Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2013 7:38 am
Post subject: Emotional wreck!
Just getting it all off my chest but I never had this with my first pregnancy... and now expecting a girl the only real pregnancy symptom I've had so far is moodiness - I've been a total cow for months... but the last few days, I've just not stopped crying. Everything is setting me off, I get so worked up, and panicky, and just wondered how everyoe else copes with it or makes it feel 'better'.
A picture shared on a breastfeeding support site that I manage of a malnourished mother in Ethiopia breastfeeding her child had be sobbing for over an hour because I no longer breastfeed my little man and I felt so selfish that I wasn't providing for him that way again. Up this morning because my husband got up early and I missed him in bed, so I cried while he was in the shower, then followed him downstairs, almost three hours earlier than I would normally get up, I had to turn around and go home the other day from town because I had seen a news article about a man who got beat up and was totally breathless panicking about how I can't protect Samuel from things like that when he's older, and as I walked with him in the buggy I couldn't help but fret over the fact that if someone walking past us decided to turn and hit him, I wouldn't be able to stop it, and today, watching a TV programme that had a car accident in and the adults were trapped in the front and a baby 2yrs old was crying in the back, unharmed but obviously terrified and I cried and am now so scared because I know I have to drive to my mum's later on and what if I crashed, especially as I'm going alone with him, and he was stuck in the back and no-one there to pick him up and reassure him and I've set myself off again...
I know it is just fretful behaviour and I know it is anxiety and worry and seems to fixate around Samuel and his well-being, but I find I also have really silly thoughts about having my baby girl, and how I'll protect her, and feel so sick worrying and thinking 'what have I done, having children, I can't protect them or make it so that they are never sad or unhappy or hurt, so I shouldn't be having them'
What can I do to stop this feeling/panic?
Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2013 11:00 am
Talk to someone and I'm sure it will help. I get like this sometimes and when I say it out loud I realise the actual reality and the likehood of these thing happening.
Also it's only natural to want to protect your children, I think all Mums have the what if soemthing happens moment all the time.
I give myself quite a stern talking to at times, life is for living and worrying about things never stops them from happening.
Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2013 9:02 am
big hugs, there isn't really a foolproof way of getting over these things, if your at home you could grab a big cushion and cuddle it for all its worth and have a good cry, theres no problem with that and the release will probably help.
The root of this tho is you probably need to just sit and talk to someone (even if its your mw), you could try talking to a bear or doll if you have noone around but I would really advise finiding someone you can talk to.
If your out and about I can only suggest taking deep rhythmic breaths and concentrate on say a lampost down the end of the street, its easy to say 'tell yourself your being irrational' but I've been there where you are and logic doesn't really come into play until afterwards.
What you are going through is perfectly normal for some pg's as hard as it is, don't beat yourself up for it or you'll feel worse. xxx
Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 10:10 pm
Thank you ladies - have been feeling slightly better having written it down and having spoken a little with my mum, didn't really go into detail but just said that I was feeling a bit 'protective' of Samuel and it was getting me down.
I think I'll see if I still feel so bad when I see my midwife next in 5-6 weeks and if I do then I'll mention it to her.
Thank you though ladies xxx