Feel like I'm letting my partner down

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prettybird
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Posted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 11:32 am 
Post subject: Feel like I'm letting my partner down
I am having a lot of difficulty conceiving... I have PCOS and we have been trying for well over a year now and It's just not happening.
Its what I want more than anything and I know that my partner does too. Everyone around me seems to be falling pregnant and I overheard my partner on the phone to his sister who is due in a few weeks saying that he always thought he'd be the first out of his siblings to have a kid.
I just feel like I'm letting him down =(
Banoffee
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2014 1:57 pm 
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Please don't feel like you are letting anyone down. Try not to stress yourself out as they say being relaxed helps. It took me nearly 5 years to conceive my son , so I totally understand how you feel.

Hopefully it will happen soon otherwise go back to
Your docs for some help.
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XxSnooksxX
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 7:17 am 
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Dont feel like your letting your partner down cause really, its you aswell who is down and surely he understands its not your fault and you both got to keep trying. Its prob a man thing against the sisters in a way what he was saying to his sister in a way, you know what i mean?? Embarassed

I do feel for you, but you both are going thru it and its time to try what you need to help. Its about you and him at the moment so stick together to comfort and communicate which will ease the hurt i hope etc. Try visiting a doc or looking up on the net ways to ttc with PCOS or something? I wish i was more help but my heart goes out to you sweetheart.

Wishing you the best of luck and hope you get your wish verrry soon! Love

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SAGZ
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 11:30 am 
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Don't get down on yourself. You guys are doing the best you can. I feel that my wife may feel the same way. There is nothing we can do but to continue trying. I don't blame her for anything. I don't blame myself either. We are both dissapointed it hasn't happened yet but I have faith it will. Wether it's next month or a year from now, or two years from now.
XXMrsSXX
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 3:19 pm 
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hey hun, I know exactly how you feel, I also have PCOS, we tried for 5 yrs and in the end I gave up and went for IVF (initially I refused as I was adamant I wanted to try naturally for as long as possible), we now have a beautiful little girl through IVF and I wouldn't change anything I did, or the heart ache we went through, there was many of time I asked my partner if he still wanted to be with me because we were struggling to have a child, and he always replied 'of course I do'. My advise would be, draw on the strengths and try work through it together, go to the doctors and ask for blood work, refferals for scan to check ovaries etc
a semen analysis for your OH. atleast then you have a base line and you know what is and isn't working i.e make sure tubes aren't blocked, if you are or aren't ovulating, if his sperm count is ok... then look at ways to improve this, for instance, lose weight if needed ( I lost 20lbs before my IVF and im sure this helped).
take vitamins etc,

i'm proud of all we overcame now to have our baby and appreciate her so so much, please don't give up, but try to remain positive, try ovulation sticks and pre seed see if that helps (sorry if you tried most of these things)and good luck, Louise xxxx
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priska
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 3:46 pm 
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Good Evening Ladies ,im new in the group so i first wanted to see if this group is acive
priska
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 3:52 pm 
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hopefully i will get some help and Sad
XxSnooksxX
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 11:35 pm 
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Sure is active priska! Wink Very Happy
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priska
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2014 8:36 am 
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Ohk here is my story im 27 years old and im trying to conceive but its not happening and at the moment i feel so moody and irritated.My Fiance his starting to pick up that most of the time im moody i get angry so fastly bascially he says i have changed abd i just wish he could understand that i have a lot going on in my mind.I cant even go to family gatherings beacause they keep on asking me when im i getting pregnant and its so hurting and frustating beacause i want a baby with all my heart bt its ust nt happening........Sometimes i think what if God thinks im not good enough to be a mother .....I was starting to feel so desperate tha i even wanted to see some traditional people but im too stressed to even get solutions and this issue is starting to affect my relationship with my partner ,sometimes i just snap at him ,i ge cold at him and it hurts me to see him asking me wha is wrong ,why dont i talk to him if something is bothering me and im just not used to talking,we just got engaged and this is my first ever lasting relationship so i dont know how to act or mayb i dont know how to answer him as my husband to be......... Sad i really want to bring back the good times we heard and i jus feel that bundle of joy can really make me happy
XxSnooksxX
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2014 1:00 pm 
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Very understandable that your moody and irritated and its not your fault and your partner should realise that too. Have you tried telling him you have alot on your plate as in trying for a baby for you both and can be a very frustrating/ upsetting and impatience etc all that comes with trying for a baby and also dealing with everyday life? Can be very hard i have been there done that so im here for you if you have anything on your mind you need to get out Smile

