Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 8:23 am
Post subject: Really annoyed
Sorry for this rant ahead but need to know am i being unfair?
So first off i have had a long journey ttc our gorgeous lil man. It took just over 4 yrs and 4 mc and IVF. Due to me not ov' every month and cysts/endometreosis. Anyways my sister knew everything when i went through it as she said she knew i was upset and that talking i should talk to her. Well i went to visit family over the weekend and she gave me a really horrible look and walked off without saying hello or anything (i've tried ringing/txting and emailing her over the last 4 weeks no reply). So ended up in an arguement. With her coming out that she ttc stopped taking the pill just b4 xmas. She has had one blood test and the doctors have told her she probably can not have children?! and that she has a scan in a couple of weeks.
Now i understand that she may not have ov and that she is being sent for scan to see if pcos. But she is underweight size 4/6 you can see every bone! so surely until she is a healthy weight they can not say she cannot have kids. Also to say at a docs appt? surely not they havent even referred her to fertility clinic?
I am so annoyed that she has just jumped to this conclusion, has told my mum that she cant have kids (my mum is really depressed at the mo due to problems with her dad). Now my mum knowing what i went through and going through again as ttc no2 for a yr now and had mc in jan. I'm getting comments off of them saying not everyones life is perfect! My life is v far from perfect and i do not act like it is, me and my oh work hard for what we have, just because we have treated ourselves to a new car and a second newer car to make our cars more practical and actually fit a buggy. Arrrhhhh. I dont know am i being unfair?
Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 2:01 pm
i dont think you are being unfair atall.... infertility is a horrible thing to go through, and it sounds like because your sister knew how you struggled the fact she is struggling is making her think she will have the same problems and is probably frustrated and is lashing out on you due to frustration as shes not sure how to react. What i think she needs to do is ask for your advice and try and work together to solve little problems you can see maybe hindering her success i.e you mention her weight.....
It is completely out of line people are looking at you and saying not everyones life is perfect!!!! oh so your life was so perfect the 4 awful years you were upset every month were they? and now when your trying again?? i think this is just plain ignorance of the fact infertility is a horrible thing to go thru..... I took me 5 yrs and IVF to concieve my little one. and if someone turned to me who was struggling and down played what i had been through as nothing because im pregnant now, i would be very upset!! im not saying other people havent been thru horrible journeries themselves but believe me those 5 yrs werent easy for me and the 4yrs and further one year this time is not easy for you.... could you maybe talk to your sister and tell her (and your mum) how you feel? i do think alot of this is shock factor for your sister atm and i feel for her, but see what the fertility drs say and go from there..
Good luck hun xxxx
Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 2:15 pm
I agree with Mrs S the fact you have your baby now doesn't take away from the fact of what you went through to get to this point, so far all she has is one GP saying something based on one blood test
Infertility is horrible, I never truly appreciated how bad it was until I TTC this time and 3yrs on I now have the greatest of sympathy for any woman struggling to get pregnant and I wish every woman who wants one could get her BFP the first month she tries , but your sisters jumping the gun a bit here isn't she
Most docs wouldn't even do bloods on someone who has only been trying for 7 months and has come off the pill and as you say there could be other reasons why she's not conceived and may not ov , like being under weight, it could be she hasn't got back to a normal cycle after the pill, or the timing of the blood test was wrong (very common with GP's who don't seem to be able to grasp that not every woman ov's on cd14 ) and maybe she does ov, they could have the timing wrong, it could be practically anything (or nothing) at this point and having a go at you won't help
Especially as you are currently TTC yourself, if I were you I'd leave her to stew, but if you're feeling kinder than me you could maybe try to contact her to say you know she's upset but you just want to help if you can then at least you've done all you can and it's up to her then to make the next move xx
Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 5:12 pm
(((( hugs )))) so sorry you have had to go through this with your sister,I know all to well how rough it is TTC and for years at that..maybe sis is a little jealous? and wants some attention? I am sure by one blood test that they can not tell if she will ever have kids or not?? It was only when we went to fertility clinic and a number of tests and an op that they told us we will not have anymore. xxxx
Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 6:20 pm
Thanks ladies, just needed the rant. It is hard and I really do hope that she doesnt have to go through similar to what we have. It really doesn't help that it was the day my af started either. I have tried to ring her again today but shes not answering. So think I will leave her to it for now.
Posted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 1:16 pm
i'm sure she will come around and realise it took alot from you to get were you are today. She is probably scared that she will have to go through all the heartache and stress you had to endure.
just try and be there for her and support her irrespective of her moodiness and jealousy. good luck to you both and i hope that there will be baby dust for you both.
My two angels who are in heaven