LO never seems happy

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xxHeathxx
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Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 7:33 pm 
Post subject: LO never seems happy
I seem to be one of the only people ever posting in these sections...sorry.

I feel like our baby is never happy and I'm really struggling with it. She goes to bed brilliantly and has a good 11 hour night time sleep with only one wake up. She is then really happy and smiley for the first hour or so of the day then it just goes down hill. She just seems to cry pretty much none stop from then until bedtime. She occasionally screams, but it doesn't particularly seem to be a painful cry, just a really unhappy one. She has a gym and a bumbo. She will be happy in either for about 5 minutes then she gets upset. She'll even only be held and cuddled for about 5 minutes then start wriggling and getting upset again. And everytime we go to the supermarket or shops she screams in her pram and ends up being carried. It's making me dread going anywhere as I dread what she'll be like. I just don't know what's the matter with her and what we can do as it really upsets me and I'm finding it exhausting. She's been pretty much the same since she was born, apart from a few good days. I mentioned reflux to the health visitor but she's putting on weight fine, and was happy as anything when we saw her (typical) so she brushed it off.
I often think it's tiredness but I can't get her to sleep for longer than 20 minutes during the day. Even going for a walk she's awake a lot of it, eventually falls asleep then wakes the moment we get home.

OH thinks it's normal and all babies cry, but I can't help but think she cries more than normal, and there must be something we can do. His parents call her little screamer. And every time we see anyone they always think she's in a grump 'today'. They don't realise she's like that every day. I just feel like it's really getting me down. I'm putting on a big happy front to everyone as we've waited so long for this that I don't feel like I should complain about anything.

Sorry, not really sure there's any answers to this, just feel like I need to get it off my chest.

xx
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steph181
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Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 8:47 pm 
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oh hun, I could have wrote this myself nearly 4 years ago. My daughter cried/screamed all the time, expect when we were round other people and then she wasn't too bad so they would say she is ok.

Unfortunately I don't have an answer for you, and I cant even say it gets better as my daughter has the mother of all tantrums pretty much every day Sad

Worse thing is my sisters baby never seems to cry so makes me feel like such a bad parent as I couldn't have a happy child.
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xxHeathxx
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Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 4:07 pm 
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Thanks for replying. Yes it does make you feel like a bad parent. I keep thinking are we not keeping her occupied enough but there's only so much you can do with a 3 month old surely. We have been to a singing/music type group twice this week and she really seemed to enjoy them. There isn't something on every single day though. We're also really trying to sway her into a nap routine. It's proving difficult as she shows no obvious tired signs, but she does seem happier after a sleep.

xx
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MrsOz
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Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 6:41 pm 
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Evie was the same - a complete nightmare from very early on, but like you good at night (we sleep trained her early on as I was struggling - my HV was fab with advising) She was an early talker and as soon as she could communicate she became much better.

Hope she gets a bit better for you, I feel your pain

xx
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abbie29
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Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 8:18 pm 
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Bless you- you're not doing anything wrong! Mrs Oz and I are Jan 2010 mums and I remember her posting this about Evie! Babies cry because they can't do anything else - it's their communication for everything and its impossible to know exactly what they're crying for all the time. It will get better! Have you got any friends with similar aged babies? It's nice to meet up and share with other people who are going through the same thing x
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xxHeathxx
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Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:46 am 
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Thank you ladies. Even reading back what I have written I feel really guilty. I love her to bits. I'd be curious to find your post MrsOz and see what responses you got.

xx
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Raspich
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Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 1:11 pm 
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I used to find staying at home harder than going out. Frankie had bad colic and was also a rubbish napper during the day until she was a lot older. It never seemed to be as bad when we were out and about.

I dont really have a solution (in my opinion sleep is probably the answer but some are hard work to get into a routine) but wanted to say that it definitely does not mean you're a bad mum. Even when you are having a little moan about it - that doesnt mean you dont love her! Very Happy
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Bobski1980
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Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 3:23 pm 
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My boy was the same, my nephew even worse. We treated him for silent reflux just incase bit I really think its just a baby thing, some cry lots and some don't. Everytime he was awake he was crying it was such hard work. But it did stop around 5/6 months he started being happier for longer. I think small babies can only nap in short bursts anyway and as they get older they start cutting the amount of naps down but they sleep for longer. I bought a book called The Wonder Weeks, its a really good book and charts mental development milestones in which they can start becoming really fussy at set ages up to 24 months I think x
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klam
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Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 3:15 pm 
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Reading this was the exact description of my first, she was a nightmare baby and I spent months thinking I was just a bad mum. Eventually she got easier and now as a 3yr old she's great! It was only afterwards people told me she was a hard baby! If someone had said that at the time it would have really helped but no-one did. No 2 is now 6 months old and has a completely different temperament and I've done nothing differently.

Some babies are just damn hard work and its just the hardest thing when others around you have great babies who are so content. It does get easier but sadly there is no quick fix. I really do feel for you, hope things get better soon xxxx
pepperpot
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Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2013 6:47 pm 
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My boy was the same too, such hard work all the time! Actually my girl wasn't easy at this age either. Can't really add anything as they just seemed to grow out of it. My boy is lovely now, so chilled and calm most of the time. So it doesn't mean she will always be like that xx
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xxHeathxx
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Posted: Mon Sep 30, 2013 11:37 am 
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We seem to have turned a complete corner. I reluctantly switched her onto formula as I just had a feeling I wasn't satisfying her, although I didn't really want to admit it. After a few days she is a completely different baby. I think things have just started to fall into place and the formula has certainly helped. She used to mess about feeding at the breast, then every time she was upset we were thinking she was hungry again. Now we know that she is full after a bottle and it means she is starting to have proper daytime naps. All in all a happy smiley baby Smile.

Still feeding her through the night myself. Not ready to give up on that and we both enjoy it.

xx
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Raspich
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Posted: Mon Sep 30, 2013 11:41 am 
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I'm so glad that you've found a route that works for you Smile

Its so much easier when they are happy!
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