Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 3:39 pm
Post subject: HELP!!! what do i do!!!
Hi everyone, i really need some advice on what to do.
i have just found out i am 6 weeks pregnant and due on 10th Oct. i am over the moon, it wasnt planned. i am 20 and my boyfriend is 23, we have been together 3 years and we have a house together. i am really please bout being pregant but my boyfriend isnt he has just started his own business and works really long hours normally works 6 days aweek 7am-8.30pm, he says its not the right time as he wont be around much, he wants me to have an abortions but i dont think i can, i dont believe in it and he thinks i am being selfish i really dont know what to do please help!!!!!!!
Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 4:00 pm
Hmmmmmm this is a tricky one sweetiepie! The way I see it if you had an abortion you would always resent him cos you want the pregnancy. Maybe as well he would end up feeling guilty in the future too? My hubby is working 7 days a week on 12 hour shifts to make extra pennies for us just now and he is still around enough to annoy the hell outta me! It sounds like you've made up your mind already if you're saying you don't believe in it and you can't think of going through with it. Maybe an idea would be to go to pages like the baby development page on this site and show him what is happening already in your womb? I think ultimately it takes two to tango and if you and your boyf have always intended to be together in the future then he needs to take on this responsibility. Don't let him pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. Is there a close relative you could speak to for some advice and support?
I'm sorry I don't want to make things worse and ramble on too much, hope it works out for you xxxx
Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 4:12 pm
Hi cjarchibald, thanks for the advice, yeah thats a good idea bout showing his the babys development, i will do that tonight. yeah i am really close to his aunt but he has asked me not to discuss it with anyone until we have both had a good think. thank you again really appreciate the advice x
Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 6:42 pm
if your happy about the pregnancy, then go for it! really would advice against an abortion, you'd have to live with that for the rest of your life. dont you think he's being selfish by even asking you to do such a thing??
you have to ask yourself, would you be happy to go ahead with the pregnancy? or could you live with having had an abortion?
i no i couldn't
Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 6:48 pm
Although you are in this together, I strongly believe that the decision to have the baby is yours. I am 25 weeks pregnant with a little boy and my bloke is over the moon. I am 21 he is 29. But not everything is as easy!
I was in a relationship for a year prior to meeting my current boyfriend, I got pregnant and the guy I was with hit the roof!! He gave me an ultimatum and stupid as I was I did what he said. I felt he bullied me and I had no choice. The only reason I am thankful for that is because I wouldnt be where I am now and happy.
Some men thinks its the end of the world and its really just the start! My best friend is also pregnant (coincidence) she is 32 weeks and weeks before she found out her partner of almost 5 years said "I dont want kids ever, they are an inconvenience" Now, he cant wait!
It may be just shock first of all but you know him better than anyone else i suppose.
Dont do anything you are nt 100% sure of though, you will regret it forever.
Hope you work things out.
Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 10:10 am
you know you 2 already have the foundations in place - yes ok it wasnt planned but you have a roof over your heads which is "yours" and it sounds like he is just ambitious which can only be a good thing - i am 37 and my other half works long hours too but i am certain when this baby arrives he will change his outlook and priorities - i got a puppy in december and at first J wasnt at all interested - now they go off together for walks etc - they have this boys thing going on !
your boyfriend has a good while to adjust its early days and just give him time I bet you things change just dont "shove" it in his face so to speak
honestly if this is what you want just tell him that the A word is not an option simple I also hope you can talk to you mum or someone you know its amazing how sharing things with people close to you helps
i think you'll find plenty to support you on here - i wish these men understood it takes 2 to tango and if he wasnt ready then why didnt he take more care - but anyway be strong and keep well for you and the baby - and most of all congratulations !
Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:59 am
no way u need to think about u and the baby im 21 my boyfriends 23 too and he said the same thing and i told him i was keeping the baby and its my choice basically eh and now im 24 weeks and hes really excied now and looking forward 2 it i think its the shock of a pregnancy that scares men sometimes but just u think about what u want to do coz at the end of the day it ur body that goes through it either way ur not being selfish at all i dont think i was the same like and u have to do what right for u hun even if he dont agree xxx
Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 3:01 pm
Post subject: Men!
Hi. I had a friend who had the same prob and her man is v happy now (they have a daughter). I agree with Gingin. If he really didn't want to have a baby then he should have been more careful since it takes 2 to make a baby. Do what you feel is right, it's your body and ultimately it will be you that has to live with the decision. Good luck
Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 2:33 pm
well i am no expert but a few years ago i fell pregnant to my low life cheating boyfriend and he pushed for me to have a termination.
(accident that i fell pregnant)
well i did and i hate him and myself for it.
i really think that you should talk to him and explain that if you do decide to terminate that it may be detrimental for your relationship, as clearly this is not what you want
it takes two to do the deed and in my guilty experience it should not be up to him to decide its your body and you will be the one who has to deal with it in the long run.
i really think tha he will come round to the idea that he is going to be a dad and you a mum i reakon he is terrified but it will be ok