What should I do?

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BabyBlues
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Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 7:31 pm 
Post subject: What should I do?
Ok, not sure where to put this, so posted it here!

I don't have a partener, but really want a baby, before it's too late. I'm quite young, but due to health problems and family history, there's not much chance I can get pregnant after 30. I'm almost 20 now, and would love to have 2 children! Do you think it's a good idea if I was to use a sperm donor to get pregnant? I've been researching it on the internet, but would love to know what people think I should do. I was thinking about Adoption, but I really want a baby of my own!

What do you think I should do?
mylillamb
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Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 8:29 pm 
Post subject: xx
hiya.
i think you should wait a while your still young and have plently of time. i think you should give it a couple of years and see if mr right comes along. and if not think about all this stuff then. but i think its great u want to be a mum just leaving it to see what happens may be the best thing u could do.
but if u do go ahead and have treatment (spem doner)i think that to is great
what ever makes you happy.
good luck let usno how u get on xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Archie1
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Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 8:57 pm 
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I agree with Mylillamb. I wouldn't rush into things as Mr Right may be right around the corner and from this experience so far it musn't be easy at all trying to do this without a partner. I am in awe of those who do as it must be so difficult. What about looking into freezing some of your eggs and then you could have a back up plan? I'm not too sure of the details of that or how it works but might be an option for you xxxx
cardea
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Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 10:23 am 
Post subject: Fertility problems
Hi ! I was diagnosed with severe endometriosis when i was 19 and was told only one of my ovaries was working. All the doctors did was tell me to get pregnant as soon as possible. I thought that this was an extremely irresponsible thing to be telling a 19 year old as there are so many other factors you need to take into account when planning a pregnancy. Money, relationship and social situation. I met my husband when iwas 19 but we both wanted to make sure we were in a financial position to afford a baby as well as making sure we had our own stable home. I got pregnant 4 years ago and had a miscarriage. I'm now 29 and due to give birth next week. ( i concieved naturally with both pregnancies ) looking back to when i was 19 i know i made the right decision not to get pregnant. Everyone is different. My mum had me at 19 and my sister at 20, but she did it as a single parent, no job, no money and no home of her own. She has done well since and now is a university lecturer but she really had to fight hard to get up the career ladder. But she really did struggle. What i am trying to say is, having been in your position - young and diagnosed with a fertility condition, do not allow the medical proffesion to scare you into maknig a rash decision. Believe me, there is plenty of time for you to have a baby, and hopefully, if it is something you are planning it might be beneficial for you and the baby-to-be to not do it alone without a supportive partner/father.Not all women get this support, so if it is a concious decision you are making, i would wait to see if you meet someone nice young man !!!!!!!!!!!!
Kimberley20
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Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 10:06 pm 
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cardea,
it's good to hear u were able to concive naturally, my closest mate (also my partners sister) also suffers from severe endometriosis and it breaks my heart to be talking about my pregnancy so much, when she has so little chance of conciving herself.
she's 23 and desperate for a baby and has been trying for over a year with her partner, but no luck yet.
have u any advice i can give her?? after having a few surgeries on of her ovarys is completely scarred, so she can only ovulate once every 2 months.
but i always tell her it's still possible, although she's not as hopefull.
i'm glad i've read your comment, 'cause it's proof to her, that there is hope and it still can happen.

thanks.
kimberley xo
cardea
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Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 11:33 pm 
Post subject: Endometriosis
Hi and thanks for your reply. Yes, having to deal with the physical pain of emdometriosis is hard enough without the emotional heartache it also brings. I only have one ovary working, but luckily my poor right ovary has taken over the job and ovulates every month ( they usually take turns! ). I tried a couple of things medically speaking such as taking provera tablets and i also had two courses of zoladex injections. These treatments basically put you through a temporary menopause with all of the side effects, which believe me, in your early 20's is not a good thing. This does not improve your fertility. All it does is stop your body ovulating in the hope that the endometrial patches will shrival up. As soon as your periods return it is just as bad. I tried alternative therapies such as herbalism, aromatherapy and i also found cutting out wheat was extremley beneficial with regards to pain relief which sounds very odd but has been pretty well researched. I understand how you feel. After i had a miscarriage 4 years ago my sister in law announced her happy and perfect pregnancy to the world. I felt like someone was rubbing salt into a very sore and open wound. This is just how you feel at the time as your emotions are all over the place and you reflect on yourself and what you see as your own ' failures'. It is not right to expect everyone to not talk about their pregnancies as you have every right to be excited but it sounds that you are very aware of the pain it can cause and are being sympathetic enough. ( I personaly kept out of my sister in laws way as i just could not cope with it and at the same time did not want to bring a downer on what should rightfully have been a very exciting time for her, it was the only way i could cope with my own grief at the time ) It is still possible for her to concieve. I was convinced it would never happen for me, but it has happened twice. It depends on what area your friend lives in but i think after 18 months of trying you can be refered to a fertility specalist. My other sister in law has PCOS and had tablets to help stimulate ovulation - she got pregnant after 4 months. Maybe your friend would benefit from this sort of treatment to encourage and stimulate ovulation more than every 2 months with minimal intervention to start with ? I would make sure her GP is informed all of the way so they have a record of how long she has been trying. Good luck to you and her. Never give up hope XXXX
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