Coming to terms with unexplained infertility?

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MrsZargon
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Posted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 3:01 pm 
Post subject: Coming to terms with unexplained infertility?
Hi All,

I'm still here, still TTC no. 2 it's been well over 2 years now and nothing. To be honest I'm losing hope now that we will ever have another child and it's breaking my heart.

I wanted to ask those of you that had tests and nothing could be found to explain why you can't get pregnant - how on earth do you come to terms with it and move on emotionally?? I mean don't get me wrong I know having health issues or miscarriages is tragic and exceptionally hard to deal with but I look around me to other people I know that have struggled to have babies and it seems that most of them get their happy ever after eventually, be it through IVF or after 3 m/c having a successful pregnancy! How do you deal with the absence of anything? Feel like my whole life is on hold now and don't really know what to do going forward - do we commit a huge amount of financial and emotional stress by trying IVF when it may not work? My LO is going to school in September and I just don't know what I'm going to do with myself - any thoughts I have on future career, training, projects etc are just marred by the fact that all I actually want is another baby!!

Help Crying or Very sad
sammie23
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Posted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 5:21 pm 
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Aww Hun, I just wanted to tell you my story, me and my oh started tryin for a baby 2009 and I lost the 1.2&3 ones, but after loosing my 2nd I demanded tests which they did, so I had all fertility testing and they all came back inconclusive, so I faced a life without children or so I thourght, I went through depressions and emotions I could never explain, when I had given up hope stopped charting etc, I feel pregnant with my son, whos 2.5 now still amazes me!
We have started to ttc again,
Have u and your oh been offered testing? Have you had a blood tests to see your hormones levels?
I ther anything your or your hubby takes vitamins etc, life style,
I only ask this as my friends hubby used to drink protein shakes b4 the gym and ther was something in them acting like a contraceptive, he came off them 2mobtha later she was pregnant as that was after 4years of teying!
Don't give up hope!!
Xxx
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MrsZargon
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Posted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 8:19 pm 
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Hi sammie, thanks for your reply, it's nice to hear the stories that have a happy ending!

My H and I have both had all the tests, bloods for hormones, thyroid, etc. Ultrasound and Hycosy, even a Chlamydia test. H has had SA. Everything fine. We conceived our daughter after just a couple of months trying so also have the history of having done it once! We are fit, healthy, active, don't excessively do anything e.g. caffeine, alcohol etc, don't smoke, we take pregnacare his and hers conception tablets but nothing else. I've even had hypnotherapy to address anything that could be psychological. I seriously don't know what else we could be doing. I have a really regular cycle, and ov tests show I ovulate exactly in time with what would be expected, but still month after month nothing! Sad
sammie23
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Posted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 9:29 pm 
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It's all so confusing this pregnancy thing. If you don't mind me asking hiow old are you both. ? Not like that makes much difference,
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happyhell29
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Posted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 10:17 pm 
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Mrszargon I'm so sorry your going through this. The truth is however if it's unexplained your still in with a shot.there is nothing blocking your dream, itsv just taking its time. Have you thought of clomid? X x
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MrsZargon
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Posted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 11:39 pm 
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We're 34 Sammy so not old not young!

Happyhell thanks for the words of encouragement it's just hard to keep the faith sometimes! Talked about Clomid with my doctor but neither he or my consultant thought it was appropriate given the fact that all the tests I have show I ovulate in a timely and consistent manner. Why do u think that could help??
sammie23
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Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 5:54 pm 
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What about that's preseed?
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happyhell29
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Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 11:59 pm 
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I some times think mrs z argon that our bodies are so amazing we only understand a fraction of what we cab achieve. I thin when you look at home many people convieve when on the ivf waiting list or woke waiting to take a course of treatment it's down to happiness and posotive thoughts. I mentioned clomid because it just might help the ovulation that wee bit more x
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Jo3x
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Posted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 12:43 am 
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Mrs Zargon, happyhell is right! I was TTC for 5 years 7 months for no.1 both me & OH had all tests done everything came back normal fine how it should be... done 6 months on clomid to no avail Sad and it was only when I went to my last gynae appointment where we discussed are next step would be IVF... I come to terms that IVF was going to be are only way of conception and would you believe it that month I fell pregnant! Laughing after 5 and a half years of no explanation why? Also that month I gave up timing, ovulation tests just went with 'the flow' as I though there's no point in wasting any more money on the things I spend hundred's especially on the clearblue monitor! And in the end it just happened naturally like it should Smile You have your little girl as proof you can conceive and can do it! Smile Don't give up or come to terms that its never going to happen...I think now things happen for a reason and when the time is right your little one will come along! Smile Stay positive and don't give up hope...love jo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Clairebear30
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Posted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 9:31 am 
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Beautiful Jo x
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MrsZargon
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Posted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 8:36 am 
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Thanks Jo, and all of you. Fingers crossed we all get our wish soon xxx
RacheynHarry
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Posted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 5:01 pm 
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Grrrrr some doctors annoy me when they just dont listen. DH and I were TTC'ing for a year when I fell PG but it ended in MC. 2nd one ended the same way. After 2 years of trying we went for fertility treatment, they found I had an under active thyroid and DH sperm was slightly lazy. Although all the tests showed that I ovulated and had a 28 day cycle I was given Clomid and after 4 cycles fell PG with my eldest.

I would go back and tell them that just because you ovulate and everything seems fine, you should be allowed to have the Clomid just to 'boost' things a little. Its such a postcode lottery for treatment and its really sad.

I really hope things work out for you hun xx
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teehopes
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Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:25 pm 
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Don't give up hope hun my friends where ttc their second for 3 years they had all the tests nothing wss wrong, they gave up as they couldn't pay for fertility treatment and not long after that fell pg naturally, never give up hope xx
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jojo36
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Posted: Mon Feb 24, 2014 9:33 am 
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I couldn't read your post and not reply. I had all the tests done before I got pregnant with my DS, hormones, hycosy, biopsy to check for endo, ovulation (progesterone). All came back normal. Me and my husband have been trying for no.2 for a year now and still no luck. We are BD every other day at the start of my fertile week and then every day when I get the smiley face on the OPK. I have been back to the FS, had blood tests and they have all come back normal and that I am ovulating. I turned down the AMH blood test as me and my husband don't want to go down the IVF route, so my FS said there is no real point in having that test, it's more for his info so he can adjust the dosage correctly if we went IVF. The only thing they can't tell you is the quality of your eggs and whether you are actually ovulating every single month. Just because you get a smiley face on a OPK doesn't mean an egg has actually been released. So when they can't give you an actual reason, say blocked tubes etc it is really frustrating. I am 39, my results from the FS were all normal and the FS put it in a nutshell for me. There is no reason why we are not getting pregnant, so if you don't want to go down the IVF route then just keep trying. Sometimes it just takes a bit longer, or when your body is ready for it. If they can't find a physical reason I personally think it's just a matter of time. As tough as that is to accept you've just got to keep positive. I'm throwing out my OPK's and me and my DH are going to BD every third day (advised by my FS)and just try and let go of trying Smile Good luck I really hope you get your BFP
jojo36
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Posted: Mon Feb 24, 2014 9:36 am 
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ooops forgot to say, clomid is only given to women with ovulation problems. If you are already ovulating clomid will only give you around a 1% more chance of pregnancy. This is basically because clomid cannot change the quality of your eggs, but prompts the body to ovulate, and if you are already ovulating on your own, hence the 1% difference. Smile
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