Struggling with myself...

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JenMatthews
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Joined: 03 Nov 2011
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Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 10:12 pm 
Post subject: Struggling with myself...
Hi everyone,

My daughter is 10.5months now, and I've been fine in terms of dealing with everything but recently I've been struggling to forget about the terrible birth experience I had...
Lots of difficulty with the midwife who was terrobly behaved, which was the main thong but also the shock of the whole thing, I didn't get my water birth on the birthing centre, waters broke with meconium so automatically in labour ward and I ended up pushing her out lying on my back with my feet in stirrups. I also had a massive hemorrhage afterwards,they were close to taking me to theatre.

For the past 10 months I've been telling myself that it doesn't matter how bad the midwife was etc because I did it, I gave birth and have a gorgeous baby. (And I was fairly proud of this because I'm quite slim build and she was 9lb).

But recently I've been struggling, really getting upset about how that experience was ruined for me :'( I don't know what to do, who to talk to? And is it normal for it to catch up to me this late on?

Thanks for reading :/
xx
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Jennifer256
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Joined: 24 Jan 2009
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Posted: Wed Sep 18, 2013 6:41 am 
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I think things hit home months after the event, archie was very poorly in hospital for three months after he was born and spent 2 years in and out of hospital.

It was only last year I think i dealt with it, had a bit of a meltdown and oh nooked me a weekend away with my friend so I just chilled out the break was lovely for me, but I also came home more positive. I started some counselling although I didnt find it was for me.

I keep meaning to apply for my hospital notes and read them with the view of making a formal complaint as I think there were people in the wrong.
Xx
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hayley2903
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Joined: 21 Aug 2011
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Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 8:18 pm 
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I had a terrible experience also. I put most of this down to my age to be honest (i was 19) I have a bicornuate uterus which can put my baby's at risk from day one and its a constant battle to keep them safe but it was all handled discustingly!
Postnatally was the worst. My midwife didn't bother reading my notes to find i had a section so would ignore my calls for pain relief for 6 hours at a time. She thought i was being mard. I had random names written in my notes as well as "Hayley refused this" throughout. My notes are a complete sham. I could go on but it gets me really angry haha
I complained to PALS and they basically replied "prove it".
This was all shortly after i had Lola in 2012 but since then i am becoming a midwife so have understood in many more ways where my care went wrong and am hoping to write a letter soon to the head of midwifery. I was thinking of suing but i'd rather stop it from happening than take more money away!
Anyway long story short, it's been 18 months and im still furious! I work on a postnatal ward and find myself constantly saying "aww i would have loved that"
You shouldn't ignore it. Find something that helps you get your head around it. Maybe write to the hospital? or have some councelling? You could even look at becoming a doula? or a midwifery assistant? Just something which helps you Smile xx
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Bobski1980
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Joined: 29 Aug 2011
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Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 8:35 pm 
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Your experience sounds very similar to mine, my water birth was also stopped as my waters had meconium and I ended up on my back, cut and ventous and had a PPH after so was really ill. I had three blood transfusions and stayed in for 5 days. My baby was also big at 9lb 2 1/2 oz and I'm only small. I've dent the same as you and now expecting my second I'm terrified of a repeat experience. I spoke to my midwife and she said you can request a debrief with a midwife to discuss your experience. She's already explained some of the things that happened to me and I understand much better now why things happened the way they did and I have some peace if mind. Maybe going through your e oeriencrcwith a midwife and your notes might help? X
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