Posted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 3:32 am
Post subject: Non-stop vomiting and illness during pregnancy. Please help!
Hi, I'm a 29 year old mother of 1 with preexisting severe health problems. Due to these health conditions, nobody will insure me. I have the VA, but they don't handle pregnancies. Currently I am pregnant with my second child and things are bad, very bad. I'm sick to a oping that I find difficult to explain. This is not "morning sickness" it's so much worse. I've never been so ill that I didn't want to eat or drink - simply out of the feeling that I would just vomit more. Unfortunately, I'm now past the point of needing to eat or drink to vomit. I will stand, sit, or lay there and dry heave until I am just pouring nothing but stomach bile out. I've got bruises on the sides of my face from all of the wrenching I've experienced. I literally don't think I can do this anymore. It's consuming me. I am miserable and make all those around me miserable.
Nobody understands what it is like to literally be uncontrollably sick. I vomit between 10 & 30 times a day. It doesn't stop and I can't live with this constant pain anymore. All I think about is how this is going to kill me, how I just want to die, how I wish I would just miscarry, and how I should just terminate it before it kills me. I have extremely serious health issues and require daily medication.
I spent 6 years in the Air Force and was honorably discharged (medically discharged) due to said medical ailments. Due to this pregnancy, I've had to quit all of my meds that I require to live. They are vital to me, but I didn't wanna risk hurting the baby. I can't live like this anymore. Even as I am writing this, I am battling the non stop urge to vomit, and I have already done it anyway. Over the last 2 days, I've been cramping horribly. There has been extreme pressure and sharp shooting pains. People are not meant to suffer this way. I already have a child and experienced morning sickness with my son. That's the thing though, I was fully functional, I was just sick sometimes. I worked every day while pregnant with my son in the military. With this pregnancy though, I've been in and out of the hospital, had to receive fluids for dehydration, lost my job due to my inability to function, and rarely leave the house. I can't cook, can't clean, and I feel like such a bad mom from this experience.
When driving my son to and from school, I have to pull over to throw up. We live about 4 blocks from the school - not even close to a mile. This morning he was an hour late to school because I was entirely too sick to operate a vehicle. My son is special needs, so it's not like I could just send him to walk to school. He is 7, special needs, and way too trusting for that. I love him so much, he is my world. I just want my life back. I want to be able to cook my little guy his favorite meals, play with him, and do our routines again. I feel like I'm losing my world.
I just keep losing weight and my desire to function. I need AT LEAST $395 to get it terminated, but I don't have it. The worst part is that for several weeks, the doctors have told me that something is wrong with the fetus and that they believe I will miscarry. There is a concern that the pregnancy is already terminated, but I'm not passing it. This is causing an infection giving me these fevers, vomiting, and pain. I don't know what is wrong, but I do know this: something isn't right in my body and I think I'm running out of time.
The dad and I are a mess because he wants a child more than he wants me. He straight up told me that he doesn't care if I die, as long as the baby is ok. I already have my wonderful son and I can't spend many more days being this ill. I feel like I am going to die and I need help.
The doctors act as if I'm just a jerk who can't handle some morning sickness. I assure you, this is NOT just some morning sickness. Something is wrong and I need to get it fixed before it's too late. It breaks my heart to consider termination, but I don't think I can survive this, and my son needs me. I've already been in a coma and on life support 2 times in my life and the doctors advised against any future pregnancies. It was an accident, but how am I going to live with myself if I terminate a baby? The doctors tell me that they don't think it's a viable pregnancy anyway, but what if it is, and I take an innocent life? I may die if I try to keep going, but at this point, financially, I have no choice.
For the record, I am 5'7" and typically weigh about 125lbs. Since finding out I was pregnant, I've lost over 12lbs in 2 weeks and have been treated for dehydration on 3 separate hospital visits. My HCG has been increasing too quickly and there are still no signs of a fetus - only a gestational sac and a yolk sac. HCG levels align with my being 8-9 weeks along, but my womb suggests no growth and no fetus. I need help before it's too late. Please someone help me. I am desperate and don't know what to do.
