Should I just have a hospital birth

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XxAvasmummyxX
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 1:55 pm 
Post subject: Should I just have a hospital birth
With my daughter I had a homebirth and I was hoping for a homebirth this time however I cant get anyone to have Ava when I go into labour apart from my partner so I am thinking do I just go into hospital alone so that Ava doesnt have to see or hear me give birth and so I gte a break after labour as I cant think of anything worse than having to deal with a screaming toddler just after ive had a baby. I will surely need rest? I didnt worry about all these trivial things when I had ava but im having panic attacks about all these silly worries, it will reduce me to tears on a regular basis Sad

Would it just be easier to have a hospital birth as a way of getting alone time with baby. What would you ladies do?xx
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RachN3Babies
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:09 pm 
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I think you have to do whats best for you and the baby... Is there a reason you wanted home birth?? And do the pros and cons weigh up?? Xx
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XxAvasmummyxX
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:45 pm 
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I had a homebirth with my daughter.. no particular reason apart from a hospital to me seems like a very alien place to have a baby but if it gives me a day off then I might go for it lol
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tracebumfluffwhy
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 9:00 pm 
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personally I'd never consider a home birth, but its a personal thing. What you have to work out is how your going to get to hospital if you went into labour in the middle of the night and your OH had to look after Ava.
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XxAvasmummyxX
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 9:28 pm 
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Ring an ambulance i guess.. I dont know. I should have thought of all this before getting pregnant Embarassed
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Zee81
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 11:09 pm 
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Who would be looking after Ava when you go into labour anyways?

Personally I would go with what your comfortable with. You have expressed in the past the hospitals scare the bejesus out of you so IMO thats not what would be 'best'. If your stressed and anxious there's a chance it could slow your labour right down Confused
Could you not start to prepare for D-day now, letting Ava spend time with the named person whole be taking her when you go into labour, maybe sleep over etc.

I loved my homebirth, having that support from the people I know and trust. I got sufficient rest as I had OH running round after me AND our son Laughing

Also, try not to overthink everything. Things hardly ever go to plan, but everything just works out fine Wink Very Happy
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DL05
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 7:44 am 
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I think you're over thinking it Smile
Do you really want to go to hospital alone to give birth , don't forget that means you will be totally alone for almost all your labour once you get there, midwives are so over stretched that they just don't have time to stay with women in labour in hospital and from my own experience and the 3 other births I've been at they stick you in a room and pop in every now and again and thats it Question
Although at some hospitals that are very busy they discourage you going in until you're virtually giving birth anyway in which case you'll be labouring at home anyway and having to go in at the worst time to move Question
Also in most hospitals the post natal wards are not the best place for any quiet bonding time Shocked the ward at our local hospital is like a corridor with beds in , and the hospital I had most of mine in had 4 bed rooms so no quiet time alone with baby there, and no chance to rest after either .
How does your OH feel about not being there as well , I know mens feelings can get left out when it comes to births but for some men its very important to be there and share the experience Question
From the homebirths I've seen on TV were people had other children at home, the kids were really good afterwards, they seem to just know to keep things low key around the baby Question My sister said the same about her boys when she had her home birth (with 5 other boys in the house Shocked Laughing )they slept through the actual birth and only found out in the morning and she said it was the quietest they'd ever been Laughing
Plus your OH will be there to deal with Ava if she does want something Smile so you can take to your bed and get some rest Smile
I think kids cope surprsingly well with births as long as they know whats happening , and you tell her beforehand that yes mummy might make some funny noises but thats just because its hard work having a baby Question
If you're thinking about a hospital birth just for the peace and quiet then I'd go and visit the hospital before deciding and get a feel for how much privacy you'd get ,if any and just how busy they are ,you're in London aren't you ? I know hospitals up here (north west) often close their doors as they're too busy to cope so I can only imagine its even worse down there Question
XxAvasmummyxX
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 9:27 am 
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See i was taken to hospital after i had ava due to tearing so badly and I hated it that time because I was alone.. however having said that it was nice a quiet.

I just have this horrible image of me hours after giving birth with Ava demanding things and jumping all over me.. I dont usually mind but after giving birth I will want to rest for a day afterwards.. Thats pretty much the only reason I was thinking of going to hospital and yeh im terrified of hospitals but I was thinking it may be a sacrifice I have to make..