Sometimes its better talking to us girls on here rather than a guy who has NO understanding how we feel in the process but i explained it to my OH and he does understand and cuts me some slack (but not all the time) lol THAT in itself is frustrating Laughing ive told mine countless times its hard looking after a 2 year old monster kid and being pregnant again so my hormones are outa wack atm but i think he needs to sit down and hear you out and tell him why you snap and how you sometimes get cold towards him etc and maybe he will work on that so he KNOWS what ticks you off and whatnot. Hunny, if you will love and hold and be there for your child all thru its life then you are most definatly worth good enough enuf to be a mother so take that out of your head cause by the sounds of you you just need to let off some steam to your husband and he needs to help the relationship too and remember 'relationships work both ways' and if there not balanced in understanding etc then its unbalanced and causes problems. Tell him you dont want to snap and you need comforting at this time and you both will get along alot better and being stressed to the max is not going to help conceiving.

I can tell you now, i have been with my partner since i was 19 and im 24 this year and we have both learnt alot in how we both need to communicate to be happily balanced on a emotional etc way. He use to be stubborn to how i felt emotionally which caused me depression cause all i wanted was to be happy and have HIM so of course our relationship didnt look too promising but when i left him when my son was 4 months and when we werent together for 5 months, we missed eachother and never wanted to be like that again and we both sat down and i listened to what he had to say and i said my part and now everything is all good and we love eachother more than ever and i wish that for you both too sweetheart.

I could blabber on more but id end up typing up a book! lol Laughing Im just an email away if you need someone to talk to about anything ok even if you dont want all this infront of people then just personal message me Wink xxx Love

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★☆✿ LIFE is like a camera,, just focus on whats important & capture the good times,, develop from the negatives & if things don't work out,, just take another shot! ツ ♥♡✿
XxSnooksxX
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2014 1:12 pm 
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It will be very stressful on your partner aswell when your not talking to him when you have something thats bothering you which can leave him maybe not that keen on wanting a child right now and when your saying you want a baby and it will make you happy then might make him think 'well obviously your not happy with me and we got engaged' etc. If he hasnt done anything to irritate you and you feel upset or angry, just tell him that 'its the pregnancy issue/things on my mind and nothing to do with you babe' then maybe you would be suprised if he might actually comfort you and talk to you aswell about it?

Dont try drive him away by being moody all the time and snapping at him cause he is trying for a baby aswell aint he? So he obviously loves you cause yous are engaged and wants a baby and he is asking whats wrong and tell him when theres somethings wrong so he can help you but i know it can be a very frustrating thing too but the last thing you want to do is be 24/7 crabby with him and make him not want a baby now till yous are more stable in his eyes. I hope you know what i mean, im just trying to help and just keep in mind what im saying ok hes prob upset that he hasnt got a baby yet so you both need to comfort eachother at this time and try not to push him away. You both want this so you BOTH got to treat eachother nicely or noone will get their way hunny. Pls try understand me! xx

