Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 7:24 am
Post subject: Biting within nursery
Wondering for some advice please. My daughter attends nursery 3 days a week. Within the past 6 months, my daughter has been bitten at least 4 times by the same child. I have expressed my frustration to the nursery. I know which child it is as my daughter tells me. But it happened again yesterday because the child wanted the toy my daughter was playing with and used biting for her frustration. Well I'm sorry, in my eyes that's not acceptable. I am at my wits end with it. I have debated moving my daughter, but she has less than a year left and has been at this nursery since she was 2. Longer than this other child. I know biting does happen but if I didn't know any better I'd say this child has targeted my daughter and keeps doing it. I won't confront the mother as that is not a professional option. But what are my options other than tell the nursery how I feel which is what I have done every time? Thanks for reading xx
Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 9:50 am
I can completely understand how you feel, I would be exactly the same if it was my LO been bitten. I have an almost two year old and hate it when other kids are mean to him, which sometimes happens at soft play/ mother toddlers. It horrible when you see them hurt. However, the other day the shoe was on the other foot. My Lo hit another little boy right in front of me (not hard but he was still being aggressive). He has never did this before and it was mortifying. I knew how upset I would have been had it been the other way round. I made him say sorry (which he initially refused to do adding to the embarrassment of it all) and took him out the soft play. In the car we had a big "mummy will not have hitting" chat. I know this isn't the exact same situation (biting is worse) but the point I am trying to make is that if the child's parent know about it they might be as horrified as you and do something about it. I would speak to the nursery and demand to know what the other child's parents know (ie do they know your daughter has been bitten four times now by their child) and what are they doing about it. Its not always easy to stamp out bad behaviour immediately but the bottom line is your daughter shouldn't have to put up with that. I think you should express to the nursery how strongly you feel and find out what is been done to stop it.
Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 5:46 pm
I work in a nursery and we had a child who bit another. We informed both sets of parents by phone straight away. The parents of the child who did the biting had to go and see the head teacher. They were told that it was unacceptable and school won't tolerate it. A few months later he did it again and we did the same. This second time the head told parents that if he did it again he would be excluded for a time.
I would speak to the nursery manager and see what the rules are? And how they deal with it.
Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2013 9:30 pm
I've been on both sides of this. Oliver was bitten about 3 times by the same kid when he was under 2, I was furious and mike had to calm me down and stop me speaking to the mother. At nursery they don't tell you who did it usually but it wasn't hard to work out and I felt that if I was the mother I would have approached me to apologise. Anyway. About 6 months later Oliver did it to a kid, I honestly don't know which one and I was mortified! Absolutely gutted. Mainly because of what I thought of the child that did it to him as I actually really didn't like her so now the shoe was on the other foot I was just speechless. He then did it again a few weeks later. Couldn't believe it. I spoke to him about it and the nursery spoke to me about it but really I have no idea where he got it from. It's certainly not learnt at home.
No incidents since however I entered the nursery room the other week just in time to watch another child literally bite a chunk out of Max's back. I obviously wasn't happy about it but just took it in my stride this time as I knew how it felt on both sides.
Unfortunately I think kids are just kids and they all bite and hit at some point. And unless its something that is happening consistently its just one of those things however the nursery need to take some responsibility about keeping a closer eye on them and possibly keeping them apart.