Posted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 2:44 pm
Post subject: Can't cope with anxiety
Hi there!I am new of this forum, but really need to talk about my fears!
I am 28 and have been trying to conceive for almost 5 years( with 2 different partners).I have been seen by many doctors that all confirmed that for me getting pregnant was a difficult task.Finally the day I had the appointment to start my therapies, I found out I was already pregnant! It's been a huge joy, but didn't last long because my fears begun! I start to be scared of losing the baby (doctors always told me that in case of getting pregnant I would have been prone to miscarriage).I have spent the first 12 weeks in anxiety until finally the first scan showed the baby was nice and healthy!
The first trimester I was feeling quite sick and tired all the time, though I tried to keep on working ( full time restaurant job+part time call center).Then I've begun to feel better and at 15 weeks me and my boyfriend went to Tunisia for 1 week.It was really nice, but the day before coming back I had to take a very strong antistamin to avoid a strong allergy reaction caused by nuts.I have been sick and the day after I begun to have cramps.
It was Saturday and I came back home on Sunday evening.The cramps couldn't let me sleep properly so Monday I went to the hospital where they did a lot of tests and a gynecologist check up with swaps and palpation. The doctor said that I probably had an urinary infection.They didn't do any scan because I had my scan "only" 3 weeks before!I had to wait another weeks for the results of the tests, to get some antibiotics, I even asked if I could feel the baby heartbeat to be sure everything was fine, but I have been refused.I took the antibiotics and the pain seems relieved, they said I had E.Coli, which I know is very common during pregnancy.However, now I am 17+4 and my breast which was very full and tender before seems coming back to my natural shape, also my belly, which grew very fast in the first 3 months( I look already 5-6 months pregnant), now stopped to grow, also I thought I week ago I started to feel my baby, but now nothing, also don't have appetite anymore. I am really scared and can't cope with this anxiety.My next scan will be on the 22 April.Why they didn't at least let me hear my baby heartbeat?I am going to my country tomorrow for Easter holidays, and I probably going to a private specialist and pay for an ultrasound. I need to see my little one to feel better.I'm having nightmares at night and spending all day hoping to feel something. I am also terrorized to see something bad when I'll get the scan.I have really sense that something didn't go right.I hope is just paranoia. Why can't just feel happy?
Hope someone will understand me.