Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 8:40 pm
Post subject: breastfeeding/bottle feeding
With both boys I tried to bf.. And failed. Charlie got 9 days but I had so much excess milk I would have to sit with a cup under the opposite breast... And with Lewis i just didnt get any milk and was starving him.. So this time I decided very early on I would bottle feed from the start except the first feed in the hospital.. Mainly because I dont want to fail again/ feel like a failure.. But the closer I get to my dd I'm thinking more and more about breastfeeding again...
My main problem now is that I dont have any support at all.. My oh wants her bottle fed.. His mum was awful with me the first time.. She used to make me sit upstairs to feed the baby.. And my mum has never done it so shes more for bottle feeding..
I dont even really know what im asking lol.. I just needed to write it down.. We already have everything for bottle feeding but I cant shake the feeling that I want to try bf...
Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 8:49 pm
If you feel strongly about trying to bf, do it, its your body and only you know how you will feel when baby arrives. Perhaps keep an open mind for now, you have all the things you need to do both, so don't sweat it You may find that combination feeding works well for you and gives you the balance you need.
There is no right or wong answer here, do what feels right, if you try bf and it doesnt work out, at least you tried, if you feel that bottle feeding will work best, baby wont be without anything, so what feels right hun xxx
Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 9:10 pm
I felt exactly the same, the only person I knew who had breast fed was a friend who did it for a year and I knew had lots of problems weaning her little boy off!
So I was determined to breast feed for 6 weeks then wean onto bottle as she would still be able to trnasition that quite easily.
Men are hopeless, they aren't bothered what you do as long as they get some sleep!!
In hospital I loved breast feeding, it was something of the unknown so I knew I definitely wanted to try but after a few days (I had a section) I felt Lola wasn't interested in feeding so asked a midwife who watched me feed her again and agreed. This midwife then got angry with me because some family had turned up (she was nasty) and then when she returned later made me feel even more worthless so I moved onto bottle, to only find out later that Lola was full as breast milk is fattier than bottle, she was feeding perfectly fine. All in all Lola got the colostrum so I'm happy with that but would have liked to do it for 6 weeks.
All in all ignore everyone else because they don't care about you and your child nearly as much as you do! Xx
Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:18 am
If you want to try it give it a go, there's nothing to lose , if you don't like it you can stop
You're not a failure if you want to stop even just the first day or two of colustrum is all a benefit for your baby
I'd tell you mum to s*d off if she suggested feeding upstairs that sort of thing annoys me its what boobs were invented for after all
Personally I bottlefed my first as i felt too embarassed to even try breast feeding, but with my second I was encouraged to breast feed as she was 4 weeks early but wasn't that keen that time, she was a very fussy baby though and would probably have been the same with bottles but it did put me off , so with my 3rd and 4th I just bottle fed again, then with number 5 I knew I would have to have a section for PP with a general as well so i decided I wanted to breast feed as I felt it was the one thing I could do and it was so much easier that time and I breast fed my last 2 as well, don't get me wrong i'm not saying there were no glitches at all, one boob leaking when you feed it pretty common until your supply settles down , I had that and had cracked nipples once as well , but I think I was just more menatally prepared with the last 3 and to be honest overall I found breast feeding so much easier than bottle feeding, so some of the decision to feed the last 2 myself was based on that
No sterilising to do, milk on tap not needing to take bottles out with me , quicker night feeds etc.
My ex wasn't very supportive with breast feeding , his mum and sisters all bottle fed so I think he thought it was a bit weird and maybe made him uncomfortable
But my OH was great with me breast feeding our two and he thought it was fantastic that I wanted to do it and I think that helped , so I'd talk to your OH if you want to give it a go this time and explain you'd like him to support you with that and have a word with your mum as well (are you living together ?) and explain you don't appreciate being treated like you're doing something wrong/embarassing for wanting to breast feed your baby , the last 3 times I BF I took the attitude that if someone had a problem with it it was their problem and not mine and I would feed (discreetly) anywhere I wanted and never once had a comment made If she doesn't like it she can always go and sit upstairs xx
Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 9:48 am
I would just like to say b******s to the rest of them. It's your body and your Baby so you do what you want/feel happy doing. I would talk to your other half though and try and get his support. Tell him how much money you'll save that swayed my oh.
I don't understand why everyone feels you have to do it the way they did. It's up to you and as for feeding upstairs, I fed by Baby where I wanted in my house. If others had a problem then tough luck.
You can get things called breast shells which collect excess milk from the other boob so it doesn't go to waste.
I went to a locally run breastfeeding course prior to George arriving which I found really helpful. There were also Mums like you who were on 2nd or 3rd Babies and hadn't managed with their other Babies but wanted to give it a go. The one thing I will say is they weren't 100% trueful. Despite them saying it shouldn't hurt I think it does for most Mums to begin with. I found it got much easier after the first 6 weeks that said George was a real fussy Baby so others may not take so long. Contatc your local Breast Feeding Network (your midwife should have some details). It's not going to hurt to have all the information.
