Seriously Frustrated!! WTF is wrong with people!! (rant)

Post new topic Reply to topic
TTC1stbaby
Senior Member
Senior Member
Joined: 08 Jan 2012
Posts: 287
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:09 am 
Post subject: Seriously Frustrated!! WTF is wrong with people!! (rant)
What is wrong with people? Why do so many teenagers think they should get pregant to keep their boyfriends or so they can have a little bundle of joy to cherish. Seriously!! Don't they stop and think? Are they going to finish school? Do they realize time that their social life will come to a halt or at least on hold! What are they going to do when prom comes, leave their baby in an outside dumpster to go party? I am so sick of seeing young teenager mothers everywhere. Do they even stop and think about the late night/early morning feedings and changings? Their lives will no longer revolve around themselves!!

Do they even consider how they are going to support themselves in the future? How about a baby? We all know they are expensive. As a long term trying to conciever it infuriates me to go out and see 14 year olds showing off their baby bumps!!!

I am just so sick and tired of seeing teenagers get pregnant then abort the child bc SURPRISE, their pregnancy planned to keep their boyfriends only sent them running!!

Sorry if this offends any of you women who have been young teen mothers. You all know how hard it is.
xxHeathxx
AskBaby Star
AskBaby Star
Joined: 03 Dec 2009
Posts: 1830
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 7:21 am 
Post subject:
I know what you mean. My friend's stepdaughter is 20 (looks and seems a lot younger) and is ttc. All her friends have babies and to me it seems a bit like a fashion statement/benefit scheme. Again don't mean to offend anyone, I might be completely wrong but that's the impression I got. Before she started ttc I heard her say she had managed to persuade he bf to let her have a baby. She is by no means in a stable relationship. They are constantly fighting and falling out. Drives me mad when some ladies find it so hard to conceive, yet these girls always seem to get pregnant so easily.

xx
_________________

MrsZargon
Senior Member
Senior Member
Joined: 28 Jul 2009
Posts: 473
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:02 am 
Post subject:
I totally agree with you but I don't think it's just teenagers, it's anyone who brings a life into the world for selfish reasons. Now I'm in my thirties I see plenty of women my age who have babies to keep up with the jones' or to try to fix broken relationships, or because they want a baby regardless of the fact they do not have a stable environment and it's horrible.

Just wanted to say as well that my brother and his girlfriend accidentally fell pg when they were 18 (turns out they were too shy to talk about contraception!) anyway he stood by her through a lot of tough years, he worked 6 days a week and when he came home she worked evenings to put food on the table. Fast forward 11 yrs, they are still together, my brother runs a successful business, his girlfriend just graduated from university last summer, they are almost at the point here they can buy their own house, and my niece is the most beautiful well adjusted little girl who is an absolute credit to them. So not all teenage mistakes are bad! In fact we have almost swapped lives in the last couple of years, I'm the one at home on a Saturday night and dealing with toddler tantrums and they just got back from Vegas where they went to celebrate their 30 birthdays. They have just done it the opposite way round to most people!
DL05
AskBaby Legend
AskBaby Legend
Joined: 30 Jun 2010
Posts: 13360
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:29 am 
Post subject:
I think I know which post triggered this, and I agree its very frustrating, I was a teen mum myself (pregnant at 16 and gave birth at 17) and looking back i wasn't ready although I like to think I did a good job in the circumstances , my son is 25 now so I can say that Wink Laughing , but I didn't get pregnant on purpose, I genuinely thought I was at a safe point in my cycle Rolling Eyes
I agree with Mrs Zargon though its not just teenagers who sometimes jump into having a baby for all the wrong reasons, and when you're TTC and hearing about people falling pregnant by accident after one night stands Rolling Eyes or thinking it will solve all their relationship problems or wanting a baby because their friends have one , we know a 35 yr old woman who never wanted a baby until her brother had one, now has a little boy and said when he was 3 months old, "i'm not sure about him yet, maybe I'll like him a bit more when he's older Shocked Shocked Shocked Mad " and "I didn't know it was going to ruin my social life so much or I might not have had him " Shocked or worse still the drug addicts who neglect their kids or people who abuse them Mad and it makes you furious, but you just have to try to not let it get to you .
You can't change it so you just have to try and ignore it , and hopefully one day very soon it will be your turn Smile xxx
TTC1stbaby
Senior Member
Senior Member
Joined: 08 Jan 2012
Posts: 287
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 1:56 pm 
Post subject:
It wasn't just a post that set me off I am afraid even though it didn't help. At the mall the other day there were two 14 year old girls showing off their baby bumps talking about one's upcoming 15th bday party. Then I was talking to another friend who's sister I was used to be friends with. She got pregnant to try to get her married boyfriend to leave his wife and when that didn't work she abort the baby. She didn't want the responsibilites just the man. I have seen way to many grandparents and great grandparents raising their grandkids bc they parents decided they didn't really want to be parents. I had a cousin (who at 16 took herself off the pill) after her mom miscarried to show her mom she was more of a woman than she was. Cousin got pregnant 1st month. Her siblings and mother spent the 1st few years raising her child. She finally settled down and claimed her child.

