Posted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 12:34 pm
Post subject: Ready or not??
Am TTC baby no 2 & I keep lulling over in my head am I ready to have another baby or not?!
My ds Jacob will be 14 months next week & is a very well behaved little boy on the whole, he is in a lovely routine & a dream to look after. What I am worried about is being able to juggle 2 children at the same time. Im scared that I won't be able to do what I do now with Jacob & the new baby. This is why Im thinking I might not be quite ready to have another one yet? I would love to have another in my head but its the whole having 2 children to look after is what im fretting about.
I have never had any support of my mum as she says that she has raised her children so her time is over to wont help out. My dad lives 60 miles away & I dont drive. My OH's parents do help out when they can but they look after my niece during the week as her mum has to work. SO I am on my own a lot with Jacob which I dont mind as havent found it hard (Only when im poorly) Its the being on my own, having little support & the thought of the extra that im worried about. My OH bless him does he best, as soon as he comes home from work, he takes over & deals with Jacob but obviously when he is at work im alone alot.
Is what I am feeling normal? Is it as hard as I am thinking? OR do you ladies think I am just not ready yet?? xx
Posted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 3:10 pm
I think everyone wonders if they'll cope with 2 to be honest, I know I did but I was already pregnant by then I got pregnant by accident and only had a 15 month gap so it's not like I got a chance to plan it but I still coped and you find a new routine if you need to, second and third babies seem to end up fitting in with you though
More than first babies where you do everything based around their routine
I found that 15 month gap hard for practical reasons mostly like 2 still in nappies and double pram etc. but I had gaps of 2 1/2yrs for the next 2 and that was so much easier for all sorts of reasons from the older one being able to understand the baby was coming, to only needing one pram and only having one lot of nappies to change and at 2 1/2 they can have a good go at getting dressed and can feed themselves and seem to enjoy helping with the baby as well and that's probably closer to the gap you'd have if you started TTC now
It's personal choice though at the end of the day there's no right and wrong it's just what you're happy with and it's hard to say, if you're not 100% definite yourself at the moment maybe you're not quite ready yet On the other hand maybe even if you waited a year you might still have the same fears when it came to trying then
Good luck deciding xx
Posted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:03 pm
Thanks for your reply hun. That thought has gone through my head (am I always gonna think that way lol) Im not getting any younger & the last thing I want is to leave it too late. I know Im only 28 but would be nice to still enjoy life when the children have grown up & left home lol If I did conceive now Jacob would be 23 months at least when the new baby came so least with me conceiving in the future Jacob will be over 2 so will be able to understand things & even be potty trained hopefully!
Having 2 children is something that I def want a 100% as I don't want Jacob being an only child & would be nice for him to have someone else to play with as he does get bored bless him.
The hardest part for me is not having the support of my mum, that grates me down the most but am grateful that I have such a understanding partner who does everything he can for us
I think the best thing for me to do is not track my cycles & just let nature take it's course. I feel with doing my temp & OPK's I am adding extra pressure & I wanna enjoy the experience!
Thanks hun xx
Posted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:19 pm
I felt exactly the same as you when we started TTC no. 2 - we are still trying nearly 2 yrs later so my advice would be to go for it if you definitely know you want 2 kids as you never know how long it will take!! Also, my DD is 3 now and I have to say looking back where you are at is probably the hardest stage (at least it was for me). They are mobile and active all day but have absolutely no sense of danger or concentration span at all! I have to say my LO is an absolute joy to be with now, she can talk, play games and we have real interactive fun together. Even if you get pg straight away in another 9 months things will be different to how they are now, still knackering but your LO will understand a lot more than he does now so somehow easier as well!
Good luck x
Posted: Fri Aug 23, 2013 7:01 pm
Hey Becky hun ive been thinking this lately too.. Especially when I do have another im a bit nervous at the fact I will be breastfeeding again and I don't want Kacie pushed out in the sense that when the baby needs feeding then that's that. My mum is fantastic at helping and oh's parents now don't have anything to do with Kacie.
Try not to worry hun Xx
Posted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 8:06 am
Thats what Dan keeps saying Gem. It will all slot into place he says & your wonder what you were worrying about. Thats my OH saying these things
I know your all right, I just gotta go with the flow. Jacob is such a good little boy so I do have that in my favour Thanks for your comments ladies xx
Posted: Sat Aug 31, 2013 9:12 am
I know exactly where you are coming from as my DH and I have been very up and down with the decision of trying for another baby now or waiting...we definitely want to try and have another, just not sure when haha well a few months ago we decided to just go for it now that Kimberley is a bit older...although, there's no right or wrong time, just down to personal preference. Like some of the others say, you just don't know how long it will take. I'm sure that as soon as us ladies are pregnant and have another little bundle of joy, things will start falling into place
Good luck with whatever you decide xx
Posted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 7:19 am
Hey I just wanted to say I umed and ahhed for months before actually ttc as I was also scared how I would cope. I also had an awful pregnancy with ava so was terrified of it being rubbish again.. well turns out having two isnt that difficult and the pregnancy I thourougly enjoyed (bar the morning sickness)
If I was rich I would go in for number 3 but we just cant afford it
Good luck with whatever decision you make xx
Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 10:09 am
Thanks for all your replies ladies. After careful consideration My OH & I have decided to put having another baby on hold for now as we don't feel we are both ready. We are moving house in 2 weeks & we are having a few problems as a couple so we want to build on our relationship 1st & then when Jacob starts his 15 hrs at nursery we will probably consider having another then We just want to enjoy life for a while & we haven't had a holiday for 2 years so really want to do that before we put all our energy into having another
I knew deep down I wasn't ready & I would love another one sooner than later, but just not now. Once things have settled down our end & we are happier again we might change our mind but a holiday is a must first!