I would say if you want to try, then try. Your not a failure if it doesn't work out. Whichever way you end up feeding you will be nuturing and caring for your Baby.
Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 11:09 am
I agree. Take all the bottle things with you to hospital then you can make the decision when you get there - your gut instinct will kick in with what you can / want to do when you have her. Then there is no pressure from anyone - if it works, bonus, if it doesn't, no worries cos you have bottles.
I was considering trying to BF again (I was unable to with Evie), but as things didn't go to plan with Poppy, I had the choice taken from me, which I am gutted about.
Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 7:50 pm
My son spent the first few months of his life in PICU so he was tube fed to begin with. However, I expressed during this time to keep up my supply. He was exclusively breastfed once the tube came out and we carried on until he was 26 months.
I am sharing our experience because if you want to breastfeed then you should just go for it. Please do not let other people decide for you. I have never bottle fed so I cannot compare. However, it is cheaper and I am pretty sure it is easier in terms of time and convenience.
Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 9:43 pm
It sounds like the only thing putting you off is your mum an partner, but will they help feed her anyway? I know my oh wouldnt.
Ive found bf so much easier than bottle feeding, its just another job when it comes to making bottles an saves baby from getting peed off when waiting for the bottle to be made. Ive realized how much I hated doing the bottles, I wont even express cos its the sterlising/cleaning Im so lazy
Just go in with the mindset that if it happens it happens then you wont be disapointed xx
Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 3:38 pm
i desperately wanted to bf! i didnt even have forumla or bottles at home because it was in my head and that was it! when he came along i did not produce enough for him - i tried so hard for days and in the meantime he was being bottle fed and i was bf inbetween - i was expressing and trying everything but in the end it did not work for me - i was gutted to let my milk dry up and kept expressing for as long as possible because i was so gutted.
I say each to their own and if you want to bf or if you mother insticts or body is telling you to give it a go then you do it! i would say screw everyone else - its your body and your motherly right! on the other hand if you dont want to do and you want to bottle feed then go for it!
I know that i would have not let anyone stop me if i wanted and could have bf - hubby could see how much it hurt me that i could not bf and was pushing torwards the bottle but i sat him down and explained how important it was to me and he understood xx
Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 6:15 pm
Post subject: Your Call
I think that you should just talk to your husband about it and make a decision about what you feel comfortable with. I think that either way is fine, it is just up to what you really want to do with it. Best of Luck.
Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:36 pm
Rachel I had a lot of problems with Harry and I didnt last for very long. I also felt emense guilt about it, which made me stubborn as a mule that I would succeed with Charlie! Well, we've had loads of up's and down's but this time it has worked out better and I'm still feeding him. If you want to message me on facebook to ask any questions please do hun. I also know exactly how it feels not to get support and to have even your OH and in-laws question your choices!!! Soul destroying!!! I'm here if you want me xx
Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 9:09 am
All you can do is give it a go, if your mil doesn't want you to feed your baby in front of her tell her not to bother coming around!!
I was completely geared up to breast feed my first daughter and was devastated when she would latch on at all. So this time I had all of my bottles ready and wasn't even sure if I was going to try because I was so upset when I felt like I had failed last time. I tried it after birth and Sophia took to it straight away, I was completely over joyed, didn't know what the hell I was doing or what to expect but so happy to be feeding my baby!
It really is true that your body sorts itself out, I too was producing way too much milk to start with, I had to wear nappies down my bras to cope with the leaking, I was going through breast pads like nobodies business! But after about 10 days the pain went and everything settled down and now I am four weeks in and really enjoying it.
There are definite downsides, I lay naked in my bed the other day and it was like heaven not to have stupid nursing bras and pads etc on! But every time I think about stopping I just think I can't be bothered to hassle with bottles lol, it's definitely good for someone as lazy as me lol!
Just talk to your partner and explain that you want to give it a go, if it works it works, if it doesn't then that's fine. My hubby loved my doing it because he didn't have to get up in the middle of the night doing feeds lol!
Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 11:03 am
Well I had a little talk with my oh the other day and told him how I feel.. He said if I feel so strongly about it to try in the hospital and if it doesnt work we have what we need for bottle feeding.. He even made a comment about thr hassle of bottles sterilizing etc so maybe hes a little more on board than I thought but thought he was being helpful by pushing bottles as I got so upset the last time.. I'm a little down on it myself though aswell so not feeling bf supported makes it harder to make a decision.. I'm not taking any formula with me to the hospital though for definate and jusy see what happens x
Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 11:15 am
Its so difficult and you're right that your OH may well have been saying what he thought was right. Breastfeeding made me so miserable last time and my OH said this time he didn't want to watch me do that to myself again so we're much more open-minded (last time, I was just stubborn that I would breast feed and refused to give in for ages) to combination feeding or bottle feeding. He also said that he would miss feeding our baby if it was solely breastfed. It is a decision to make together but its important that he supports that decision.