I literally have nobody who will have ava a few friends are on holiday at the time, my auntie works and is so high up in her job she wouldnt be able to get the day off for that (if it was a week day)
Oh's dad works too and he runs his own coach business for local schools so there is no way he could have her as he also wouldnt be able to get out of work.. I just thought if ava wakes up I wont have daniel with me anyway as he will be busy with her so no point being at home.. I know she will wake up as I'm a screamer Embarassed Confused
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tracebumfluffwhy
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 10:55 am 
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couldn't you pay someone to look after her, you have plenty of time yet to find someone you trust and who Ava can get to trust, as you get further along your pg too you will get a lot more tired so it would be a good chance to have a break. Smile
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amyxpearce
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 2:50 pm 
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Do you think if you had a home birth and you knew Ava was about it would encourage you to have a quieter birth ha? I've always thought that if my little girl was about at the birth I would really really make a conscious effort not to scream so I don't scare her! But I wasn't a screamer with my first! Plenty of ladies have home births with their kiddies about. I watched one lady on youtube give birth to her baby with her toddler in the same bath haha.

Hope you get something sorted. If you needed to get to the hospital in the middle of the night and hubby was at home with Ava there's always taxis! You'd just need to be on the ball and make sure you don't leave it too late to order your taxi or anything or then there is the risk that the taxi driver ends up delivering your baby haha.

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amyxpearce
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 2:52 pm 
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Do you think if you had a home birth and you knew Ava was about it would encourage you to have a quieter birth ha? I've always thought that if my little girl was about at the birth I would really really make a conscious effort not to scream so I don't scare her! But I wasn't a screamer with my first! Plenty of ladies have home births with their kiddies about. I watched one lady on youtube give birth to her baby with her toddler in the same bath haha.

Hope you get something sorted. If you needed to get to the hospital in the middle of the night and hubby was at home with Ava there's always taxis! You'd just need to be on the ball and make sure you don't leave it too late to order your taxi or anything or then there is the risk that the taxi driver ends up delivering your baby haha.

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Missyplus4
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 5:20 pm 
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When I had my second daughter I was in hospital for 2 nights
and I really did appreciate the bonding time I had with baby after
the birth. Hubby looked after the other two at home, even though
I missed them loads I'm glad I had that alone time with baby and me.
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Zee81
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 6:58 pm 
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Hmm...most hospitals work on a 6hr discharge if you've had a normal birth. (Some soner with susiquent births) doubt youll get the rest your after Question

Personally if I was you id stay at home. My OH was in the process of packing my son off to nanas whilst I was actually giving birth on my own in my bedroom.
MWs never made it in time, and my son only just left the house as my daughter flew out.
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steph181
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 10:00 pm 
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ZeeLou wrote:
Hmm...most hospitals work on a 6hr discharge if you've had a normal birth. (Some soner with susiquent births) doubt youll get the rest your after Question


I had Sam at 9:51am and was back home by 6pm! Also after having her the hospital needed the rooms and me and another lady ended up on the traige ward, so we had people coming in, in labour making noise. Not easy trying to sleep with that going on.
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DL05
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Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 8:41 am 
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My daughter had her baby in October and had her at 6:20pm and I went home about 10 thinking they would be in overnight (as she'd been told), as soon as I walked in she rang to say they'd discharged her and I was back picking her up by 10:30 Shocked and this was after her first baby , they couldn't wait to get rid of her and hadn't even given the baby the vit k Shocked she wasn't even in for 4 hrs after the birth Shocked They wanted the room and from the sounds of it couldn't be bothered transferring her to post natal so sent her home Rolling Eyes
I bet you'll be surprised at how your daughter is, she'll probably be facinated by the baby ,plus your OH can run around after her Smile
I'd agree with the screaming, just because you did it once doesn't mean you will again Question You're better prepared mentally second time round , have you thought about a water birth Question , they do look very calming, I've never seen a water birth with screaming Laughing
My DD had her baby in the water and didn't even use the gas and air once she got in and her baby was 9lb 3 1/2oz and she didn't have any tears and was really calm during pushing, the midwives said its pretty much how all the water births go as the water is so relaxing and helps with the really strong pressure feelings in the pushing stage so women tend to be more controlled Question
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