Long distance relationships

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lysianassa
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2013 12:22 am 
Post subject: Long distance relationships
Any of you in a long distance relationship? How do you cope?
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Xxxpolxxx
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2013 9:15 am 
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I have no advice but i do wish my oh would sod off to the other side of the world for a while x
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Bella83
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2013 9:44 am 
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I have been - my ex was in the army......personally found it very hard, mostly the reason we called it a day, but some people cope ok x
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BabyMilly
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2013 4:06 pm 
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Never done it but there's a chance my oh will go to in Bristol and will only be home at weekends. This will be permanent Sad
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Banoffee
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2013 4:28 pm 
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It's hard work to keep it going. My DH moved abroad when our DD was only 7 months and was gone for 8 months. I went out to visit and did stay out there for sometime too. We spent a solid 5 months not seeing each other though and to be fair it played tricks on my mind. I became very jealous of him having freedom to do as he chooses and he had a great social
life. He still works away from home and comes back on weekends and I now have a stroppy teenager and toddler to deal with. I do feel we have become distant but that's only natural as we don't have much time together with children around. I know we have Skype/FaceTime etc now but it's not the same.
It can work if you both want it to but I found at that time jealousy on my part became an issue.
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ShevAndNissyNoo
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2013 5:46 pm 
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We did the whole long distance thing for a couple of years before we got married my hubby is in the RAF and I was up in Yorkshire, him down in Oxfordshire. I'm not going to lie its not easy and takes work from both sides, but it can work perfectly fine. Xx
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123babycakes
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2013 8:13 pm 
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Yes, me and DH are in the same boat. He's in the merchant navy, away for 3 months then home for 6 weeks. It is hard with the kids, being a virtual single parent, but the time when he is home is fantastic.

We've been together for 13 years, and it has always been the same situation, we have a very strong marriage. As others have said, it takes a lot of work, especially when you feel you are doing all the graft with the kids with no sign of a break .....but it is workable if you love and trust each other.

The hardest times are family occasions, like birthdays, Christmas, weddings. DH was away for both children's first birthdays, and he also missed DS's first Christmas. We work at making his time at home busy and fun-filled, making up for the lost time.

How long will you and hubby be apart for?
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EmzandFlick
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2013 10:47 pm 
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I only had one long distance and it didn't work out for us.
TBH I don't think any of us were really that committed though Embarassed
I believe that it can work, my stepbrother is in the army and he and his GF have been doing long distance for years now and they are stronger than ever Very Happy
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DL05
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 7:44 am 
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I did my OH was in the army too, I think the forces brings extra problems though compared to just working away Question , because you don't get a choice about where they go, they don't get a say in if they're away over birthdays or holidays etc. and certainly when my OH was in the army there were times when we couldn't even have phone contact and I didn't know where he was (well I knew he was in Iraq but not where exactly or what was happening Confused ) and that was really hard , the fact when he was away that there were women there never bothered me Question
But I trust him 100% he hates cheats and is also the type of person who would definately tell me if he thought our relationship was ending rather than cheat Shocked Laughing
When he was in the army I did find it very stressful but after he left he took a job in another area for 6 months and he only came home every other weekend because the drive was very long and that was fine Question
It can be hard though when you get into a routine with the kids while they're away and then they come back and try and change everything Rolling Eyes and it can be a make or break thing for some people though Question , you either miss them and can't wait for them to come back Very Happy or you realise you're happier without them around Question
XxAvasmummyxX
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 8:14 am 
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I miss my oh just for those hours he's at work 7am-6pm I couldnt do long distance personally, would miss him too much. When we met he lived in London and I lived in Coventry so we only got to see one another every 2-3 weeks for months, he then decided because I had no massive commitments up north that I should just move into his.. so I did and then Ava happened and the rest is history Laughing xx
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lysianassa
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 11:16 am 
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Thanks girls. At the moment he will be away for at least 6 months on his new job. He's got 6 months probationary period with his job and if he likes it then he'll stay on for a full year then come back to the UK or the kids and I will end up in Beijing with him. However we are meeting in Berlin on the 1st March for a long weekend as he's in Germany for training. We were meant to be meeting in Hong Kong in May for a holiday but I don't think that is going to happen now but at least we will see each other next month. But I'm suffering a little bit with PND and that has been playing with my head, arguments have already broken out so not good. Sad
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ELP1
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 4:12 pm 
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My husband is a royal.marine so from day 1 he has been going away. He has done a tour of iraq and 2 tours of afghan. He also does a lot of courses which means he is away during the week. As others have said it can be hard and u do have to work at it! As long as u love and trust each other it will work. Xx
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dellabobella
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 8:38 pm 
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My kid's Dad went back home and worked there for a while. I didn't like it at all and we did nothing but argue. I was pregnant at the time and didn't like the fact he got to basically live the singe life while I carried the burden of our kids. Oh and the fact he was cheating on me the entire time. Prick.
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