It pisses me off that alot of teens get pregnant one time without protection when some of us struggle who are adults struggle so much to have a baby. I read an article about teeneage boys cutting holes in condoms to see how many women they could impregnant and not be financially responsible for.
TTC1stbaby
Senior Member
Senior Member
Joined: 08 Jan 2012
Posts: 287
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:20 pm 
Post subject:
xxHeathxx wrote:
I know what you mean. My friend's stepdaughter is 20 (looks and seems a lot younger) and is ttc. All her friends have babies and to me it seems a bit like a fashion statement/benefit scheme. Again don't mean to offend anyone, I might be completely wrong but that's the impression I got. Before she started ttc I heard her say she had managed to persuade he bf to let her have a baby. She is by no means in a stable relationship. They are constantly fighting and falling out. Drives me mad when some ladies find it so hard to conceive, yet these girls always seem to get pregnant so easily.

xx


I know. I have a cousin right now who is pregnant with her 2nd child. She married him in August, they seperated late October and now she is pregnant with someone else's baby. I have worked with alot of young women when I was in college that tried to encourage me to have a one night stand so I could get pregnant and be like them bc they got tax deductions for their children, food stamps, discounted to free college and many discounted housing if they only worked part time jobs. While as they said "I worked full time to provide for them".
TTC1stbaby
Senior Member
Senior Member
Joined: 08 Jan 2012
Posts: 287
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:41 pm 
Post subject:
DL05 wrote:
I think I know which post triggered this, and I agree its very frustrating, I was a teen mum myself (pregnant at 16 and gave birth at 17) and looking back i wasn't ready although I like to think I did a good job in the circumstances , my son is 25 now so I can say that Wink Laughing , but I didn't get pregnant on purpose, I genuinely thought I was at a safe point in my cycle Rolling Eyes
I agree with Mrs Zargon though its not just teenagers who sometimes jump into having a baby for all the wrong reasons, and when you're TTC and hearing about people falling pregnant by accident after one night stands Rolling Eyes or thinking it will solve all their relationship problems or wanting a baby because their friends have one , we know a 35 yr old woman who never wanted a baby until her brother had one, now has a little boy and said when he was 3 months old, "i'm not sure about him yet, maybe I'll like him a bit more when he's older Shocked Shocked Shocked Mad " and "I didn't know it was going to ruin my social life so much or I might not have had him " Shocked or worse still the drug addicts who neglect their kids or people who abuse them Mad and it makes you furious, but you just have to try to not let it get to you .
You can't change it so you just have to try and ignore it , and hopefully one day very soon it will be your turn Smile xxx


I know I should ignore it. I have a another cousin (yes I have many cousins Smile ) who is about 16 that thinks it would be great to be pregnant now but she is so absorbed in herself that she would not be a good mother at this point. When she grows up I have no doubt she will be a great mother but right now her life is filled with the teenage drama of he said she said stuff. Right now she posts on facebook 20 times a day about friends and how wonderful it would be to be a mom right now.

Children are a blessing no matter what. I just don't think teenagers and like you said many adults consider how much work they'll be and that babies can be expensive or even the possibilites that they could be raising a child alone.

I had several friends who got pregnant when they were in high school. I remember how rough it was when they were trying to balance being a mom, their school work and maintain a social lives. One gave birth to a mentally disabled child. She had never considered that a possibility.

My DH works with families that abuse and neglect their chldren. It breaks his heart to see that. I think it bothers him even more that their parents just keep on reproducing and having babies when there are good people who would love these kids but can't adopt them bc their parents would never sign them over bc they get government assistance for each child. We have talked about fostering but in his work it would cause conflict taking kids in from these homes.
DL05
AskBaby Legend
AskBaby Legend
Joined: 30 Jun 2010
Posts: 13360
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 8:30 am 
Post subject:
It is heartbreaking and so unfair that people who don't care get to have babies and some women try for years to be mothers, I think you really start to notice it once you are TTC . I agree its ridiculous how many young girls get pregnant deliberately , in the UK they can't claim benefits in their own right until they're 16 though and I don't think there are huge numbers of under 16's having babies, although I watched a shocking programme a few years ago and there were a couple of girls who'd become mothers at 11 or 12 Shocked one gave birth at home in the bathroom thinking she had a stomach bug Shocked she was just a normal kid though who'd experimented just the once with her 12yr old friend Shocked before that i wouldn't have thought a 12yr old could get someone pregnant Rolling Eyes , and of course it was her parents who ended up parenting the child because most teenagers are just too wrapped up in themselves and all their dramas Rolling Eyes
It must be hard for your husband in his line of work can the authorities not take these children away from the parents , over her once someone has had one child taken then they often step in and remove future children at birth Question xx
XxAvasmummyxX
AskBaby Star
AskBaby Star
Joined: 11 Feb 2010
Posts: 2301
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 12:09 pm 
Post subject:
I have honeslty never seen someone as young as 14 having a baby, nor have I ever heard of someone that age wanting one but I think its unfair to judge people unless you know them. I was pregnant with Ava at 20, had been with OH for 3 months at the time. The amount of dirty looks I got when I was pregnant was sickening (I look very young) it was very hurtful as they probably all assumed I was just some teenager.

