Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 2:17 pm
Post subject: dilemas
we recently went to my eldest 2 yr review (normally done at 2 &1/2, now, but went early) when my eldest turned 18 months we hav major concerns over his speech as he only said ta and babbled. when at a family support worker round who do excercise with (which from a parent and nursery nurse point of view was stupid) and he began nursery. when he turned two/xmas time, she signed him off saying he was upto date with his age group.
at the review, the hv said, she wants to refer him bk to her & get him to hv a hearing test..... :s so im all confused now.
PLUS she said we need to strt potty training him. and my godmother (whos a nurse) was shockd to hear he wasnt already. as a nursery nurse, i alwas thought boys were potty trained nearer there 3rd bday :s
anyways we had a morning having ago.....
i didnt really know wht to expect as he does tell u if he pooed and also hv he wants his nappy doin when really wet. he also seems to b taking in interest when i go.
but we didnt get one on the potty or toilet. we went thru 4 pants within 2 hrs before he askd for his nappy bk on. we bought a potty and a toilet seat thing for him to sit on on the toilet. but he jst seens reluctant to sit and he crys if i jst sit him on.
i wonder if nursery would be more successful if he starts training with his friends.....
wht do u think?
Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 4:23 pm
I think that's really awful for the Hv to say he should be potty trained. A child won't be potty trained until they are ready. I tried with my lo last week and he just wet his undies. He had no clue so after 3 hours we put his nappy back on. If he's told you he's pooed that's a good sign. Take him out and choose undies and talk to him about what is happening. He may surprise you.
Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 4:41 pm
I am also surprised at what the HV said about potty training - most girls don't show signs until well into their two's.
With regards to the support worker, many resources supporting families have limited money and an increasing case load of families to work with, so they try to sign off prematurely / as quick as possible. Maybe this is what the HV was getting at? Only a suggestion (I battle with agencies to complete work on children in my line of work because of time and money shortage from the agencies)
Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 4:58 pm
Alot of health visitors work from a book.. Lewis potty trained easier than Charlie as he was 'copying' his big brother but Charlie was just before his 3rd birthday... He had no interest till then... Also i found if I put pants on them they were more likely to have accidents for the first few days and so left them with no pants till they got used to the idea of going on the potty..
With the support worker it sounds like whats happening with my brother.. Hes been sent for speech therapy 3 times and every time gets told theres nothing wrong and signs him off.. Hes in reception at school now and still cant talk.. Also his support worker in the classroom tells my mum he has no outward signs of special needs.. Where other people (nursery nurses, teachers etc) can all see signs. She is trying to get him signed off.. X
Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 5:09 pm
don't put any pressure on yourself or your LO for him to be potty trained. If he isn't ready, he isn't ready. I've had people trying to tell me to get my boys on the potty sincethey were 18 months even though I knew they werent ready. They are now 3 and only liam is really showing he is ready. Craig does same as your son and won't go on potty and cries if I put him on it or the toilet. I was massively stressed last month thinking I had to have them potty trained for starting nursery and when they started I was told by the nursery staff not to feel pressured and that they will support me in getting them on the potty in their own time x
Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 7:30 pm
Don't let anyone pressure you hun. YOur little one will show you sign's when they are ready. We tried too early with Harry, at 18m and all we did was sat him on the potty in front of the TV. If he did do anything it was pure chance, it then started making him hysterical so we gave in. AT 3 he wanted to copy daddy and went from nappys to toilet trained bypassing the potty in a couple of weeks.
Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 9:28 pm
My son didn't potty train until nearly 3, even then he didn't seem interested and we had to switch to pants and let the accidents happen. HV mentioned potty training at my daughter's 27 month check the other day and I said I'm waiting for better weather (!), she was just making sure I was thinking of doing it sometime rather than leaving it too long - I guess with disposables these days it is too easy just to put it off forever (I know a kid around here was trained the week before he started reception). I got the impression it was on the list of things the HV had to mention, rather than something she was expecting us to have done.
Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 9:47 pm
i did say i was waiting nearer his 3rd bday or possible summer and she looked me with a frown and now would b the time. :s i think im gonna see he he gets on with it on tuesday at nursery as some of his friends r potty training then if he doesnt seem ready ill leave it longer. this is a real stuff learning curve for us both i think.
as for the speech...... i feel like his understandin is there and he seems to hav come along way since strting nursery. she said it was that his speech wasnt clear :s he didnt say alot in the 10 min meeting. i dont see hw u cud make a good assesment of him in a hour in a strange environment in front of a strange hv. he nt a performing monkey!
i was so happy wen the support worker signd him off (not that i thort much of her methods or her for that matter) but now im wonderin whts goin on :s
having said that my partner says to wait for results of hearing test.... thers alot of hearing problems in our family history. i myself had a hearing aid and hav an auditory processing disorder. and my brothers had gromits.
its hard wen children get judged with each other. he is perfect to me and so clever!
and when ppl say dnt worry, its hard too, ill jst worry anyway
Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 3:13 pm
My nephew is 7 and his speech is difficult to understand. He had speech and language support in Nov but they say it is fine and just needs to practise. Now he is learning phonics we have seen a massive improvement.
I agree - wait for the hearing test first, then consider what the HV is saying... have you asked for opinions at the nursery? They have a good gauge of kids development and know him.
You are right - children are being judged and expected to perform as monkeys, but they are not, and they all develop at their own pace.
Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 3:18 pm
I wouldn't stress over potty training. I was told to start Flick when she was 2 and it was stressful and it felt like we were forcing her. In the end we let her take the lead and shortly after she turned 3 she was dry during the day and only recently she is dry through the night too xx