The stupidty of men?!

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PetraLou
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 7:23 pm 
Post subject: The stupidty of men?!
So after my sweep news today- and the almost definite possibility that i'm going to be induced on saturday, and the baby wont come of its own accord, my stupid boyfriend has seen this as a red flag for his last night of freedom! He has gone to the pub after work, and is now god knows where, in god knows what state.

I am so angry and upset and getting myself in a right mess. I cant believe that he would be so stupid and selfish as to do this today! Two more days, thats all he has to survive without a drink, and he's decided that me going into labour is not as important as a few pints with the lads.

Please advise what i should do! I'm sat in bed at home tearing my hair out and crying because i'm so frightened of going into labour and being on my own! He would not be able to drive me to the hospital, and would no use to me at all now!! I know the chances of it happening tonight are small, but the midwife could be wrong, or everything could just on very quickly couldnt it?!
flossie
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:02 pm 
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Hey hun I cant be much help to you but try not to stress too much....I used to be married to one like that after 15 years traded him in for a bigger and better model!!!
Am sure its just pre baby nerves on his part, but if I were you I would have myself a nice bath, shave my hairy bits and pieces, paint my nails the works, then put his toothbrush down the toilet. Failing that scare the cr*p out of him and text him you think you are in labour then when he gets home whoops false alarm.
Do I have an evil streak or what.
Have a good ole rant on here hun, Flossie xx
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PetraLou
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:06 pm 
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Ive already phoned him and told him i'm having pains (which is true, but i think they are just a side effect from todays sweep)... Pre-baby nerves are fine, but this is just ridiculous. He's in the spare bed tonight, and he's pretty much ruined our last day tomorrow before we definitely have our baby.

If baby does come tonight, he wont be getting a call, my dad can take me to the hospital, and they can all know what a waste of time he is! He wants to be a dad, this is what juveniles do, he's 28 years of age!

p.s. toothbrush down the toilet is too good for him - i'll wipe the dogs bum with it and see how he likes that
flossie
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:15 pm 
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Was hoping to bring a little smile to your face, I really do understand how you feel as I say my ex constantly let me down. I am glad you have your dad to take you if anything happens and it really would be a damn shame if like you say a drink came before his childs birth. Lets hope you get through tonight with some sleep you are going to have to try and rest you have a big day on Saturday. Spare bed sounds good, hope its a lumpy one.
Take care and try not to upset yourself, Flossie xx
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PetraLou
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:20 pm 
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Thanks Flossie, u did make me smille, i'm just so upset. We've had our problems, and i really thought that when it came down to it i could rely on him. Obviously i was wrong.

Thanks for taking the time to reply to me, thought i was going to crack up sitting here stressing myself out. I feel sick and cant even face to eat anything. I know he's going to be drunk when he comes home, which means a massive row. Not what i need!!

xx
lisaken
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:23 pm 
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hi hun you dont need the stress or the baby try and get some rest not long now and it will be all over he should no you will be worried sick men eh hope all goes well lisaxx
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flossie
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:30 pm 
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Petralou you have to put you and baby first, I think having my two made me so much stronger, gives you a unit all of your own. I have been reading your posts and the comments you leave for other women and you know you get a feel for what people are like, I know you are a clever lady. Nobodys life is perfect but at this stage of your pregnancy your boyfriend is acting very unfairly towards you, under normal circumstances its bad enough but about to give birth and him letting you down is not on. It would be very easy for me to advise you but its hard and can only really sympathise as I know that feeling of dread well. Hope he really feels dreadful in the morning, dont waste your energy hun xx
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PetraLou
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:33 pm 
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Thanks Flossie. I am going to get some sleep now, and leave him to it. Yes, you're right, tomorrow he will feel absolutely shocking, and its damaged our relationship. I get let down by my family time and time again, particularly my mum, and he knows that I rely on him so much, and have even become clingy towards the end of my pregnancy. For him to do this is bad, but for him to do it when he knows how i am feeling at the moment is unforgivable.