It was also horrible having everyone telling me how hard it was going to be and that I should have an abortion.. my pregnancy was miserable as I was so worried it was going to be horrendous to then find out after birth that having a baby wasnt that much hard work after all as everything came so naturally to me.

I know a girl alot older than me who has a 1 year old and all she does is go clubbing so i dont think age has anything to do with being a good mother.

When I fell pregnant with Ava I had no qualifications or anything and didnt really have th drive to do anything but the love I have for her makes me want to be successful and get a good career where as before I was happy in a dead end job that wasnt going anywhere. I think its each to their own..

The youngest girl I know that has a child is 17 and she is a fantastic mother and doesnt care about going out clubbing or any of that, yes the man she was with has now left her but she didnt get pregnant to keep him, it was an accident that just happened and some people dont agree with abortion. I understand why some women get annoyed but I think its unfair if its simply based on the fact they have been ttc for a long time as everyone is different and not all young mums are the same xx
_________________


DL05
AskBaby Legend
AskBaby Legend
Joined: 30 Jun 2010
Posts: 13360
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 8:29 am 
Post subject:
No one was saying they are Avasmummy , I had my first at 17 and was pregnant at 16 and this was 25yrs ago and believe me I got a lot of stick about it back then from total strangers in the street who felt they had the right to comment Rolling Eyes Laughing
I think the point was more about people who set out to have a baby young and are doing it for all the wrong reasons Question
TTC1st baby is I believe in the US were 13/14/15yr olds having babies is a huge problem , which is why I was saying its not such a problem over here Question
The UK teen pregnancy rate is actually dropping .
But I also don't think being young = bad mum and being older = good mum, that was my point about someone who we know who's 35 and is more bothered about her social life than her child, age isn't the same thing as maturity Smile and this was a woman who had tried for quite a while to have a baby as well xx
XxAvasmummyxX
AskBaby Star
AskBaby Star
Joined: 11 Feb 2010
Posts: 2301
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:14 pm 
Post subject:
I totally agree with what youre saying, I just felt I had to say what I thought. I do also think its not for anyone to judge the reasons for someone trying to get pregnant as it also doesnt correlate with how they will be as a parent.

I know a woman who tried for a baby for years because she felt it was the right time, had been married for 10 years prior but when baby was born she couldnt wait to get her old life back and went back to work when the babies were just 5 moths old to get away from it all.. it wasnt a money issue as her husband is fairly well off being a sports professional.

Where as I know a girl who had a baby just because she loved the person she was with and wanted to keep him (perhaps all the wrong reasons for us) but she turned out to be one of the best mums I know. The guy did leave her and now doesnt see his child, some may say it was selfish of her to put her child in the position hes in now but there are women that get sperm donors who also choose to go it alone so its again down to personal choice.

I do think people are far too judgmental in society before knowing the person on a very deep scale. I think the reasons to why someone chooses to have a baby are redundant as its all based on judgement based on our own experiences.. for instance I am only having this baby because I dont want Ava to be an only child (because I was and was miserable), now alot of people may not agree with that and cast judgement but my reasons for having this baby will not have any effect on how I raise this baby or feel about her. xx
_________________


DL05
AskBaby Legend
AskBaby Legend
Joined: 30 Jun 2010
Posts: 13360
Reply with quote Back to top
Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 8:04 am 
Post subject:
I definately agree that length of time trying doesn't always relate to how people are afterwards, I know someone who really struggled and had a few m/c's and took about 3yrs to become a mother and then the reality didn't live up to the fantasy and she couldn't be bothered with her child Rolling Eyes and she was in her late 20's ,
but there was a poster on her the otherday who was 16 and had decided she wanted a baby so had stopped the pill and her boyfriend didn't want a baby but she hoped he'd come round Rolling Eyes and honestly I just wanted to tell her to wake up Rolling Eyes and open her eyes to the fact that she was setting herself up to be a single mum if she carried on trying to get pregnant, babies create stress in any relationship but when you're talking a young lad who doesn't want a baby anyway whats the odds he'll be gone before the birth Question
I think in her case it was about keeping him and the baby was secondary Question
If she hadn't been asking for advice I'd have said nothing (I don't stop teenagers in the street and give them advice or offer opinions Laughing )
I was also going to try and have two close together if my reversal had worked , for the same reason you're saying , I wasn't an only child I was the youngest of four but was the youngest by a good few years and always felt like an only child, as there would have been a minimum of 9yrs age gap this time then I would have wanted to have two close in age so they didn't feel like an only child Question I don't think there's anything wrong with that Question
I don't think people can help having opinions on other peoples lives, right or wrong, but I'd agree you shouldn't voice them (to them) unless you're asked for an opinion but sometimes people vent on here because they can't say it to the person themselves Smile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    AskBaby Talk -> Trying to Conceive All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  

Community

Popular