Do you think we are bombarded with advice?

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tracebumfluffwhy
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Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 4:06 pm 
Post subject: Do you think we are bombarded with advice?
I now have two wonderful children, when I had my first I used to worry myself silly listening to the 'advice' of the professionals and friends and family, I felt constantly stressed out for the 1st year or so. This time round I've been much more relaxed and not prone to believe everything people say is the 'right' way. I still have the occassional wobble though and ask myself if I really know best Embarassed

My current woble is to demand feed or not. I mean I did with the first one but ended up weaning very early. I am demand feeding again despite one of the doc's saying I must make baby wait until at LEAST 3 hours and preferably 4. How do you make them wait if they wake up and want food anyway, if we was hungry would we wait just because its not a set mealtime.

Do you listen to everything and stress if you can't do it that way? Or have you learnt just to take it as information and use the bits you want?
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Banoffee
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Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 4:28 pm 
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I have not listened to any advice and put my son in his own cot in his own room from birth. I also didn't do the demand feeding as I felt I would end up feeding at every whimper so I fed him at first about 2 hourly, then 3 hourly and then 4 hourly.

I am a bit stubborn though and like to do things my way!

Glad you feel more relaxed 2nd time around as you will definitely find you wi enjoy it much more.
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pepperpot
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Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 5:39 pm 
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I let the advice of professionals stress me out so much first time around I was determined to do my own thing second time round. I felt so much less stressed out and actually enjoyed her first year so much more.

I breast fed and demand fed with them both. Both were happy and easy to wean about 5 1/2 months and I stopped feeding both at a year.

I think it's easier second time round as you know the mistakes you made first time so probably do a better job! xx
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Raspich
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Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 6:17 pm 
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I'm quite independent so I've quite happily ignored loads of advice from people (I politely listened etc when they gave it). If I had listened I would have given up trying to breastfeed after a week or two, when fortunately I continued trying and we managed it at five weeks!

I feed my daughter on demand (she generally fed every 3-4 hours anyway, but would go down to 2-3 hours when teething). She had small tasters of fruit at 4 1/2 months (same amount of milk though)and was weaned at 6 months. She is still BF and happily eats pretty much anything and has finger fed since 6 1/2 months.
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Lilly777
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Posted: Wed May 15, 2013 10:54 am 
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To be honest and I mean no offence coz I love AB but it was the advice on here that I felt totally overwhelmed with.

So many people with so many opinions and ideas, constantly reading about what other babies were doing, what stage they were at, where they crawling/walking/talking/feeding themselves!

The family were OK as I could control and blank out a lot of 'advice' they were giving but then I'd come on here and start getting all worked up about the fact someone's child could say the alphabet backwards at 5 weeks Wink Laughing

The least opinionated person I actually found to be was my HV of all people!! At the weekly clinic she was so nice and helpful and her advice wasnt forced or setin stone, it wa generally based on her experience (and obviously guidelines) whereas my mum and aunties were full of "when you were her age......"

I just learned to listen to the advice, take some and learn from it and to totally dismiss most!

xx
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RacheynHarry
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Posted: Wed May 15, 2013 11:43 am 
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Lilly777 wrote:
To be honest and I mean no offence coz I love AB but it was the advice on here that I felt totally overwhelmed with.

So many people with so many opinions and ideas, constantly reading about what other babies were doing, what stage they were at, where they crawling/walking/talking/feeding themselves!

The family were OK as I could control and blank out a lot of 'advice' they were giving but then I'd come on here and start getting all worked up about the fact someone's child could say the alphabet backwards at 5 weeks Wink Laughing

The least opinionated person I actually found to be was my HV of all people!! At the weekly clinic she was so nice and helpful and her advice wasnt forced or setin stone, it wa generally based on her experience (and obviously guidelines) whereas my mum and aunties were full of "when you were her age......"

I just learned to listen to the advice, take some and learn from it and to totally dismiss most!

xx


I know exactly what you mean. With my first I would come on here and think, OMG why isnt he doing this, why isnt he doing that. Now I just get on with it and not worry about what other peoples kids are doing.

With regards to the Alphabet at 5 weeks, my mum and I joke about my youngest walking down the shop next week all the time because of a mutual friends child. Laughing Laughing
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libertytmk
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Posted: Wed May 15, 2013 6:01 pm 
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I listened to the official advice and then researched it and decided it was best (for us) to exclusively bf until 6 months, blw, keep Jamie in the room with us and sleep on the back. However, we didn't follow them all. We co slept after I did a lot of research on it and we gave him a duvet at 10 months as he got so cold at night and he'd been crawling since 4 months so I was happy he could move if he got too hot
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dellabobella
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Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 4:26 pm 
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Lilly I know what you mean by that. I sometimes read a thread and somebody will say something like their kids get two biscuits a week as all the junk food they eat (obviously exaggeration but you know what I mean) and I'd think jaysus, I must be stuffing mine with rubbish then as they have a few biscuits throughout the DAY Laughing Other than that I never listened to any advice. I've always been the type of person to do things my own way and research things if I wasn't sure. If I'd not have been like this when I had my first I'd never have had her in any sort of routine as I was always looked down upon by my family for her having a bed time and me putting her down in her cot. I'd never have used a sling as my Mum insisted how dangerous they were to the point my sister was terrified to use one and she'd probably be still using a bottle and a dummy now just like my sister's daughter who is also 6. My Mum was quite overbearing when my daughter was born with the way she thinks things should be done but I moved back to the US for 3 months and then moved out of home straight away when I came back so that helped.
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XxAvasmummyxX
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Posted: Mon May 20, 2013 9:05 pm 
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I personally would demand feed but again its a personal choice and I say to all my frfriends just to go with their own istincts. I hate authority (well bossy hv mainly lol) to be fair and have always gone against what health care professionals have said unless I feel strongly about it myself. For instance my midwife recommended bed sharing and I agreed as I love doing things the natural way.

The way I see it is if im peckish I will eat when I want.. as my body is telling me I am for a reason. Im not overweight and bever have been. I say just go with the flow but its nobody's rught to judge you or tell you what to do regarding your childreb. Just do what you feel happy with Smile xx
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