Heartbreaking secondary infertility

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berta55
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 9:12 am 
Post subject: Heartbreaking secondary infertility
Hi, ladies.
First, I am sorry for those of you suffering from primary infertility. I used to be one of you and every time a post on secondary infertility came up, I would avoid it. I took it like the plague as I thought "you already have a child...what more could you want??"...
Well I was so terribly wrong. Secondary infertility is heartbreaking as well. I read somewhere that infertility is incurable....and it is. Just because you have a baby doesn't mean you are cured.
I was here just over a year ago looking for support as we went through IVF with donor eggs in Biotexcom. Miraculously, it worked and we now have a healthy baby. Already though, we are looking at trying for a second baby and failing miserably. Absolutely like it was at the beginning of our fertility journey….
In my naivety, I thought I would be one of those miracle clichés you hear about. You know the ones who struggle for years and finally get pregnant with IVF. And then a few months later just happen to accidentally get pregnant naturally. It wasn't meant to be! Crying or Very sad
So we have an appointment in a few weeks with our doc to start the process again. And I am beyond scared. I just feel like such a failure. What makes it so much worse is that my husband is Mr “Perfect”.
I feel like he must look down on me with a mixture of sympathy and superiority..Because it is not his fault we can’t conceive..it’s mine. This has caused a huge rift in our marriage and I am finding this all too much to bear right now. I guess I was just hoping to reach out to anyone who may be feeling the same or at least some of the things... Sad
Millie12
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 9:23 am 
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Hi, dear!! First, let me say I’m so sorry for what you’re feeling!!
Unfortunately, infertility is definitely incurable. I feel like even if I am lucky to come out on the other side of IFV, I will still always feel anxiety and stress related to it.
Going through IVF treatments is incredibly stressful and time consuming. And I can only imagine trying to go through it with a newborn. (Sending you congrats with you tiny!!)
With that said, you should make sure not to let yourself get dragged down by treatments right now.Exclamation Otherwise the negativity will wear you down. You have a baby who needs you. And the reality is, this might be your only chance to experience life with a newborn. Don't let that pass you by because you are wrapped up in something that you do not have any control over.
Right now, you have control over that beautiful baby that you recently gave birth to. And you owe it to yourself to enjoy every minute of it.
Also, it seems like you have a lot of stress due to some unresolved issues with your husband. As hard as it is, a calm and optimistic demeanor would be more beneficial to your whole little family. All of these things are easier said than done, I know, but it will make another cycle more bearable and easier to deal with in the long run.
Sending peaceful thoughts to you...
MrsZargon
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Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2016 11:50 am 
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Huge Hugs from someone going through the same thing!

My journey has been somewhat different to yours - we conceived our DD after just 3 months of trying, had a healthy pg and beautiful healthy baby. Like so many others we started TTC no.2 after a year, and this time it has been so different for us. 4 and a half years on we still haven't managed to get pg. It has been the worst time in my life and I have had so many feelings of failure and disappointment. I gave up work to be a career Mum and feel that I have failed at that as I only have 1 child. She now goes to school and I hide at home not wanting to mix with friends who have young children. I don't want to move on with my life, start working again maybe training for my future career as I am so stuck in this rut and can't accept that we may never have another child. And all our fertility tests have not shown anything wrong so we are at a complete loss as to why we can't conceive it's awful.

What I can tell you is that on the other side of the coin it has been an absolute joy being a Mum to my little girl, being able to dote on her and spend time with her in a way that would not be possible if I had more children. She is an absolute joy and now that she is a bit older (5) we have such fun as a family - on holidays and at weekends living the dream together. You need to focus on that - you only get one life and if it turns out that you only ever have one child you do not want to have wasted the joy of being a Mum pining for what you haven't got! I hope that doesn't sound harsh - it's what I tell myself everyday! I wish you every success xxx
heLLmany7
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Joined: 13 Apr 2016
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Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2016 10:44 am 
Post subject: Surrogacy Ukraine
Hello everyone I'm looking for surrogacy agency or clinic, and wasn't sure what country will be the best to go. There are so much information to read. India was one of my main options till they ban surrogacy for the foreigner. I heard Ukraine is very good and cheap in reproduction, I found this article today:
http://newseurope.info/countries-of-surrogacy-are-all-as-good-as-they-seem-to-be/

I met the name biotexcom clinic very often on the forums. Is it really that good?
Thanks
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