My mum has had a stroke - any advice please?

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Janey1983
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Posted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 8:35 am 
Post subject: My mum has had a stroke - any advice please?
Sorry, this is not a baby topic but I am getting to advise from anywhere!

Long story but mum had a stroke on Saturday, the kind after a bleed on the brain not a blood clot, she has 2 places of blood on the brain.

I know what I am after doesn't exist, a miracle cure! but any support or advise would be very helpful.

Good points are she is not paralysed, she can shuffle about and can eat and ask to go to/use the loo, she has yes/no responses and yesterday surprised me, I thought she was asleep, I told the nurse her friend want to visit and mum said "really, who like?" so she understood me but she is so really tired, she has pretty much just been curled up in a ball asleep since it happened, they wake her to ask her things but she is not with it, totally confused! they showed her a pen and aasked her whats this? she had no clue, no idea what day, month or year it is, nothing like that.

The hospital are very much like wait and see, its still early days... which is right but seriously, I need answers and currently they have none! it just seems to be a case of wait!

I cant sleep, feel sick all the time and constantly cry. I feel I am avoiding my son because I cant bear him asking for his grandma (they are best friends and in love with each other!) his other granny is being a huge help but I don't want my son forgetting his other grandma but she is too poorly for them to see each other. he wouldn't understand why she is asleep and not playing with him.

work is going to be awful, I only work 2 days a week as grans have my son 1 day each, work want me to increase my hours, not decrease them! money is tight enough asit is without child care costs on top, I have no idea how mum pays her bills? no idea what I am meant to do. Any help please?
Thanks
steph181
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Posted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 8:50 am 
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Hi hun, im so sorry to hear that. I cant really offer much advice as havnt been there myself, but you could try http://www.stroke.org.uk/ they have a helpline, and may be able to give you advice.

A guy I worked with had a stroke, about 5 years ago, he was in work the one day, and the next they said he had had a stroke! At first he couldnt walk very well, talked slurred and got confused easily. Now you wouldnt even know, he has even managed to start driving again.

Have you had a look into tax credits if you can get help with childcare? Iv looked into it with my b/f as we have talked about moving in together and was suprised I could still get 50% childcare paid.
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Raspich
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Posted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 8:59 am 
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My dad had a stroke a few years ago and is nearly back to normal now. He still needs to sleep during the day otherwise he is completely exhausted. I cant offer you any answers as every stroke victim is completely different however I hope my story gives a bit of reassurance.

I cant really say about the money stuff as I was lucky that my mum took care of all that stuff. I hope it works out for you and your mum! x x x x
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Bobski1980
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Posted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 10:36 am 
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I wish I could offer you a miracle cure but sadly it is just a waiting game. She's survived it so try and concentrate on helping her recovery, she's going to need lots of love and patience. If it was me I would tell my son granny or grandad was poorly and explain what they may look like and I would keep taking him to see them. I don't know if your little one is old enough to talk to and understand that but I am a great believer in children being resilient and able to cope with things like this. I think it would help with their recovery to see thier loved ones. I know many people wouldn't feel comfortable with this and me and my sister have talked about this subject and I know she wouldn't take her children, so is just my personal opinion. I use a childcare voucher scheme at work and my son goes to a childminder one day a week, this works out much cheaper than a nursery and the money comes out of your salary before tax. Good luck Hun I hope she makes a speedy recovery xx
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xxHeathxx
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Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 8:27 am 
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So sorry to hear. How are you getting on? And how is your mum? I guess the only thing you can do is try and go through her stuff. I know that's not nice to do but she'll understand why you've had to do it.

xx
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Banoffee
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Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 10:42 am 
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I'm sorry to hear this.
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Janey1983
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Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 8:22 pm 
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Thanks Guys, my little one is 20 months so I think he is too young to understand why Granny wont be playing with him. I asked mum if I should bring him in to visit and she said no in case he catches something from the hospital.

I will try that stroke charity and see if they can help

Its emotionally exhausting!
keltru
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Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 8:37 pm 
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So sorry to hear that your mum has had a stroke. It's just a waiting game really to see how she improves with rehabilitation. She needs a lot of input from speech and language therapists which will help with the confusion, it's called 'expressive dysphasia' she probably knows what the objects are in her head but her brain won't let the correct words out. It must be so frustrating for her. I'm a nurse and used to work on a stroke rehab ward, I saw some amazing recoveries but it's a slow and frustrating process. Defo get in touch with the stroke association and speak to the team looking after her to see if she's been referred to a social worker, they might help with money and she might need support when she eventually gets out of hospital. x x x
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