Exasperated, Frustrated and Scared

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EnchantingStarlight
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Joined: 01 Jun 2014
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 1:41 am 
Post subject: Exasperated, Frustrated and Scared
We've been TTC since October 2012. I am almost 28, he is 26. We are both quite healthy in general. I'll be getting health insurance in a month or so, and then I will be going to the doctor and getting initial tests done. We are both just terrified that we will not be able to conceive, and being a parent is all either of us has ever wanted from life. I've felt since I was 3 that my purpose on earth is to be mother. I guess I'm just looking for a place to vent and be scared right now. I feel so guilty that my best friend just told me she is pregnant after trying for 2 months and while I told her enthusiastically that I'm stoked for her, and I really am, I'm secretly also jealous and hurt and confused by my body. She is going to be an amazing mom and her husband will be a great father. They are the kind of people who should be having babies. I often find myself wondering, why do people who are 14 years old or druggies or just irresponsible get to have babies, but people like us who are responsible, hard-working, loving, nurturing and stable cannot? I know I'm not the first to have the "why me" talk, and it's probably just annoying to everyone who has overcome that phase, but that's where I am right now. I can't wait to move past it and I know that going to the doctor will help. Even if the answers are not comforting, at least we will have some and can look at our options. Right now it's all pure speculation and hoping it's just bad luck, bad timing, etc. Is there any other form of coping that you all have found helpful at this stage? Any advice? Thanks, all. ❤
KazM
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 11:52 am 
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I felt like that at your stage of things too. It is horrible. Fertility is something you can never predict. Having somewhere to vent (like this) helps. xx
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fc79
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Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 7:26 am 
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Hi, I could have almost written this myself a few years ago. I was in the same position, I was 28 my husband 27 and we were both fit and healthy, non smokers did everything we should. We waited to start TTC till we had our own 3 bed house and thought we had everything planned and set in place. I had worked with children for years in nurseries and as a nanny and being a mummy myself was all I wanted.
We went to the docs after a year and found out my husband had a severely low sperm count - less than 1 million when the norm is 20 million per ml!
We were shocked and I had all the same feelings you're having now.
Anyway, fast forward 6 years and we now have a 3 year old son and I'm 5 weeks pregnant, both through ivf.
My advice would be to just fight! Take the bull by the horns and do everything in your power to make it happen, and it will happen just you may have to take a different route to mmost people.
Ours was a pretty extreme case and there's every possibility there might not be too much wrong with either of you and you might just need a little extra help.
Hope you get to see the doctor soon and get some answers so you can get on with starting your family.
Good luck
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