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★☆✿ LIFE is like a camera,, just focus on whats important & capture the good times,, develop from the negatives & if things don't work out,, just take another shot! ツ ♥♡✿
priska
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2014 1:38 pm 
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Thanks for listening i feel so so much better hey ,its just its so hard to keep up with the engagement life this is all new to me ,however i will try to include him when im angry and sad because last time he was compalining that he can see that mayb im stressed or angry but instead of telling him i can tell my best friend and it hurts him that i cant talk to him,well thats the way i am i have never ever being inpendented on a guy and here i am enagaged and all of a sudden i have to share what bothers me ?????its so difficult for me.
priska
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2014 1:42 pm 
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Well im offsick this week due to flu so i am at my mother place ,today he came so early in the morning n we had some quite quality time ,it felt so good and i dont know when last did i enjoy being with him and not arguing,i really miss those days but due to this issue that im not getting preggies all we do is to get in each other nerves@snooks thanks so much


hopefully i can even get some nice tips on how i can bring that spark we had it would be so nice to just lay back ,stop stressing and just enjoy being engaged Embarassed Love Love
XxSnooksxX
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2014 11:35 pm 
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Im so happy you feel better sweetheart! Wink
It would be different getting engaged coming into a new sort of life lol i havent been there yet so i dont completely understand what its like being engaged but i will one day soon, hopefully! i keep dropping the hints to my OH but meh hes takiing his sweet AsS time so not holding my breath lol Rolling Eyes

I can see where your partner is coming from aswell cause by the sounds of him, he WANTS you to include him and not go to your bestfriend or anyone else cause its his and your personal life and its for you both to deal with without anyone knowing and your friends might act like there all good for you to tell them but it might bring their day down or they dont really want to get involved into your relationship and its best if you both sort it yourselves to get it over and done with quicker and your OH might be abit insecure about you telling people problems aswell and not happy about it.

Its all a part of being together as one hunny, once you and your partner are together as a item you share everything together no matter what and he should aswell and makes you both stronger in a way but its all part of it. You dont haveto be independant on him but it might be offencive to him that your telling people your and his problems and im sure you wouldnt like him telling people about you being moody etc all the time and not including him Embarassed Try think in the other shoe here, say that hes bothered and moody and snappy at you and doesnt wanna tell you about it and just takes it out on you everytime and goes and tells his mates about you and your problems, you would feel disrespected and upset and you want to feel included. Thats what he might be feeling.

Try not to be too upset with your partner cause he wants this as much as you and pls do try include him and i bet you any money yous will get along alot more and you will like to include him more cause he might be more affectionate towards you and then there will be no need to tell your friends and just be there for eachother thru the hard times and the good times. The good times will come back when you both are trying your best or maybe think back on how you both were toward eachother when you were in that time that you miss and both trying to be how yous were to bring them good times back. I hope im helping you hunny and im not trying to be mean in ANY way i just want you to enjoy your life and the time will come when you fall preggas and just imagine how you both will feel then!? Laughing Wink Hope you feel happier soon darling and just enjoy being engaged cause even im not engaged yet and so wish i was!! haha Take care Smile xxxx Love Love

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★☆✿ LIFE is like a camera,, just focus on whats important & capture the good times,, develop from the negatives & if things don't work out,, just take another shot! ツ ♥♡✿
priska
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Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 2:15 pm 
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Good Day Snooks

Thsnk you so much for everything you doing for me ,and please dont doubt that you not putting sense in me , you are a lot and i appreciated it so much , i will do as you say i will stop trying to include him and just start including him , his my life partner so i honestly feel its high time i also start to fix things my side ,hopefully talking to him will make things at ease.

By the way he walked in me reading your comments and he was reading so all of a sudden he tells me that damn i like your new friend snooks hopefully she will put some sense in your head#hides# Never the less his gald that im trying to get some assistance and chat to other women who can relate to my problems and assist each other.

Your Boyfriend will propose to you one day ,you sound like a women who is full of life and loving he will never let you go so keep faith and keep on making that man happy one day he will and when he does please tell us Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy


Thanks so much for being such a sweetheart to me ,love u so so much Love Love
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