Posted: Mon Sep 02, 2013 4:10 pm
Post subject: Bad Day
I'm sorry for a such a self loathing post I know they are really tiresome but just had to write down somewhere as having a really bad day. I'm on CD22 so expecting AF in a couple of days so anticipating it just makes me feel so down at this time of the month. It's so hard to stay positive and feel like this could be "THE" month after 22 months of consecutive failure and I'm sure a lot of it is the PMT talking as well but I just feel so [*@!#%*] today, such a failure and so bitter towards all those out there who just have to look at a man and they fall pg! I feel like I'm leading such a pretend life at the moment, all smiles and happy playdates with my DD and her friends on the outside when inside I'm just screaming that if I have to spend one more minute surrounded by pregnant people, newborns or ppl asking when I'm having another I'm seriously going to have a meltdown!!
How on earth do you get through this? And those of you on the other side do you forget all the bitterness and feelings of failure when it finally happens? I lay in bed crying last night feeling like it will never happen again for us and that even if it did I have still failed my DD as we are just passing the 4 month gap mark and whatever happens I can't turn back time to give her a sibling closer in age
Posted: Mon Sep 02, 2013 6:10 pm
We all have down days, hun. the journey to parenthood(or second parenthood in your case) is not easy when it takes so long and it's bound to take its emotional toll.
Don't worry about the age difference. Your daughter is socialising with other children so not like she's missing out there.
She'll have a sibling when it's time. xx
Posted: Mon Sep 02, 2013 6:45 pm