Nursery cant tell them apart

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jennaxhx
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Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 4:50 pm 
Post subject: Nursery cant tell them apart
So the boys have been at nursery for a month now and no one there can tell them apart yet. It's fair enough if they get them mixed up occasionally but they literally don't know who is who. I have their names written on the tags of their jumpers so they can tell that way but there still seems to be a lot of confusion. They aren't identical and I think there is a definite difference in them but every time I go to the nursery, I always have someone telling me they still think they are identical cos they can't tell them apart.
I just laughed it off til today when I went and was told Liam had a runny nappy which was messy and he had to be totally changed. It was only when I got home i realised it was actually Craig that had the runny nappy. So they obviously had been calling Craig liam all day and vice versa.
Am I being unreasonable to expect them at this stage to at least have an idea of who is who and for me to be told the correct info for each child?
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Shellm
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Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 4:57 pm 
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It must be really annoying, but I can empathise with nursery. We have twins in our nursery who aren't identical but are alike unless I can see their faces. I did teach non identical twins a while ago and didnt ever know the difference in them for the whole year. It was only when they got to year 6 that I could see they weren't identical. Sorry you'll have to get used to it. Very Happy Very Happy
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emmie02
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Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 5:00 pm 
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i dont think you are being unreasonable at all.

If they are not identical then they should reconise some difference between them.

I go to a baby group and the last 2 weeks there have been identical twin girls, as long as im told at the beggining which one is what i dont forget and remember there names. (their mum dresses the differently so is easy to tell)

D u dress them the same?
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jennaxhx
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Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 5:01 pm 
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I really don't think it's fair, so basically I've to always be told the wrong information about my kids? What if one of them was misbehaving and they told me the wrong one and I end up telling off the wrong kid? Or one is struggling with something and I am told its his brother who is struggling.
Cos they are twins doesn't mean they are a package and I've always tried so hard to keep them as individual children and now that's all gone to pot.
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jennaxhx
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Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 5:03 pm 
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emmie02 wrote:
i dont think you are being unreasonable at all.

If they are not identical then they should reconise some difference between them.

I go to a baby group and the last 2 weeks there have been identical twin girls, as long as im told at the beggining which one is what i dont forget and remember there names. (their mum dresses the differently so is easy to tell)

D u dress them the same?

I don't dress them the same at home but at nursery they wear a uniform so they both wear the same there.
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RachN3Babies
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Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 6:48 pm 
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I would be a little mad.. There's a set of twins at my boys nursery but they wear their own clothes there... 9times out of 10 they are dressed the same and as far as I see they know which is which.. I think nursery should take more time to tell the difference especially their key workers.. I know it's easy to call children by the wrong names.. I do it myself with my own two and they not even the same age lol! X
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jennaxhx
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Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 7:17 pm 
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RachN3Babies wrote:
I would be a little mad.. There's a set of twins at my boys nursery but they wear their own clothes there... 9times out of 10 they are dressed the same and as far as I see they know which is which.. I think nursery should take more time to tell the difference especially their key workers.. I know it's easy to call children by the wrong names.. I do it myself with my own two and they not even the same age lol! X


I can understand the occasional slip up. I do it myself sometimes as they do look alike from behind but to be coming to me and saying Liams had bad diarrhoea (something I am keeping tabs on just now as they have both been suffering from it) when actually it was Craig is just something I think that they should be making sure of and it's making me wonder, when they've been telling me things they have been doing, etc if they have been talking about the wrong child then too x
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Raspich
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Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 8:00 pm 
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I'm a secondary school teacher and have taught non identical twins who look very similar - It was hard initially but I made a conscious effort to get to know who was who. (I only saw them 3 times a week too)

I do think they should be trying harder to get to know them, even if that means having something to differentiate them until they do know who's who, you need to be getting accurate info about your children!
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Luckyducky
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Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 8:58 pm 
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I don't think you're being unreasonable. As a teacher, I've always tried to make a conscious effort to learn the difference if I have taught twins (although it can be hard sometimes!). Is there something specific, like a mark on their face or the way their hair grows that you could point out to them, just to give them a starting point? I know I taught one set of twins who used to try and fool me, but I knew one of them had a scar above her eyebrow so I always caught them out with that!
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jennaxhx
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Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 9:09 pm 
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Luckyducky wrote:
I don't think you're being unreasonable. As a teacher, I've always tried to make a conscious effort to learn the difference if I have taught twins (although it can be hard sometimes!). Is there something specific, like a mark on their face or the way their hair grows that you could point out to them, just to give them a starting point? I know I taught one set of twins who used to try and fool me, but I knew one of them had a scar above her eyebrow so I always caught them out with that!


Unfortunately they don't really have any distinguishing marks. They have asked me a few times how to tell them apart and I've tried to find ways such as Craig is a bit more slight than Liam but I don't tell them apart through specific characteristics, I just know overall who is who if you know what I mean. And tbh if they took the time to look at them and think of them as two separate little boys rather than just see them and label them as the twins they would prob see the difference easily.
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KathG
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Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 9:17 pm 
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Thats terrible. They boy both deserve their right to be individuals. Surely it cant be that difficult to learn who is who if they aren't identical. I think its pretty shocking that they dont see it as a priority to learn who is who and joke to you that they dont know. I would have a word if I were you.
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jennaxhx
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Posted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 9:34 pm 
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KathG wrote:
Thats terrible. They boy both deserve their right to be individuals. Surely it cant be that difficult to learn who is who if they aren't identical. I think its pretty shocking that they dont see it as a priority to learn who is who and joke to you that they dont know. I would have a word if I were you.


Thanks hun that is exactly how I feel. I've always treated them as individuals, never ever referred to them as "the twins" as I don't want people thinking of them as one and the same and they call them that at the nursery all the time!
I think on Monday I'll be having a word with their keyworker, it wasn't actually her who had told me about the runny nappy, it was another keyworker but I'll raise my concerns with her and see what she says x
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DL05
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Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 8:35 am 
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Bit extreme but maybe you could use visible name badges until they get used to them Question
I know a few sets who are identical and there's always still a difference so if yours are fraternal then surely they're no more alike than any brothers Question
Although it can be easier to see differences when they're together and maybe if they're apart its just a simple case of they don't know which child has which name rather than they can't see a difference between them so maybe the name badges would help that click Question
I know two of my daughters who were in different years at secondary school but had the same teacher sometimes would get called each others names though and they don't even look the same Shocked Laughing Some people are just rubbish at putting names to faces xx
dellabobella
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Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 9:30 am 
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If they have tags that is ridiculous.
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Xxxpolxxx
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Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 4:05 pm 
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theres 15 months between my girls and some of the staff call them the wrong names! and there in different rooms lol. do they have different versions of the uniform like a polo shirt and a shirt and tie?? so they can wear different?? x
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