Baby is number one to me, so i'm off to sleep to get my rest ready for the birth whenever that might be xx

Thanks againx
Dawnydoobs
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:04 pm 
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Dear Petra,

Men can be pretty selfish at times, my partner tried to dump me when I became pregnant. Luckily he was just having nerves at the thought of becoming a father and we are still together.

I completely understand your frustration and anger towards him, oh and I like the brushing the dogs bum with the toothbrush idea but really does the dog deserve that? lol.

I know it's easy to say and I am not one who practices what she preaches but try not to stress and worry too much, it will affect you and the baby.

I hope you are sleeping well and look forward to hearing about your baby arriving into the world Smile

Take care.

xx
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gingin
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 6:38 am 
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i have just come to the conclusion that men are made of completely different species they just have skin like us !!! you know my other half watched me carry 2 boxes to the car the other day .. oh and not to mention the wanting sex all the bloody time - apparently its my hormones - yeah whatever - i told him yesterday that i am fully prepared for the day when i go into labour the response will be - can you just hang on i am reading my emails !!
us girls must stick together !!
hope your ok- they just dont think like us in fact they just dont think fullstop !
gx
flossie
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 9:41 am 
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Good morning Petralou - Hope you had a lovely nights sleep and enjoy your last day before becoming a mummy.

Flossie xx
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PetraLou
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 12:37 pm 
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Hi girls, thankyou so much for all the messages. He came back at 10pm, he was a bit drunk, but not too bad. His reasoning was that the midwife had said there was no chance of the labour starting on its own - i should have been a bit more tactful and not told him all of the information!! Anyway, he slept in the spare bed, and has been very timid today, and apologised, but said he couldnt cope with me being hormonal and neurotic!!

He isnt a bad egg really, and has only been out 3 times since i've been pregnant, so i shouldnt moan, i just think his timing was ridiculous last night!

I am going to enjoy this last day now before my induction tomorrow

Thanks again xxx
Dawnydoobs
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 12:47 pm 
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PetraLou wrote:
Hi girls, thankyou so much for all the messages. He came back at 10pm, he was a bit drunk, but not too bad. His reasoning was that the midwife had said there was no chance of the labour starting on its own - i should have been a bit more tactful and not told him all of the information!! Anyway, he slept in the spare bed, and has been very timid today, and apologised, but said he couldnt cope with me being hormonal and neurotic!!

He isnt a bad egg really, and has only been out 3 times since i've been pregnant, so i shouldnt moan, i just think his timing was ridiculous last night!

I am going to enjoy this last day now before my induction tomorrow

Thanks again xxx



I can understand fathers to be anxious over birth etc and I'm sure we as hormonal wrecks can become quite difficult at times lol. You are right though his timing was pretty bad, at least he did say sorry.

Just glad that you have sorted it out and can get on with having a baby Smile

Take care.

xx
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Chutzpah
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:39 pm 
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I think it's safer if I stay out of this thread....
fifitrixibelle
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 3:11 pm 
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Hi PetraLou just wanted to tell you a funny story that happened to my future MIL when she was pregnant with my other half's lil brother(By the way at the time she did not find this remotely funny but years later we all still think its hilarious including her now!)
Well 2cut a long story short, my MIL was taken my ambulance to hospital when she went into labour and her husband was to follow with the other kids in the car.Along the way the ambulance went 1 way round the roundabout and my FIL took the 'wrong' exit.It wasnt a wrong exit he had spotted a newsagents and spotted his last chance to get himself a pack of ciggies!the ambulance drove all the way back round looking for him and told him he had taken the wrong turn and to keep up it wasnt long now before he would arrive!He said, oh no i know where im going i just wanted to get a pack of ciggies at which point the paramedics errupted in laughter while my mil was screaming profanities at my FIL!
Moral of the story:
He didnt mean to cause any offence to my mil and ur bf probly hasnt even considered he may have hurt ur feelings he's just thinking excellent i can go down the pub after all.Seriously, that is all he is thinking!Its not his fault, they are not programmed to think where emotions are currency!!Best of luck and Im sure everything will work out!!xxxx
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