Posted: Sun May 04, 2014 7:07 pm
Post subject: ME and OH not getting along :( HELP!!!!!
Me and OH are really not getting along
We are planning our wedding which is in just under 2 years, but we are just continuesly argueing We disagree on everything from parenting the kids, what is and isnt acceptable behaviour, how to punish them, we always fall out over the housework, he says i dont keep up with it very well and it does his head in because sometimes id rather go out than do housework. I work 3 jobs (a part time job in a play centre 2 days a week, i clean once a week for a lady and i also run a facepainting business which i work most weekends sat and sun to do so.... as well as having 2 young children (age 6 and 2) and the house to try and keep ontop of. I sort all the bills and make sure everything is paid, I do the shopping the washing, I NEVER have a lay in, he tells me that staying at home and looking after the kids is easier than working and we have had a massive fall out AGAIN! He works hard, dont get me wrong, he works 50hours over 6 days and works his own business in evenings and weekends. We are both exhausted all the time.
I cant help but feel hatred towards him because of his opinion towards how 'easy' it supposedly is!!! He makes me bloody angry actually. And he is always saying that he will be saving up for and buying a BMW M5 once we have paid for the wedding, and that a house will come after the car. He is dead serious! I feel hatred towards him for being willing to spend that sort of money on a vehicle when he has a family! Ive given up my hobby, i dont own horses anymore, Ive given up my nic car for a cheap runaround and I struggle to keep up with the house aswell as looking after my children and puppy and working all my jobs.
I really am unhappy atm, i keep shouting and getting angry and he has told me tonight he isnt sure he wants to marry me He doesnt want to spend the rest of his life with someone who gets angry
Ive tried explaining to him but he will not take on board his part, he just thinks he is so perfect and that he can do no wrong
Im so frustrated right now I love him to pieces but Im not sure if this relationship is right for either of us
Posted: Mon May 05, 2014 7:06 am
Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. The only way you're going to sort this is by sitting down and talking. Try not to get angry and end up shouting. If a conversation looks like it's turning into sn argument suggest revisiting it.
I guess you both need to be patient with each other. You both work soo hard!
I don't truly think my husband appreciate how hard I work but I've just learned to accept that. At the end of tge day we're both working to contribute to our household and for our children- no competition there.
In regards to the car he could very well change his mind. Perhaps negotiate on how much you both spend on the wedding?
I think saving for a house makes much more sense but then marriage is about compromise.
I do hope things settle. Will be praying for you x
Posted: Sat May 17, 2014 5:15 pm
Hi. How are things now? I hope better. Hubby and I used to have non stop horrific fights. Both refusing to give. I couldn't take it anymore, so if we started fighting I just simply showed him my hand and said stop. I don't want to fight. If you want to fight, go and find someone else. It took quite alot of my doing that before he would stop fighting and being mean on purpose. Now we can discuss things (not always!) without it immediately escalating into a fight. Maybe try that? Just walk away if a fight starts, don't give in. Big hug. xxx
Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2016 1:50 pm
It's a tough thing to handle, i understand you. but you have to be patient and loyal to each other. it seems to me that almost all couples experience these ups and downs on their life way. so to say, crises. Try to devote yourself that will draw your attention from quarrels: go to gym, fitness, read a book, go shopping - whatever you wish. the same to your oh. just take a rest from each other, for a while. and you'll realize how much you need each other.