Domestic Violence/Abuse serious stuff please read

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fairytale
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Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2008 12:00 pm 
Post subject: Domestic Violence/Abuse serious stuff please read
having read through loads of personal things that some ladies have shared on here there does seem to be a need for some advice for ladies in an abusive situation, basic info like recognising that what they are experiancing may be abusive.

Factual information that will allow ladies to make their minds up about their situation and help them to realise that they do have choices.

I am not silly enough to think that its a case of just leaving their partner but some times just getting support and help to work things out.
For the ladies where it is a serious situation then having signposts to organisations that can help them could be very useful particularly if they are isolated in the home with baby.

For many woman domestic abuse doesn't even start until they are pregnant. a woman will be attacked approx 35 times before she will report it or seek help. this site would be fantastic for ladies to seek advice and support during this time. On top of this they have to manage their situation with a baby r child and the impact of domestic abuse on children is huge - they DO see it and they DO hear it what ever age they may.

not sure how u would go about this - and interested in thoughts of other ladies
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Last edited by fairytale on Tue Sep 30, 2008 5:49 am; edited 1 time in total
hopingforamiracle
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Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2008 12:15 pm 
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Excellent idea Fairytale. Well Done for bringing it up.

This is a problem that exists and is all too often brushed aside or avoided. More information should be available to women to enable them to recognize the signs of domestic abuse (emotional and physical) and make an informed decision on what to do about it. You do not have to put up with an abusive partner.
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fairytale
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Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2008 12:25 pm 
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thanks hopingforamiracle - i cant believe how many times i have read it on here - as u say u dont have to put up with an abusive partner - links to websites and even possibly someone on here that is qualified enough to respond. also need to get across the idea that asking for help does not mean the children will be taken away - believe me there arent enough foster placements anyway! it doesnt always mean that the abusive partner has to leave is he/she is willing to see the problem and seek help for it.

just not sure how it can be done but i guess thats down to HannahM and the guys? lol
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fairytale
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Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 5:48 am 
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some info i have found

'domestic violence may start or escalate during pregnancy, pregnant woman are more likely to have multiple sites of injury including being struck on the abdomen, physical injuries to fetuses includes busing, broken bones, stab wounds and even death'

'offenders may abuse children in a way that will have a directly abusive on the other'
'babies under the age of one who have witnessed domestic abuse have poor health, poor sleeping habits and excessive screaming'

'children may recover rapidly from domestic abuse if alowed to ive in a violence free environment'

this is scary stuff - 2 women a week are killed by abusive partners - as are children

xx
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HannahM
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 2:55 pm 
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Hi Everyone,

Thanks for your messages on this.

I hope that the following websites & helplines may be of use as they provide help and information for those expreincing domestic abuse and advice for friends who are supporting people coping with domestic abuse...

Women's Aid - http://www.womensaid.org.uk/

Refuge - http://www.refuge.org.uk/

English National Domestic Violence helpline - 0808 2000 247

Northern Ireland Women's Aid 24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline - 028 9033 1818

Scottish Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0800 027 1234

Wales Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0808 80 10 800 - (www.wdah.org)

Male Advice & Enquiry Line - 0808 801 0327

The Dyn Wales/Dyn Cymru Helpline - 0808 801 0321

Hope that info is of some help

Han x
fairytale
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Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 10:19 am 
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Hannah

many thanks for this info and links - cant stress enough how it will help some one to become better informed for themselves ad there children and enable better choices.

Andie x
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vmcg
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Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 10:26 am 
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This is a site for Ireland as I believe there are a few of us from Ireland on here

http://www.nnwrss.ie/current_members.htm
HannahM
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Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:44 am 
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Thanks for adding that vmcg
ClairaBell
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Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:49 am 
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This is really good as some women think that there is noone to help them. I work for a housing association and we provide housing (though limited) for women fleeing domestic violence. Just someone to talk to can be a great help.
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Charlplusbabies
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Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 7:32 pm 
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Niceone Fairytale.

I think the good thing about this site is that people feel comfortable enough to speak out, however, its easy enough to type it than it is to say it.

Your right in what you say, children do suffer. My son very much so did when I was in a relationship with his father and emotionally, 2 years on he is still very insecure, very sensitive and very clingy and thats 1 thing people tke for granted. Adults may think that they can cpe - but the after effects for children are huge.
I needed a site like this 1 to make me aware that what was happening to me was wrong.
xxxxx
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fairytale
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Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 8:26 pm 
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Curly tots

having the information to make choices and then finding the courage to act can never be underestimated - Children can recover with time and care and ur son is very lucky to have a mum that was able to make the best choice for both of u. i have not been in that position and will never assume that to leave is the easiest option - particularly when u love the abuser and just want the abuse to stop.

hopefully with sites like this providing information, woman will have choice about their lives.

Freedom project is another amazing programme that woman can access in some areas - i have piloted one in my area in conjunction with the DV advocate. - it needs to be in every area as it is amazing. The police are getting their acts together and prosecuting without the victim if necessary and better awareness with professionals from social care.

ok lecture over - sorry if i have gone on but its a bit of a passion of mine - especially where children are involved.
xx
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Charlplusbabies
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Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 12:36 pm 
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I think its a great passion to have. Your right, its not easy to leave - its easier to deal with it.
We need more people like you.
xx
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HannahM
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Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 4:24 pm 
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Hi all,

Just to let you know that i've added a sticky for 'useful contacts' in the general chat forum.

Do let me know if you know of any contacts that should be added to the list

Han x
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