Need help putting 10 month baby to sleep in his cot

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Jup
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 10:48 am 
Post subject: Need help putting 10 month baby to sleep in his cot
I really need some advice with my 10 month old baby. It's getting him to sleep that is the trouble. Ever since he was born he naps on my knee during the day. These days he only takes 2 x 1/2 hour naps usually 1 on my knee and 1 in his pram or car seat as we've been out. So this isn't too bad now.

But the real problem is at night as we've always got him to sleep on our laps and then put him into his cot. But the past couple of weeks he's been crying loudly as we put him in his cot and just wont settle. We can't leave him crying as we've tried it and he goes hysterical. Once he's asleep he does about 10-11 hours. But I'd really like some advice on how to put him into his cot awake and getting him to sleep in there. (he is deaf so am unable to sing etc to him). 

Any advice would be great!
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123babycakes
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 10:55 am 
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I would say put him in awake, and pull a chair up to the cot. If you need to put your hand in and sooth him, but try not to give him eye contact.

Its very hard, I know, but he will eventually learn that you are there with him and he is okay to go to sleep. You may have to sit there for an hour ....but it will be worth it.

Then, once he can manage this, try it by moving your chair closer to the door, a little closer each night. Eventually you'll be out the door and he'll be putting himself to sleep (well ...that's the plan!).

When my DD was little, we had to sit in her room and hold her hand until she dropped off. It was very hard work, I often fell asleep myself, but it wasn't for ever, and she learnt.

Best of luck.
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Clairebell29
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 11:05 am 
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George was a bit younger when he started doing this but there were a few things that did help. He now goes to bed awake every night and even say Bye as we leave. We always used to put him down asleep but it stopped working and someone said it's a bit like falling asleep in your bed then waking up on the kitchen floor. Laughing

We did do a bit of the self soothing method but I guess your little one requires extra reassurance as he's not able to hear your still around. How did you do the controlled crying as you are meant to return at 5 minute intervals to reassure them you are still there. Not pick them up but can stroke and soothe for a couple of minutes then leave again. After 1/2 hour you increase the intervals to 10 minutes etc and keep going till there asleep. We only had to do a couple of nights with George and that was it.

There's also the dissapearing chair one whereby you sit by there bedside and can stroke and soothe but not pick up until they are asleep. As they get used to this you gradually move the chair further away until you are in the doorway and then in theory you should be able to leave them.

Do you have a bedtime routin as this helped George. Obviously you can't give verbal cues but a lot of routine is action. George has a bath or wash and brushes his teeth. Then we go up to his room with low level lighting. He is put in his PJs and sleeping Bag and we have a story and milk. Then it's ligthts out and in his cot. He has his cot mobile put on, I say goodnight and leave.

I know your little one wouldn't be able to hear a mobile but I expect he would like the soft lighting. Maybe he needs a night light on for reassurance. George used to like the radio on low. When we were trying to get him to self settle, I had his blue comfort teddy stuffed in my bras all day so it smelt of me.

Are there any support groups for those with deaf children where you may be able to get some advice.
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hayley2903
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 3:50 pm 
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I've just had a read up for you googling things Smile
Mothers have mentioned heightening his other senses. So perhaps leaving the light on or nice visuals on the celing, one even mentioned a digital photoframe of the family within site. If he has a 'comfort' toy, if not, encourage one by cuddling it and showing love for it.
These should help him feel 'safe' and contented, other than that i lave Lola standing in her cot at times screaming until she drops off, sometimes they scream simply because they're over tired so struggle to sleep, good luck Smile xx
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KathG
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 5:27 pm 
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I bought a sleep DVD (that guy from BBC's child of our time's sleep dvd to be more specific) and on it the recommend reducing the amount of help ypu give them to get to sleep slowly but keeping the momentum up reguardless of the child's reaction. So nights one-five (for example) keep everything the same but move from livingroom to his room. then have him in his cot with you leaning over it to comfort (almost hold) him (if your able to) nights five -ten. then hold/stroke his hand whilst sitting away a bit night 10-15. then just sitting beside him..... and so on. Thats not the exact advice but similar to whats on the dvd. good luck. x
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Clairebell29
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 8:55 pm 
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KathG wrote:
I bought a sleep DVD (that guy from BBC's child of our time's sleep dvd to be more specific) and on it the recommend reducing the amount of help ypu give them to get to sleep slowly but keeping the momentum up reguardless of the child's reaction. So nights one-five (for example) keep everything the same but move from livingroom to his room. then have him in his cot with you leaning over it to comfort (almost hold) him (if your able to) nights five -ten. then hold/stroke his hand whilst sitting away a bit night 10-15. then just sitting beside him..... and so on. Thats not the exact advice but similar to whats on the dvd. good luck. x


I think this sounds like good advice.
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Jup
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Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 10:47 am 
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Thank you for your help ladies. I really need to try and put him in his cot awake and get him to sleep in there. I will try the things you've all suggested and see which works best for us. The DVD sounds good. I think I'm going to start this from tonight as it would be nice to have settled by his 1st birthday.

He slept really well last night, although we put him to bed asleep, he didn't cry and slept for 11 hours

Clairebell, we did the controlled crying by leaving him around 8 minutes and then checking on him, but when he saw me he cried even more. We gave up after about 10 minutes as he was really screaming. We've tried this method before and it's always failed. I think he's just a needy child. I don't intend to try it again (not for a while anyway).
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MingoMayo
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Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 8:23 pm 
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My son was almost the same, would only nap on me, and would have to be put asleep into his cot, and was also not sleeping through - would wake every three hours for milk even at 6-7m old.

My HV said to put him down in his cot awake, then pat his chest until he fell asleep, and not to pick him up out of the cot at all between the hours of 7pm-7am. Sounded really hard - and I will admit - the first night he was grizzling for nearly 3 hours before going to sleep, and woke again in the middle of the night and took another hour to sleep, just me sat in the dark not looking at him, but just patting his chest in a heartbeat rhythm... but the second night it took just 20 minutes to get him to sleep, and another ten in the night when he woke, and then on the third night I laid him in his cot, he grabbed his teddy and closed his eyes without so much of a whimper, and slept through that night. Ever since, he goes to bed awake, no cry at all, and sleeps between 12 and 14 hours a night - seriously - I get to sleep in til 8am most days! Very Happy I didn't even get to do that when I worked! Very Happy Daytime naps too - he just lays straight down and sucks his teddy and falls asleep within minutes without any crying. He's now nearly 11 months and has been able to do this since 7 months - really does work - it's just those first few nights, but the HV promised me that she had never heard of it taking more than 5 nights to work... and what I really liked about it was that although you are leaving them to cry in a way, in as much as you're not picking them up to stop them crying, you aren't actually ever LEAVING them alone - you are always there right next to them and patting them so they know that you are always there. I will definitely be doing the same with the next baby as I felt like I wasn't leaving them upset, but was reassuring him whilst 'training' him to go to sleep from laying down in his cot rather than being held.

Hope you find something that works hun xxx
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