how young is too young?

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karine05
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Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 5:31 pm 
Post subject: how young is too young?
Hi, im 19 and a half im basically in my 20th year of life, not sure if pregnant as iv said in a previous post, I know that at my age biologically my body is at its prime for ttc but am i too young? My mum nanna and aunty all had children between 18-20 but is that because its a different generation? i just dont want to become a figure or a fact! need some words of wisdom my heart and head are telling me different things! thanks good luck everybody! xxx
lisamummy
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Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:08 pm 
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i got pregnant when i was 17 and 20 and it happened straight away, finding it harder now im 28 Sad
if your ready to have a child, ie in a stable relationship, and can financally support it all, and you think you and your partner are ready then go for it i'd say.

It was the best thing me and my partner ever did,

dont know if thats any help Question
lisa x
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amysmum96
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Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:17 pm 
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hiya hun just to say its entirely your choice and desision when you have a baby i had my daughter when i was 21 she is nearly 12 now didnt think about any more till now but my how its hard we been tryin for 7 months and i have 4 days left till i test... but just to say you and only you will know when ur ready good luck in whatever you decide to do xxxxxxxxx
karine05
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Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:36 pm 
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yeh im in a really good relationship, care for my partner deeply and im not interested in the usual lets go out and get drunk moto most people have my age ha ha awww i really hope that you get the result you want! and thankyou for your advice i dont feel so ermm, young? ha ha good luck ttc!! xxx
startingagain
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Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:40 pm 
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Hi Karine05

How young is too young ? . . . how old is too old ???

I got married at your age and got pregnant very soon after, had been with him for 3 years.
after 10 years of marriage and 3 child we divorced, it was mutual and we are still good friends.

I am now 38 with a wonderful partner of 2.5yrs, he has no children so I am starting again.

Only you know how you feel and what your situation is, talk to your partner and if it's what you both truly want and you're sure you are ready then why not ? I got caught nery easily in my 20's, pretty sure it won't be so easy now but hey I'm still gonna give it my very best shot !!

Good luck with your chat and decision x x
karine05
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Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:48 pm 
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Thats a really good point im so glad you brought it up! i just dont want to be a stereotype or have to walk down the street with my head down because i think people will judge me! its so sad because obviously my body is ready and if so why shouldnt i be able to have a baby!

Im so glad to hear that your thinking of starting again how exciting must it be! i really hope everything goes to plan and that things arent too difficult for you and your partner. You must let me know how everything goes and i will do vice versa, im doing another test tommorow so im crossing my fingers so tightly! xxxxxx good luck
startingagain
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Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 8:57 pm 
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as long as it's what you want its no one elses business, just remember if others judge it's their problem, not yours an keep your head high !! Age really doesn't seem to matter these days it's who you are and how you feel that matters.

My cousin was only 15 when she had her daughter and though it was a shock, she's a great mum she's 29 and has a little boy now too and she's very proud of them and herself Very Happy

As for me I have to wait another 10 days to test . . . good luck and loads of baby dust . . . keep me posted

x Donna x
karine05
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Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:19 pm 
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awww your all being so nice! i thought i was going to get a surge of *your too young* replies but im really nicely surprised! good on your cousin, sounds like shes done amazing! i hope your test is positive and you can get on with being a mommy! loads of baby dust to you 2! xxxxx
roxyfoxy032
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Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 10:07 pm 
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heyyy i have just turnt 20, and i also feel i am ready to have a baby, i feel exactly the same way as you i dont want to go out and get drunk like most girls our age!! personaly i dont think there is a age to be to young to be a mum,i just guess every women knows when the time is right for her!!! xxxx
mickey23
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Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 10:39 pm 
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Hello Karine05,

I'm 19 years old (20 in May) my partner is 21. We feel that its the right time for us we have been together 6 years in September and were getting married June this year. We have just moved into a new house from a tiny little flat. (Mind you its taking a long time ttc.)

I spoke to a lady at my work and told her my partner and i were ttc and she said her and her partner wanted to try for a baby when she was 21 yrs old but family and friends told her she was to young and needed to wait for the time to be right eg. having a nice home, good job etc.
So they put off having a baby untill everything was perfect and now everything is perfect for them both she is too old for a baby as she is 46 years old and nature has taken its course and she has gone through the menopauses.

It made me feel so sad to think that has happened to them and i think there is never a perfect time for anything but as long as you and your partner are happy and both love each other and a baby is what you both want then why not!!

Hope this helps

Take care xxx Smile
jenniP35
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Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:17 am 
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Only you will know if the time is right. If I had gotten pg at your age I would have been devasted. I've done all my partying, been all over the world, have had two careers in completely different fields and only now feel that i am ready to be a mum. Part of the reason for this is that at 36 my clock is ticking. I have a lovely partner, house, car, friends and although we're not flush have a reasonable lifestyle and can just about afford kids.

Anyway he'll not let me have any more four legged animals so it's time Laughing Laughing

Good luck to you and your man X
karine05
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Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:38 pm 
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wow so im not the only one then? i thought it was just me! its because my grandmother was very relgious so shes passed the moral side of it down to my auntys and uncles including my dad, he didnt have me until he was 35 and he's a teacher ect. I just know he will be disapointed in me... but i cant help how i feel! it just feels so natural to want a baby, my partner has a stable job and can work over time ect so i know i will be well supported.
Congratulations on getting married! Thanks all so much xxx
Squibby06
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 3:35 pm 
Post subject: Hi
Hi karine05.
I know this post was a while back now but I though I would reply anyway.I am also 19(20 in september) and my partner and I are starting trying for a baby this month.

We have been together for a year and 2 months but I know he is the one I want to spend my life with and have a family with.

In response to your question.You are definitely not too young,there are girls out there having babies at 12(now that is ridiculous!).For some people,being a mum is what they are supposed to do,I know I feel that way.

Since I was about 13,all I've ever wanted is to be a mum and now I've found someone who feels the same as me,so why not start trying.

It makes no difference how old you are,as long as you are mature enough and feel ready to handle it,that's all that matters.

I also wanted to add,I feel the same as you about going out and getting drunk-it's never really appealed to me and I could quite easily give it up.I'm meat to be a mum,that's how I see it.

Good luck with trying,lots of baby dust * * * * * * x
asfletcher
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 3:42 pm 
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i had my first a month before i turned 21. i was more than ready too! im not nearly 24 and have 2 children plus pregnant with number 3. have been with my partner 5 years and cant see it ending anytime soon as its a great relationship!
Chutzpah
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 8:26 pm 
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I love it when people try to get my mum involved in arguments about being pregnant too young. She always says "well, I was 17 and unmarried when I got pregnant with my first".

Always priceless to see their smug attitude go up in smoke!

The other thing to bear in mind is that my mum then married at 17 and twenty-nine years later my parents are still happily married with four children and two grandchildren (and another on the way!)

Conversely (ooh, posh word) my mother-in-law didn't get married until her late twenties and didn't have my wife until she was 33. She got divorced two years later and never remarried (my wife is now 23, for the record).

It's all swings and roundabouts. I think the saddest thing is a child being born to parents that aren't ready. Age is just one factor.
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