Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 5:13 pm
Post subject: any advice for a mum getting no sleep
my son has just turned one and he is my first baby we love her deeply but i am getting no sleep at ALL he wont sleep in his cot he has to be in our bed i have tryed putting him back down when he wakes he use to go back to sleep with a bottle of milk but now he wont even have that i have tryed letting him scream it out but my partner works from 3am so its hard to stick it out when daddy needs some sleep so i take him down stairs and sit with him infront of the telly he will fall asleep on me but as soon as i lay him in his cot and bring my hands away he wakes up screaming and rattles the cot till i pick him up as soon as i pick him up he will fall back asleep as far as i can see im trying every thing does anyone have and advice i can use
Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 6:08 pm
I know I´m probably the odd one out here but I have my son still in our bed. That way we all sleep best. Just the comfort helps. You might be worried about him getting used to it but they grow out of that. Just trust nature and your son. Besides, it might be jsut a phase. Is he teething? He could feel weird with the cutting through of them and needs you beside him that he knows he is not on his own. Thats all I can say. maybe there is another mom with a better idea out there.
Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 7:54 am
if you really want him to sleep separately to you, the only method I can see working for you is controlled crying. Have a looking in the 'getting baby to sleep' section - there are a couple of discussions in tehre about it.
A word of warning though - you HAVE to be committed to it to make it succeed. Giving in because your partner has to work, or taking him to watch TV will mean it will not work, and you will just create needless pain for yourself and your baby - so make sure you are 100% committed and know what to do before you start
Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 10:17 am
Post subject: sleep
i have tryed the control crying and it is still ongoing but he makes his self sick with all the crying
i do give in now and then and put him in bed with us but he seams to think it time to get up when he comes out of his room and its not fun been up since 2am
but thank you anyway for your idears i guess i will keep trying
Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 2:55 pm
lady I went through that situation with my second daughter and I swore never again luckily daughers 3 and 4 were a lot more content and i am hoping this one will be too. My best suggestion is, if you have to lift him out of your bed so that you oh can sleep then sit in a dark room, no lights no tv no talking, basically no stimulation, just your soothing and rocking, would it be possible to put a single bed in the room where his cot is and try to do it in there for a while that way your oh gets some sleep and you don't need to be disturbed and neither does your wee one, just a couple ideas, whatever you choose though be consistant,
Make a pregnancy ticker
Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 8:34 am
try keeping in his room regardless of the situation between whatever hours it is you want him to sleep between. Once he realises that he can come out and play with mummy, you'll really struggle.
The whole premise of the method is total consistency - as soon as you give in once, you may as well stop completely - in fact you probably should stop compeltely and take a break to let him forget what has gone on, then start again without ANY giving in. If you don't feel able to stay strong enough to not give in at all, then controlled crying is really not going to work for you, so you need to find another way.
Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 10:35 am
Have you tried the supernanny method? I think you sit by the bed head down without making any noise or interacting until bubs is asleep. Every night move closer to the door until eventually you can stand on the landing without any problems.
I personally wouldnt have my daughter in bed with me, it could cause alot of problems especially between you and your oh.
Good luck sometimes you need to ride it out but its all worth it in the end.
Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:01 am
I've had similar problems with my little one, and although we haven't fixed things yet things have improved. We tried controlled crying but I don't think it suits every child, and if they make themselves physically sick I can't see it ever working because when you clean them up and take them out of the cot you are already "giving in" and they get what they want....
To start with we had to put her down asleep and only slowly remove my arms afterher breathing had settled again. When she woke up (which was usually every 20mins in an evening and hourly overnight) then we'd always try to settle her first by talking to her and rubbing her back (or front) slowly from head to toe. If that didn't work she would be picked up and cuddled but we would never leave the room and the lights would be kept off or as low as possible. I wouldn't play or talk, just slowly rub her back. As soon as she settled into accepting on part of the whole process we'd push things that bit further and now we can put her down while drowsy and (unless she's ill) then she might grunt but will wriggle and go to sleep. She eventually stopped waking of an evening and night visits are a lot less frequent.
As a previous poster suggested could your son be teething? Part of our problem is she is constantly with a cold or virus thanks to nursery, and suffers a lot from teething. I know on those nights it's easier for her to come in with us, but when she learnt that she could come in when she really needed it then she stopped "asking" and now only shares once or twice a month, unlike when she was younger and insisted on being in every night.
The main thing is consistency and gentle persistance I think....