exhausted...

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LilyLim
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Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2015 9:30 am 
Post subject: exhausted...
Hello there

The thing is that my husband and I have been dreaming about baby for quite a long time. Weīve been trying for 3 years and I only had miscarriages before the eights week. And recently I've found out that it would be impossible for me and my husband have babies naturally at all... We've begun considering adoption but from what I've read this process is long. Sometimes it can take 2-3 years or even more. I'm not sure if we can wait that much. There is also surrogacy, but it's such an uneasy decision to make... Iīm physically and emotionally exhausted...
Jane2524
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Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2015 11:31 am 
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Hi, LilyLim

Even can't imagine the pain u r going through. Loss of one baby is awful and when u lose your second child as well it's unbearable.
As for adoption u should remember some important things. It's not only about years of waiting. When u have come to adoption because of infertility, u have to ask yourself: have I fully processed my grief? Donít go into adoption thinking that it will cure your infertility. Examine your reasons and motivations for this process openly and honestly. First of all be honest with yourself. Once u've decided it's lifelong commitment. It is extremely important that you adopt for the right reasons.
Well, about surrogacy. In my opinion it's a complicated question. Lots of people judge such women for getting money this way. And that makes sense 'cause in most cases financial reward is the exact reason for becoming surrogate mother. But is it so easy? Just making money and nothing more? Infertile couples can become real parents, if not completely than at least half genetically related. By the way, where do u live? If u choose surrogacy, u'll have to know the legislation of your country. Maybe u'll have to select clinic from abroad.
Marty43
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Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2015 7:04 pm 
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Hello, LilyLim!
If only I could share your pain somehow. I know how it is not to be able to experience pregnancy during some time. I had the same problem.
What do you exactly mean by saying it's impossible for you to get pregnant naturally? Is the reason up to you or your husband? Or both of you? What disease are you diagnosed on?
Are you sure you cannot take any other infertility treatment procedure except adoption or surrogacy?
Maybe you should visit different consultants just to make sure. Very often couples do spend a lot of time until they get the best solution. My husband and I spent almost two years trying to find the real cause. It was rather exhausted.
I just wanna say you shouldn't give up, be brave. I'm sure you both will be happy having your biologically related child. Wink
MaryBr
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Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2015 9:21 pm 
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Dear Lily, I am really sorry for your loss. Unfortunately you are not the one in this world with such problem. Every year more and more couples face infertility. I was the one. I also can`t have children in a natural way. My eggs are of a low quality. We were thinking a lot about the way out. Luckily the medicine develops really fast. We decided to become parents through surrogacy. We were in biotexcom, Ukraine. You know it is not as difficult as it seems from the first time. Of course we worried a lot. But after the first visit everything became really clear. I think that much depends upon the clinic. Biotexcom saved us. The whole program cost was 29900 euro. This price covered everything we needed. The driver met us in the airport. They organized an accommodation. Moreover our manager knows English perfectly. She was our connection between us and the medical staff. By the way the medical stuff is really great. I think that biotecom is the best that could have happened to us!!!
Angela34
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 9:16 pm 
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Hi, dear LilyLim! Weíd like to support you so much!
You should always remember that there is no complete infertility! If a couple desires to have children it broadens the options anyway Exclamation
To cut a long story short, due to some reasons we also couldnít conceive naturally for some time. I am a sportswoman. All my entire life Iíve been exposed to intensive exercising that finally affected my fertility. I mean premature menopause.
So when I was ready to quit my favourite work and dedicate life to a newborn, I failed Crying or Very sad That was the greatest failure of my life!
We began looking for the way out and one day happened to read about Ukrainian biotexcom. These days we are among its patients having started IVF procedure with egg donation. Now we are just survive that looming two-week wait before pregnancy test. Itís pretty hard, but do feel everything will be perfect Cool
Are you sure nothing could be additionally done to solve your problem differently? Is this the right time for you to consider adopting and surrogacy at all?
lora777
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Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2016 3:29 pm 
Post subject: need your soothing word
Hi ladies,
I thought i was dealing with our failed ivf cycle ok until yesterday. I found it hard at the thought we may never have a little one to play and build toys with on winter holidays. But i struggled through (with plenty of tears) ...
Then today my brother told me he and his wife are 3 months pregnant with my niece/nephew.. I am over the moon. Donít get me wrong but I broke down at the fact they couldnít tell me their special news earlier! I am so hurt and upset over this! I wish he told me sooner rather than a few days after my bfn!Crying or Very sad
I donít really mean I am at the edge of giving up. But still it hurts so much! I couldnít suppose the first failure to be so cruel. Dear you, beg your pardon for this nagging.. Sad
But sometimes I feel like i wish nobody knew about our struggles to conceive. This is because now my family is tip toeing around us! Just feel like I want to run away for a few days and escape all the self pitty ! X
BabyFranka
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Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2016 8:59 am 
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Hi ladies, I understand you like no one else. my dh and i have been struggling with infertility for many years - no result. it was a despair and stress. i know very well how it feel to get bfn each month. Lora777, just be happy for your brother. i understand that it might get on your nerves, but anyways this is your nephew or niece - a new member of your family! and you - keep on trying. Your time will come. in any case, just remember that there is no absolute infertility. for us, the way out was to adopt a child. and yes, after two long years of waiting we became parents to a wonderful young lady from Ukraine. Years of despair are left behind with hopes for a very happy future for us all.
Hope to hear good news from you, girls.
we're all designed to become mothers, sooner or later. Just wait for your turn. Very Happy
frannySm
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Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2016 12:02 pm 
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Girls, my congrats with your successful procedures! Lora777, honey don't give up! I know how it feels. It's so painful, when everyone around get pregnant and give birth and you are happy for them, but at the same time you feel so miserable... But we should stay strong! Sooner or later we'll also have little precious cuties! We are lucky there are doctors, who can help us to become parents. I faced infertility 20 years ago. I was diagnosed with chronic glomerulonephritis. My husband and I used Ukrainian clinic BioTexCom. Prices in USA are prohibitive for us. Costs for surrogacy in Ukraine are much lower. Also we liked doctors and services. I considered Greece and Russia too. I must say prices in Greece donít differ much from US. Their costs varies from $70 000 to $90 000. Why pay more if you can find same service and even better for lower price? I don't want to seem meanie, but we spend so much money for children! Spendings raise along with our kids. Speaking about Russia, I didn't even included it into my list. Maybe their medicine is on a good level, but legislation is not very inclined for infertile couples. They have a law which gives all rights for child to surrogate mother. So she can leave your baby to herself if she wants to. We didn't want to risk, so chose Ukraine, which doesn't have this law. We used this clinic twice. First time we chose standard package for 39 900 euros. Second time of our surrogacy program we chose vip package. It costed 49 900 euros. First time the clinic found sm for us in 2,5 months after signing the contract. Second time it took 2 months or even less. I think that was pretty fast in both cases. ow we have 3 healthy and gorgeous kids, girl and two boys(twins). Girls, we should always believe in the best!
olivia33
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Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2016 7:55 am 
Post subject: Be strong!
Be strong I wish you the best for the future !
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