about other things Smile xx
Dlovesbabiest the 2ww is just plain cruel isn't it, how you can go from hopeful to crushed in a single day Sad xx
MrsZargon
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Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2013 8:10 am 
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I also get various feelings of excitement, dissappointment, crazy! Before AF arrives. I think it's so hard to put it out of your mind and forget about it because of all the AF symptoms. I find it impossible to ignore stomach cramps, bloated ness, sore boobs etc it's like your body is constantly provoking you to think about the possibility of a pregnancy! It is cr&p!!!

Good luck and sending ou lots of baby dust xxx
DL05
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Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2013 8:33 am 
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I know its so hard isn't it Rolling Eyes even when you know that everything could just be normal 2ww stuff , the number of times I've wished I could just be one of those women who get pregnant by accident and don't even realise until they miss an AF Laughing
Good luck to you too xxx

I'm certain i'm out this month though, got all the usual just before AF stuff and my temp which was up a bit yesterday has dropped right down again today to less than monday Rolling Eyes can't understand why AF isn't actually here its so low Shocked
Hope everyone else has more luck than me this month Smile xx
Amymel86
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Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2013 10:22 am 
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Yes, I have felt like this on many an occasion! Something little happens like just the feeling that my AF is around the corner and I've mentally 'thrown the towel in' for that month and had a bit of a sulk - I know that it's not over until AF arrives but I don't want to get my hopes up too much because the dissapointment is too much! Sad
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DL05
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Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2013 4:48 pm 
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Thats true Amymel, I think its worse hoping then being disappointed sometimes than expecting the worst Question Sounds a bit defeatist I suppose but you have to protect yourself a bit emotionally from it all Confused
Hopefully 2013 will be the year for all of us Smile xx
Dawn632
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Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2013 9:11 pm 
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I'm only one 8dpo and I'm driving myself insane!!!!

My right boob hurts which is a sign af is on her way, you know it's going to be a bfn when you test but the disappointment is still as bad xx
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