Posted: Fri Dec 20, 2013 11:39 pm
Post subject: I think I'm worried for the wrong reason
If you've read my previous posts, you'll probably know that me and my ex were trying for a baby. I got pregnant just before we broke up, but I miscarried. We've been back together on and off, and seriously, I mean one day he wants me back, two days later he doesn't want to be with me, then it's this never ending cycle! But I do love him, everything about him, all the good and the bad things about him.
I was supposed to come on my period on the 17th and its now nearly the 21st, which I know isn't long but I can't sleep because of it. I'm not usually late, I'm usually day before, day due or day after. Never this long.. And I don't know whether my miscarriage threw me off cycle or not, but I'm still not on.
I have slight cramping, as if I was to come on my period, but I've had this for about 2 or 3 day and there is still no sign of my period.
I'm worried. But not because I might be pregnant... After me and my ex broke up the last time, we knew there could be a chance of me getting pregnant, but I thought that about a month after a miscarriage I wouldn't be able to get pregnant again straight away? He told me that if I am, he wants to get rid of it. I don't want to, but I made a deal with him anyway, thinking that I couldn't get pregnant after a miscarriage. So it's not being pregnant that I'm afraid of, because we were trying for about 4 months, and then when I got pregnant, I lost the child. So to me, being pregnant would be a huge blessing! What I'm afraid of, is being pregnant and him making me stick to our 'deal' :/
I'm so scared to do a test! Scared because in a way, I want to have a baby, I've known since the age of 5 that all I want to do in my life is be a mum. But also scared because if I am pregnant, I don't know what's going to happen.
Do you think I'm overreacting? Do you think the cramps are the start of my period, maybe it's just delayed a little?
I'm worried sick. I lost my brother not too long ago, he never got a choice whether he loves or dies, he just died. So that would make me feel so horrible to get rid of a child when they don't even have a choice, his or her own mother taking their life.. It just doesn't seem fair to me?
I would really appreciate it if I could get some advice and guidance, I mean really appreciate it! I just feel so hopeless and scared right now..
Thank you in advance,
Posted: Wed Jan 08, 2014 6:54 am
I'm sure this is way too late. Also I can see from your ticker that you're about 7 weeks now, just wanted to say I don't think anyone can make you agree to "get rid of it' unless its right for you personally. I hope you're happy and things settle down with your man. Pregrency is exhausting enough without added worries from others. X
Posted: Wed Jan 08, 2014 6:41 pm
I'm sorry to hear you are having a lot of issues right now.
I suppose the question to ask is what do you want more? I know it sounds terrible. But my mum was in this situation with my dad. She was pregnant before falling pregnant with me, and my dad made her choose, and she chose him and aborted the baby. She was about 20 weeks as well. She regretted it big time. So when she fell pregnant with me, she told him, if he's gonna make her choose she's choosing the baby. But luckily for her my dad was sensitive enough and agreed that he didn't want to see her go through what she went through with the first one.
You never know, your partner might be ok. But at the end of the day it is purely YOUR DECISION!
I hope you manage to figure out whats best for you xxx