Posted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 12:50 pm
I take it from what you say that you are in America? Do they not have free hospitals for people who can not pay and have no insurance? If they do i would take yourself to one of these. My friend had really bad morning sickness to the point that she was dehydrated and could keep nothing at all down and it worked out that she has a bad water infection. which could be the case with you to with the pain, fever and sickness.
the dad is a jerk and once you are better i would get rid of him.
could none of your friends or family lend you the money to see a doctor?
Posted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 2:39 pm
Yes, I live in the US. Typically someone in my situation would qualify for Medicaid, but the problem is tricky. My son has a trust in his name that was created by his dad's family. As my sons primary guardian, that trust counts against me financially when it comes to qualifying for assistance. I have no access to this money, nor do I want it. It's my sons money for when he is older. I am part of a flaw in the systems financial calculations. We do have free hospitals, which is where I have been going for the IV and such. It's not free per se, but they bill the VA for me. The only issue with the ER (hospital) is that they tell me that I need a DNC, but tell me to schedule with my OB doc. The only way the hospital will do it is if I come in already septic - ie, organ failure. They do no operate until it's virtually too late. I am getting close to that point, but am not quite there. The last time I went to the hospital, my fever was 106.2F and I had vomited 19 times. After arriving at the hospital, I threw up an additional 8 times. While getting my second ultrasound, the technician kept saying "oh my goodness", and "oh no, oh lord" - finally I just asked why she was saying all of that. She told me that she wasn't allowed to discuss it before the doctor arrived. I leveled with her and said "look, I already know something is wrong and that the doctors anticipate a miscarriage. I've had over a week to come to terms with this and I would just appreciate your honesty". She sighed, told me she was sorry, and proceeded to tell me that in all of her years as a radiologist, she'd never seen anything like what I had. She said that the sacs are supposed to be perfectly round, mine were horribly misshapen and jagged. Additionally, she said that my ultrasound should have had a fetus with arms and legs based on my date of conception and HCG levels, but I didn't even show signs of a fetus - only my mangled gestation sac and yolk sac. She said that her biggest worry was the location of everything. She said that it looks like an awful miscarriage in the making and that my body should begin to try and "flush it out", but the problem is that everything on me was perfectly centered. She said that my body is making no effort to flush it, so infection is likely my ailment. I read the notes she wrote and she suggested an immediate DNC. When the doctor came to see me, he said he would like to give it a few more days and that I needed to schedule the DNC with my doctor. Last month, finances were not an issue whatsoever because I was still working and doing fashion shows on the side. Now that I've had to leave my job and am too sick to do a show, money is tight - especially with my sons birthday being in 9 days. As far as friends and family are concerned, generally speaking, I make more money than them. I live in a very low income area. Typically my grandmother would be my go to source, but she just got out of the hospital 3 days ago and it was too expensive. This morning I was informed about some free pregnancy clinic in a neighboring town. I'm going to go by there, but from what I've gathered, they do not assist in "failing pregnancies". The most likely scenario is that I'm going to have to get a prescription for anti nausea medication and go do a fashion show for another designer to make the money myself. I feel horrible, but I'm hoping I can fake my way through a 2 hour show. I do have some friends who would gladly assist in helping me fund the procedure, but I'm so uncomfortable with borrowing money, besides my grandma, I've never done it. Also, I worry about their expectations following me borrowing from them. Perhaps I should just sell some of my things that are frivolous and not necessary? What would you do? Suffer through another show, sell things, or ask friends who may have some very off expectations after loaning me money?
Posted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 4:00 pm
having see a poster today for national septis day 13/9/2013 it said that once you go in to organ failure ther is only a 15% chance of living i woudl borrow the money from some one. you can always do the fashion show once you are better to pay them back. sorry if i frightened you by you son would like his mother around for his birthday. If my friend came to me needing money to save her life i would be happy to help her.