Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 11:24 am
Post subject: family situation
Hi there ... not sure I've posted in the right place but here we go....I haven't been on in a while, Anti Depressants been working and generally been feeling ok ... still been thinking about our infertility & wishing things were so different but managing a easier existence! any how.. news last night, ss & gf are expecting, and I literally fell apart :'(. My darling ss whos 26 dealt with it so well (as he knows our situation) told his dad then let him tell me so I wasn't put in a situation, of course we are so pleased for them as they are so happy but i'm a complete state. I managed a quick 'congrats' & cuddle and a joke about being a younger nannie when he popped in last night and felt really brave, after he went though I just fell apart, all the emotions etc that we all know about came to the surface and poor poor hubby had a terrible evening with me. I could see he was pleased for them and so was I .. I genuinely am, just so sad for us, well me, feeling sorry for myself I know but feel like the wind has been taken out my sails and don't know which way to turn. we have to make contact with gf to congratulate but just don't know how I going to be able to compose myself, I just feel like the next year is going to be a living nightmare for me, and every step that they share is going to be like a knife through my heart :-[ how am i going to get through this?! i have to be positive and supportive for all concerned especially my husband who has been amazing, just don't know how to stay in control... :-\
Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 12:59 pm
I didnt want to read and run. Sorry I dont have any great advice but just wanted to let you know that can understand why you feel the way you do.... I think I would be the same if I were you. Life is so unfair sometimes. People will understand that while you're happy for them its salt into a sore wound for you. Hope its your turn next. Give it time once you have had time to let the news sink in it might get easier, its all so new just now.
Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 1:21 pm
thanks for replying ... yes its still very fresh I feel a little in shock tbh over it as I just didn't see in coming - I was expecting news from my sister actually and I'm not totally convinced I still won't.
if I can sleep tonight I'm sure I will feel better tomorrow - I can cope with anything if I have had a good nights sleep! I think the whole thought of it is worse than the reality, and given time it will be ok. right now though I need to sort my bloody emotions and stop tearing up!! thanks again x